The Church Lady Part 2 The SAGA Continues
On Average, 3800 people attend church each week. With 1200 of those attending my service alone, you can imagine how TCL affects other people besides me, Pastor Dave and the band leaders wife.
As I sat amongst my wonderful friends at our evening bible study group on Sundays, we often talk about things.. As you might understand, me, I like to talk about things too. I am the type, that if you ask me a question, you going to get a truthful answer... Sometimes, imagine me having no tact, I mean not always, depends really. But at times I have no intention in approaching a subject with any tact at all...
This group of people is made up of two men, 9 women... The group leader is a wonderful smart person, she is in her 60s and is sharp as a tack. Then there is Ed, middle aged fellow whos body has had every problem in the world. There is a sweet girl, who just had a baby, has a sweet innocent crush on me.... The wife pointed that out to me, I am a dummy as to when women are hitting. I just think there being nice to me... So I never let myself be alone with her, as per the wifes orders. But the rest of the women are between 28-50.
When we were covering Solomon and talked about his 700 wives and 300 concubines, I made a stupid comment about how lucky I thought he was. Now I didn't speak out loud, I mention it to Ed... I speak louder than I think, because you could here a mouse ffart and than all eyes looked through me.... It was one of those Christmas Story moments, the time the kid was helping pops change the tire and he said OH FUDGE.. I mean, come on.... (the following statement can't be read by females) look fellas, you do the math, thats how many women till the cycle starts over? Nearly 3 years.... Oh never mind, I am just rambling on and headed for trouble....
As it was, we were talking about tolerance/patients, and I leaned over to the wife and whispered they don't know the Crazy Church Lady... but yet again I was loud... Maybe I wanted attention or something in my inner mind... But the response was much different... EVERYBODY started making noise and they started talking about her...
Now, have you noticed, up to this point I mentioned TCL? That is because I would only call a rude name like that in private, only to my wife, thats kinda being christian I think.... But it is what it is....
I can't tell all the things that were being said, we were a small group of mud slinging people who were doing things we shouldn't really do. We were all being naughty, and it felt good... It was a kinda of love fest on how the crazy church lady got on every ones nerves.... Just as fast as it started, it ended... The air seemed cleaner and every one was less stressed...
Last Sunday, the deed happened... If deeds would/could be described by size, than this one would be a whopper... I didn't just walk into it, I created it.. From the start I knew it wasn't going to be a master piece, by a long shot....
I think I had some alter ego images/feelings going on, folks like dirty harry, walking tall copper dude, and maybe a little robin hood in the mix. I let my emotions control my instincts.....
Pastor began talking about some of the old testament, and the crazy church lady agreed.... that started the deed... see the deed isn't my fault, I claim no ownership to it, but I did create it. The deed is owned by all the church members that the crazy church lady annoys. So lets call it a group deed...
I reached over and grabbed the tambourine, gripped it like Big Ben holds a football, sure hope he doesn't fumble next weekend or else I will never live that down either... See how easy I just walk into things... LOL...
I asked her not to use it in service in my nice quite voice, but this time nobody joined me in this effort. I was alone, and she wasn't having this take place like I was hoping it would end... She grabbed one of her bags she sits out, a guard or tribe, and swings it at me..... I blocked it, still holding the thing, Pastor looks over as does every one else in church. All sat comfy in their seats, no help comes.... Some other things start happening, and folks around us started to move away. Still no one comes to my aid to help me.... I get a hold of the thing, snatch it, place on her seat... Said... " NOW STOP PLAYING THAT DURING SERVICE OR ELSE JOIN THE BAND " she went off the deep end, no doubt the devil was in her, while she was in Gods house.. The words she said proved time and time again that she wasn't in the Holy Spirit that day...
She grabbed all her stuff, still cursing me and now to other church members, decided to talk to the whole church... Mean while some called the police, this taking place over a few minutes. I guess the police have no crimes to worry about first thing Sunday mornings, I guess most thugs were put in the slammer saturday night...
They come in, Pastor is trying to talk with her, and she starts with some short cop.... Look, you can pick on tall cops, never fat donut eating cops or short cops, they have issues we don't understand... Johnny 50 wanted to show God respect in his house and tried to talk to her to come out of the church, she did go with them... Seconds later a small scuffle could be heard outside, she tried to spit on the short cop.. Go figure right... Seconds later after hearing that, a church member gave pastor the thumbs up, I saw it with my own eyes!!!
All you could hear was him say "glad that is over " and every one started to clap.
People started to shake my hand like I was a defense player on a high school football team and made the game winning point... I mean pats on the back, and thank yous an all the praise a hero gets...
After the service, I was directed to go in town and the pastor wanted to speak with me after his last service.. I thought, here we go, I started it, now I am going to get kicked out of the church...
Our conversation was short, and he was grateful to me, but asked that if this continued allow him to handle it. I agreed.... So I get a email from a person, they said it is rumored she was asked to leave the church because of the words she used and her out burst...
I do feel bad in a way, but sometimes things happen. I also heard from a good source she had been asked several times to stop it, and she had been asked to leave our sister church...
I learned that there is nothing wrong with spreading joy, just be careful how you do it... Lesson learned...
My grandma took chickens to church in a cardboard box...people are weird sometimes. I took a squirrel to church in my pocket
last year
I can't imagine how disruptive that was but that is grandma....she does what she pleases. She has always been a bit eccentric. She raised those birds entirely in the house and bathed them once a week in the sink 
I would have never dreamed of doing that! That was......kind of...mean. I wonder what Jesus thinks of that? 
MoPi I dunno what to think of you sometimes. I have no idea what i would have done in that situation myself though, so I can't judge you, but at the same time....I'm just...I can't believe you DID that!!!! Lord, have mercy!!! And she hit you with a bag?!?! And then spit, and...and... OY!
