Hello, GP! Welcome to my front porch! I am just having coffee and some leftover Sausage Cheese Muffins for breakfast.
Thank you for your comments and your prayers. I think prayers are vital to life. I hope as a new Christian, you take the opportunity to take some Bible studies. There are many out there. We really got a lot out of the many studies written by Max Lucado -
Just Like Jesus and
Experiencing The Heart Of Jesus were two of my favorites. My dh and I took a 13-week study called
Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby. As long-time Christians, it really made us review our relationship with God and how to make it better and more personal. It is a course I highly recommend. Beth Moore has some excellent studies for men and women, although her focus is women's studies. Even though I was familiar with the stories of David, Beth's study,
A Heart Like David, helped me take each section of his story and apply it to myself. It helped reaffirm that although we all are imperfect, God's love for us is eternal. We are saved by His Grace.
I hear you on the lifestyle changes. I am pretty good at letting the past go.
Though, occasionally sad about the gads of money we spent when we were younger on inconsequential/material things, and silly things like going out to eat, we don't hang on to any dream of going back to that lifestyle. We are happier people now. But if I had that money, I have a long list to use it on - mostly food ministries in the community...and selfishly, a new pressure canner.
The week we lost our business, my daughter had a strange occurance at home. We were playing and out of nowhere grabbed her neck and fell to the floor. She is two. She couldn't move. I called 911. I was scared to death. Turnes out, sprained neck from us swing a chain like a jump rope. But I had really been suffering emotionally that week with the business and all. After her little scare, it didn't seem so bad. I was thankful it was so simple of a problem and the recovery went well.
All those things you mentioned, are so true. Material things do not matter. Your daughter's incident probably helped put that into focus for you. People and our relationship with God are really the only permanent "things", and everything else is temporary. You might enjoy Ortberg's book
When The Game Is Over, It All Goes Back In The Box. He is a good writer with a wonderful sense of humor. You might be able to find it a church or public library, or at a half-price book shop, or yard sale.
I hope you did not get any sense that we are desparately sad here. I think frustrated would be the right word. In general, we are pretty happy people. I should probably put more of that aspect of my personality on my front porch, since I write about it in my private journaling.
We arrived at our new place with the thought that we were here for a purpose. We weren't sure what that purpose was until we realized that this place needs work for safety and health reasons. It could also be a more environmentally and energy efficient place to live if just a small bit of money were put into it. It is on a very nice large lot on a dead end lane. While we have not lived this close to people in a long time, we were apartment dwellers for two years. And before that lived in subdivisions and neighborhoods in Texas and Ohio. So I don't mind the neighbors. Although truthfully, I was not fond of living next door to 7 German Shepherds when we first moved here. But now that the neighbors only have 3 GS's, the noise isn't as bad.
Most of our frustration comes from the fact that the landlord doesn't care about this property, which is only one of seven that he owns. We can't imagine owning a piece of property and not caring for it. So we do what we can with little or no money spent. The indoor plastic window kits we had were purchased over a year ago at a year-end close out sale. At the time, we got enough kits for 20 windows for $5. So we've covered the windows, but the back door doesn't shut properly because a previous tenant kicked the bottom of it in anger so it is twisted. As I've mentioned before here on my front porch, we've considered covering the door with 4 mil plastic and a door quilt if we stay. The landlord had Mr. Fix-It push the door closed and put one of those laughable "security chains" on the door (instead of replacing the door) because he said he didn't want to spend money on a door.
I guess we should never put our hands to our forehead and ask if it can get worse, because it always can.
We learned in a study we took, you should never ask for patience, because God will not give you patience. He will give you the opportunity to practice patience.
I do believe in life lessons and that things can't be all butter and sweet cream or we all would go to heaven as saints, right?
I don't think any of the saints had an easy life. Stephen was stoned, Paul beaten and imprisoned numerous times, Peter was crucified.
We find comfort by leaning on Jesus 24/7 here, GP. I found at times when I feel overwhelmed that if I Let Go And Let God (take control), I have a feeling of calm and reassurance like no other. I will not pretend that this is an easy thing to do. By the grace of God, we have been blessed in many ways.
I hope you dont feel that Ive been preaching, because that has not been my intention. Feel free to visit and chat any time.
