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Laugh(s) for the day

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by sumi, Jul 10, 2014.

  1. May 11, 2015
    sumi

    sumi Super Self-Sufficient Administrator

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  2. May 11, 2015
    sumi

    sumi Super Self-Sufficient Administrator

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  3. May 14, 2015
    sumi

    sumi Super Self-Sufficient Administrator

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  4. May 16, 2015
    sumi

    sumi Super Self-Sufficient Administrator

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  5. May 16, 2015
    Smart Red

    Smart Red Lovin' The Homestead

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    Heard of an "activist" movement on Mother's Day suggesting no one should send flowers to people. "You tear the reproductive part of the plant off and give it to your mother with thanks for. . . what?"
     
  6. May 29, 2015
    sumi

    sumi Super Self-Sufficient Administrator

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    Saw this sign today.. only in Africa? IMG_0429.JPG
     
  7. May 30, 2015
    Denim Deb

    Denim Deb More Precious than Rubies

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    There used to be a cemetery across the street from an old folks home around here. The sign on the old folks home said, FOR THE AGED TO REST AWHILE.
     
  8. Jun 10, 2015
    Britesea

    Britesea Super Self-Sufficient

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    SPAMALOT
    * * * * * * *
    Limerick

    There once was a man of St. Jude,
    Who tried to cook SPAM in the nude.
    He cooked it too long,
    And unless I am wrong,
    You expected this line to be lewd.
    * * * * * * *
    Haiku

    Patio slime trails
    Are not from snails but anxious
    SPAMs seeking escape.
    * * * * * * *
    Sonnet

    Shall I compare thee to a can of SPAM?
    Thou art more pink and more gelatinous.
    Much ill is said about this fine "SPiced hAM"
    Yet never is it called keratinous.
    Sometime too hard the arteries are made
    And often is the heart's beating too dim,
    And every glob of fat in time is laid
    Upon the waist, for Jenny Craig to trim.
    But thy eternal pinkness shall not fade
    Nor lose possession of that fat thou earn'd
    Nor shall Death brag thy heart attack SPAM made.
    When in eternal sloth thy life was burn'd
    So long as men can breathe or eyes can see
    So long will SPAM's blue cans bring joy to thee.
    * * * * * * *
    Gilbert & Sullivan (to the tune of I am the very model of a modern major general)

    I now confess proclivity,
    For alimentativity,
    Involving parts ambiguous,
    Of that which once a piggy was.

    A cumulus gelatinous,
    Ingesting which will fatten us,
    And raise us to such ecstacy,
    That folks will crane their necks to see.

    This mottled pink comestible,
    Which most find indigestible,
    I find quite indispensible,
    And gorge 'til I'm insensible.

    So grab the can, examine it
    And if it says there's SPAM in it,
    Decant it to a plastic plate,
    Then fill your face and masticate.
    * * * * * * *
    Spammerwocky

    'Twas tiffin, and the gelid SPAM
    Sat glist'ning moistly on the Spode:
    All greasy was the noisesome reek
    On midday air bestowed.

    "Beware the acid reflux son!
    The fiery belch, the throat that stings!
    Beware the withering stares of those,
    Who find that pigs have wings"

    He took the proper fork in hand:
    Long time each gristly bite he chewed--
    A thought! To spit it back on plate--
    He could not, it would be too rude.

    And as he pondered this faux pas,
    Regarding porcine jelly,
    A mighty belch, that seared like flame,
    Came rumbling from his belly.

    One chew, one chew and then you're through
    And top it with a Snickers snack.
    You think it down, but as you frown,
    It comes eructing back.

    "And hast thou dined on SPAM, my son?
    Come--have some Digel foolish boy,
    Enjoy the charms of Hammer's Arms,
    The Pepto-Bismol ploy.

    'Twas tiffin, and the gelid SPAM
    Sat glist'ning moistly on the Spode:
    All greasy was the noisesome reek
    On midday air bestowed.
    * * * * * * *
    spam is a nutritious
    delicious treat
    serve it up fried
    on toasted whole wheat
    or chop it up
    and boil it too
    we are having
    yummy spam stew
    it's pink processed meat
    in the blue can
    wonderful stuff
    to have on hand
    it never goes bad
    it never was good
    the incredible
    edible
    processed non food
     
  9. Jun 15, 2015
    wyoDreamer

    wyoDreamer Lovin' The Homestead

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    I have SPAM in my cupboard. I only eat it about once a year. Shredded, mixed with shredded cheese, diced pickles and mayo then spread on English Muffins and toasted under the broiler until it gets bubbly and browned. My mom made it as a special treat for us when we were kids.
     
  10. Jun 16, 2015
    Britesea

    Britesea Super Self-Sufficient

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    DH and I are actually rather fond of Spam... especially the Jalapeno flavored stuff. DS won't touch it though.
     

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