most funny hunting story

[mrs.puff]

I've got two--

My aunt down in the ozarks told me that they had a freezer full of deer, but they didn't really like the taste of it, and was asking how I cooked mine. To make a long story short, "the boys" down there shot a deer then decided to hang it up to age it. Unfortunately, they failed to remove the innards first.

An old buddy went hunting for the first time with his uncle when he was a kid. The uncle said he had to eat whatever he shot. The day starts to get long... and he hadn't managed to hit anything yet, and got all frustrated and annoyed. So he just shot at anything, and that anything happened to be a woodpecker. Uncle cleaned it up, and the kid had woodpecker for supper.

 

[k0xxx]

My nephew was deer hunting for the first time, in a stand by himself. He had a very nice buck enter a clearing and he shot. The buck immediately dropped and my nephew radioed his dad (my brother-in-law) to tell him that he shot a deer.

He was told to wait a while and his dad would come to help him retrieve it, so he poured himself some hot chocolate from his thermus. When he looked up again, the deer had got back up. So, he shot it again. The deer ran toward the edge of the clearing and dropped.

A short time later his dad showed up and they went to retrieve the deer. When they got to the clearing, there were two large bucks, each shot once.

 

[punkin]

My nephew was deer hunting for the first time, in a stand by himself. He had a very nice buck enter a clearing and he shot. The buck immediately dropped and my nephew radioed his dad (my brother-in-law) to tell him that he shot a deer.

He was told to wait a while and his dad would come to help him retrieve it, so he poured himself some hot chocolate from his thermus. When he looked up again, the deer had got back up. So, he shot it again. The deer ran toward the edge of the clearing and dropped.

A short time later his dad showed up and they went to retrieve the deer. When they got to the clearing, there were two large bucks, each shot once.

Lucky dog!

 

[roosmom]

Now, anyone that is familiar with blaze orange knows how it seems to glow at dusk. Keep that in mind.
Remember the clearing at the bottom of the hill that I hunt in?
About three yrs after I began deer hunting, my new husband (who didnt like me using the 30.06) talked me into trying his 30-30. He showed me how to put the shell in and how to rack a new one in after you racked/ejected? the old one out (or does it automatically eject them?). He also showed me how to use the iron sights (no scope for me). I was not happy with the situation but young love (lust) being what it is I agreed to use the 30-30.
With my blaze orange vest on and blaze orange hat (yes, I was supposed to have more blaze on than that), I tromped down to my ground blind by the clearing and got settled in. It was about 1pm. I waited, and waited. My fingers started to
grow numb from the cold, even with gloves on. The yard lights came on up on the hill at the neighbors house and still I waited. Soon dusk was upon me and so was the only deer I had seen all evening. I raised the unfamiliar gun up to my shoulder and looked down the barrel.
Suddenly, I hear this droning noise. HMM, that sounds like a plane, I think. It is coming nearer. I am watching the deer in the sights and he doesnt seem to be bothered by it. I take bead again. The plane is coming closer still. I wonder
if it is the DNR , I had heard they would be using planes this season. I look up to see if I can see it.that is when I realize, I should
be heading out of the woods, I dont have much time! My eyes are starting to water and my heart is pounding very hard in my chest, darn it I did not want that to happen again. I take bead one
last time and slowly I pull the trigger.Bang.
The deer drops. The shell ejects (I think). So in the twilight I attempt to rack another shell in. The droning noise is closer. Wait, I see movement
there up on the hill..it looks like someone is coming down the hill! OMG it is my hubby. S*** the deer is trying to get up too.
Now think about it, all this is happening in the space of two maybe three minutes.
I cannot get the shell in, I have racked and ejected about three shells. (mother-----, son of a ---, I whispered in a raspy voice) The deer is going to run away, Hubby is going to scare the deer! Oh my lord. I step slowly out of the blindI lean the gun against my seat. Then I wave my arms frantically to get his attention. He is still coming down the hill. I start to twist my upper torso from side to side as I wave my arms trying to get his attention . The deer is still trying to get up. By now he is about 30 yards from the deer, HE SEES IT. Up comes his gun..klapowee. He shoots from the hip . Plane is just flying, low and slow, over the clearing. The deer is now desperately trying to get away. Hubby brings the gun up, takes aim and administers the final shot. The plane is almost invisible now.
He later tells me that all he can see is this bobbing weaving blaze orange mass with no arms (that would be me) just inside the treeline ,
and he didnt see the deer till the last second. The deer startled him and that is why he shot from the hip.
The deer was only shot twice. My first shot severed his spinal cord and hubbys shot killed him. Suffice to say that I have not used that gun for deer hunting again.
WHAT A DAY!!!!!

 

[ticks]

Now, anyone that is familiar with blaze orange knows how it seems to glow at dusk. Keep that in mind.
Remember the clearing at the bottom of the hill that I hunt in?
About three yrs after I began deer hunting, my new husband (who didnt like me using the 30.06) talked me into trying his 30-30. He showed me how to put the shell in and how to rack a new one in after you racked/ejected? the old one out (or does it automatically eject them?). He also showed me how to use the iron sights (no scope for me). I was not happy with the situation but young love (lust) being what it is I agreed to use the 30-30.
With my blaze orange vest on and blaze orange hat (yes, I was supposed to have more blaze on than that), I tromped down to my ground blind by the clearing and got settled in. It was about 1pm. I waited, and waited. My fingers started to
grow numb from the cold, even with gloves on. The yard lights came on up on the hill at the neighbors house and still I waited. Soon dusk was upon me and so was the only deer I had seen all evening. I raised the unfamiliar gun up to my shoulder and looked down the barrel.
Suddenly, I hear this droning noise. HMM, that sounds like a plane, I think. It is coming nearer. I am watching the deer in the sights and he doesnt seem to be bothered by it. I take bead again. The plane is coming closer still. I wonder
if it is the DNR , I had heard they would be using planes this season. I look up to see if I can see it.that is when I realize, I should
be heading out of the woods, I dont have much time! My eyes are starting to water and my heart is pounding very hard in my chest, darn it I did not want that to happen again. I take bead one
last time and slowly I pull the trigger.Bang.
The deer drops. The shell ejects (I think). So in the twilight I attempt to rack another shell in. The droning noise is closer. Wait, I see movement
there up on the hill..it looks like someone is coming down the hill! OMG it is my hubby. S*** the deer is trying to get up too.
Now think about it, all this is happening in the space of two maybe three minutes.
I cannot get the shell in, I have racked and ejected about three shells. (mother-----, son of a ---, I whispered in a raspy voice) The deer is going to run away, Hubby is going to scare the deer! Oh my lord. I step slowly out of the blindI lean the gun against my seat. Then I wave my arms frantically to get his attention. He is still coming down the hill. I start to twist my upper torso from side to side as I wave my arms trying to get his attention . The deer is still trying to get up. By now he is about 30 yards from the deer, HE SEES IT. Up comes his gun..klapowee. He shoots from the hip . Plane is just flying, low and slow, over the clearing. The deer is now desperately trying to get away. Hubby brings the gun up, takes aim and administers the final shot. The plane is almost invisible now.
He later tells me that all he can see is this bobbing weaving blaze orange mass with no arms (that would be me) just inside the treeline ,
and he didnt see the deer till the last second. The deer startled him and that is why he shot from the hip.
The deer was only shot twice. My first shot severed his spinal cord and hubbys shot killed him. Suffice to say that I have not used that gun for deer hunting again.
WHAT A DAY!!!!!

 

[ams3651]

my son once got peed on by a squirrel (that doesnt look like its spelled right??) who had just ran up his leg and sat on his shoulder. It was in archery season, I guess he was really still.

 

[RTRChick]

those are some good stories

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Well, not my hunting story, but DH's.

DH, FIL, DH's older brother, and DH's BIL were going to go hunting together. DH always wears coveralls under his orange for warmth. They were getting their lunches packed and DH went to the "office" to relieve himself before they set out. His dad and BIL thought they would be funny and dosed his coveralls in doe scent. DH gets dressed, puts on MORE doe scent! (ok, that's just fancy working for pee, right? LOL)

So they get in the woods, and settle down. Dh is double doused in doe smell. Not long into the hunt DH hear's this crashing behind him. He looks over his shoulder and a huge buck is running straight for him. There was no way he could run because of all the brush so he literally CRAWLS through the under brush on his hands and knees, screaming at his dad, brother, and BIL to shoot the deer. They are laughing their butts off saying they can't because they can't see him.

DH somehow manages to get away, but he was livid!

Now that I think about it, that's not that funny.

 

[miss_thenorth]

Not my story, but... a friend had gone to the hunting store to buy moose urine for hunting. (store is an hour away) He drives home, forgets about it for a couple of weeks-it is safely (or not) in the trunk of his car. He's driving to work--has a close call with a moose. He's driving home from work--strangely another close call. He gets home, parks the car (he lives out in the country, surrounded by bush.)

Has supper, then goes outside to get a load of wood for his woodstove. There is a huge bull moose mounting his car.

Turns out the moose urine had tipped and leaked in the trunk of his car.

Kinda sick but funny. Don't know if insurance covered the damage.

 

[Beekissed]

WAnna hear a redneck, inbred hunting story?

A fellow back home from a seriously inbred, sadly redneck, backwoods, outlaw family hit a pretty big buck with his truck (on purpose) in hunting season. He and his buddy, discovering the deer was not dead but just unconscious, loaded the deer in the truck and took it home.

The plan was to tie the deer to the porch of their delapidated old farm house, go in for a bite of supper and then come out and shoot it with an arrow....check it in and tell everyone he killed it with his bow.

While they were eating supper, they heard a tremendous cracking, ripping noise! They ran to the door just in time to see their trophy buck running into the woods with a rope around his neck...... and half the porch laying in the yard!