My friend is having a bad day...really bad...

[DrakeMaiden]

It can be really weird when a family member dies unexpectedly. It takes time to actually believe they are gone. So, I agree, your friend is probably in some degree of denial and shock.

I understand the logic of bringing people food . . . . I would ask her what she needs/wants. Ask if it would help to bring her a meal or if she'd rather go out (?) for dinner with you. I guess I'm thinking that some people will grieve differently. Some people may not want to sit at home, while others would prefer it.

I'm sorry to hear about the tragedy. It sounds like his suicide was a poor decision in the heat of the moment. It grieves me that a parent can leave children behind.

Those kids are going to have a hard Christmas. Maybe you might float the idea that there sould be a plan on how to deal with the holiday season. It may help to discuss something logically, even while the emotions are still sorting themselves out.

 

[2dream]

QA - The only thing I can say is to be available for your friend.

Desperate people do Desperate things. Unfortunately, during that desperation they don't think. The advice given here so far is sound advice. There is not much you can really do except be available to your friend.

Since it appears you are really good friends - simply ask what you can do.

I always tell people in crisis to call me if they need me - for anything. Help cleaning house, with children, just an ear or shoulder to cry on.

My heart goes out to you friend and the entire family.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

She's still texting me, but the texts are sporadic. She asked me if I saw it on the news, and I said yes, because I refuse to lie.

I told her to let me know if she needs anything.

 

[keljonma]

Sorry to hear this QA. We will keep your friend and her family in our prayers.

 

[Beekissed]

The food is a good idea. Its something you can do without intruding too much and anything that has meat in it or even lunch meats and cheeses comes in real handy. They will have family in for the funeral and they don't want to have to think about what to serve or cook.

I was really surprised when my friend's aunt died unexpectedly and they called me up. Her mom wanted me to serve food to all the people, clean up the dishes, change linens and do laundry and straighten the house while everyone was at the funeral. I loved doing this service for them and wonder why more people don't ask....people feel helpless and don't know what to do or say to help in these situations. It helps if they just come right out and say "Can you help me in this way?"

 

[Henrietta23]

We went through a tragedy with a friend of DH two summers ago. He died in a wood cutting accident in front of his wife. Our dear friend who lives next door to them was first on the scene when he heard her screaming. We brought food to the wife but called ahead. She had family who was screening calls because of course it was all so overwhelming. She also found she had a house full of people who got hungry. Others went grocery shopping for basic supplies for her. For our friend who was on the scene we just let him talk without asking questions. Some times he needed space and sometimes an ear. We just went with what felt right at the time. We prayed hard.
I'm so sorry that your friend and her family are going through this. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for all of you.