Natural childbirth any tips for the pain?

[NH Homesteader]

And don't watch the birth shows on TV, they always make it look so awful. It really is not as bad as I was afraid it would be.

There was a lady down the hall from me this time that was screaming like a bleating goat. I considered it comic relief. She probably should have gotten pain meds. Lol

 

[ChickenMomma91]

There was a lady down the hall from me this time that was screaming like a bleating goat. I considered it comic relief. She probably should have gotten pain meds. Lol

I bet. I’m sure I’ll be fine, DH keeps telling me I’ll be fine. This time I actually have a baby bump! At 19 I had a molar pregnancy and three years ago we had to have an abortion because my poor daughter was so messed up, no amniotic fluid, no bladder or kidneys. Just a mess. The doctor who performed the procedure was amazing and I loved her for getting my daughters footprints for me. Once it’s safe again I’m getting a memorial tattoo of her feet as owl wings.
Losing Karrigan still has me screwed up mentally so it’s scaring me this time worrying I’ll lose this baby too.

 

[baymule]

I feel kinda obligated to go without the epidural. It’s more of a pride thing than anything else. DH’s exwife will forever be saying ‘well I didn’t need an epidural with Joey’ Joey was also an over 8lb baby and there was a decently long labor according to DH. Now I’ve got it stuck in my head if I get the shot I’m not as strong as her when in reality I’m a much better person. Sadly the little voice in my head tells me that if I get the epidural she wins.

You gotta let this GO! This is YOU and NOT her. This is not a competition, this is about what is best for you and your baby. How is it any of her business anyway? You don't have to tell her or anybody else the blow by blow labor story, neither does your husband. If probing questions are asked, brush it off with a non committal answer such as, I really can't stand the boring hospital stories people tell and prefer not to bore you with mine. Don't forget to smile sweetly.

 

[ChickenMomma91]

@baymule if I could hug you right now I would. I’ve tried so hard to be civil with that woman. If it weren’t for Joey she wouldn’t even know I was pregnant which is honestly how I wanted it. I think she gets that though, I didn’t give her the courtesy of hearing it from us. She heard it from the 13-yr old we share so it’s second hand knowledge. I didn’t think to tell Joey not to tell his mother so oops. Joey asks how I’m feeling when he comes over but I know she makes him report back so even if I feel like I’m gonna puke on his shoes I say I’m fine. He reads nuance very well for his age. He can see I’m not feeling well and tries to help but all his mother hears is I’m fine because that’s what came out of my mouth. I seriously wish I wasn’t in some quiet competition with her, losing Karrigan had me feeling the ‘well I gave him a child and you apparently cant’ was being relayed via thought.

 

[baymule]

I bet. I’m sure I’ll be fine, DH keeps telling me I’ll be fine. This time I actually have a baby bump! At 19 I had a molar pregnancy and three years ago we had to have an abortion because my poor daughter was so messed up, no amniotic fluid, no bladder or kidneys. Just a mess. The doctor who performed the procedure was amazing and I loved her for getting my daughters footprints for me. Once it’s safe again I’m getting a memorial tattoo of her feet as owl wings.
Losing Karrigan still has me screwed up mentally so it’s scaring me this time worrying I’ll lose this baby too.

Stop it. Stop beating up on yourself. My first baby was born without a skull, just a membrane over her brain. She died at 2 days old. I did the same as you, I was a mess. But I went on to have 2 beautiful children, got my tubes tied and quit while I was ahead. Losing my first born made me a better mother. I appreciated my children so much more for having experienced losing the first. Their life was so much more precious to me. We have our children for such a fleeting moment, then they are grown ups with their own families. You get one chance at this. Make all the memories you can. My kids still remember having Easter Egg hunts in July, along with other "fun" things we did, just for the fun of it.

You will be a fantastic mother. You will love and cuddle your baby, remembering the daughter you didn't get to hold and cuddle. You will do so much more with your children because the pain of loss makes for the joy of living.

 

[baymule]

@baymule I seriously wish I wasn’t in some quiet competition with her, losing Karrigan had me feeling the ‘well I gave him a child and you apparently cant’ was being relayed via thought.

She can only get in your head if you let her. Her type loves to spread misery, they are gratified and she can smell the misery she causes you like a bloodhound on a trail. Stop that stinkin' thinkin'. Block her out. Don't bend over backwards to be civil to her, just ignore her, that will eat her guts out. Deal with her only what you have to. Be polite, but distant. She is not your friend.

 

[Britesea]

I was able to have my first 2 children without any help, but my last one was a problem. The water broke but I didn't go into labor, so they had to induce labor. That makes the contractions harder. No problem. Then I had back labor, which hurts more. That got a little harder. Then he started to go into fetal distress at every contraction unless I was contorted in a weird position that would have been uncomfortable even without labor. That's when I finally decided I needed help, and asked for a shot. The relief from some of the pain seemed to help me get down to the business of helping him get out of there; he was born a little over an hour later and everything was just fine (except for excessive bleeding when the placenta didn't separate). Anyway... every pregnancy is different, and just because she didn't need a shot for THAT delivery doesn't mean she won't need help the next time.

 

[tortoise]

I had premature labor with both my boys, starting 25 weeks with my first and 26 weeks with my second. Very scary stuff. They were born just over 37 weeks and 39 weeks.

As far as pain, the first one I had back labor - continuous pain from transition through delivery. The second one I did everything on spinningbabies.com and didn't have back labor. I only had pain during a contraction - nothing in between. Quite a relief.

As far as pain meds, both mine were precipitous and there wasn't time for it. Plus I am absolutely terrified of epidurals and their side effects. I survived. The first one was quiet, the second one I was PISSED OFF with the staff and I screamed - more out of anger than pain. Super over it. I was stuck listening to one birth per hour for 11 hours (long story...), goddammit, it's my turn and y'all are not going to sleep tonight.

 

[sumi]

I went into on-off labour with mine at 30 weeks, 2 weeks and 2 trips to a wonderful old midwife later (to get him into position for the birth) I ended up having a section with an epudural. I went to the doctor 2 days before, he looked at me and said baby is too big, I can't give birth. DS weighed just under 8 lbs (not bad for 32 weeks), but what threw the doctor out was that he had a ridiculous amount of amniotic fluid around him, which made me absolutely massive.

I went into labour properly the morning he was scheduled for the section and was under surveillance and monitored by the nurses, as the doctor said there is no way I can give birth naturally. I was disappointed afterwards, since for some reason, when the time came I had no pain at all. For some strange reason some woman do not feel the pain from the contractions (I spoke to 3 more woman since who had the same experience). It was kinda funny, every time I had a contraction the nurse who monitored me gave me a funny look and I looked back at her like what? What did I do?

@ChickenMomma91 As others said above, every birth and woman is different, but the result is an amazing new little person and joy like you will not believe. I never felt happiness like that, after my son was born, it was incredible! So don't worry too much about what may come, IGNORE that other woman, this is your baby, your body, your life, your turn. Enjoy every bit of it.

 

[TexasLisa]

@ChickenMomma9, you are getting some fantastic advice. Ignore the ex. Concentrate on you and your baby. If you need the shot, by all means get it. It does NOT mean you are weak.

We are behind you. Come back and talk whenever you need to.