Out of the mouths of children-Nice try kiddo!

[elijahboy]

this caterpillar cant bite me cause my arms are made of plastic. yes guy they sure are

me and my 7 yr old are walking throught the graveyard: is that lady sitting on the bench because she is waiting to die.

from a 10 yr old after hearing his 7 yr old sister and 4 yr old brother argue.... gosh they just dont know about life.

 

[Henrietta23]

Not quite the OFG thread, but still funny!

 

[Denim Deb]

Didn't you know caterpillars get another leg for every year they live? That's what the neighbor kids told my son, and he didn't want to believe me when I told him they were wrong!

 

[Henrietta23]

Here is the latest, from an 11th grade Autistic girl. We were working on inferencing skills by answering simple riddles.
Me: J. what is sweet and sticky and made by bees?


J: French toast!

Unfortunately this was her "post test" to show how much progress she's made this year...

 

[Wifezilla]

Everyone know it's FRENCH bees!

 

[Henrietta23]

Everyone know it's FRENCH bees!

Hey, I just wish I could give her credit for getting the sweet and sticky part right. I asked her what she'd had for breakfast that morning. Fruit Loops. That might explain some of it...

 

[Henrietta23]

From my own DS, age 9.
Standing at the cash register in Borders, looking at a display of random stuff for sale on the counter.
A: "Mom, weren't you just saying the other day that you need a Whoopie Cushion?"
Me: "No honey, I can honestly say I have never uttered those words in my entire life!"
Cashier: " "
Cub Scout camp next. Can't blame the kid for trying!

 

[Denim Deb]

I was in a store the other day. The kid behind me picks up a thing of tick tacks and says to his father, let's buy these for mom. Dad said no. I chatted w/them a bit, and discovered mom doesn't even LIKE tick tacks!

 

[Henrietta23]

I was in a store the other day. The kid behind me picks up a thing of tick tacks and says to his father, let's buy these for mom. Dad said no. I chatted w/them a bit, and discovered mom doesn't even LIKE tick tacks!

I get that one a lot. "Let's get this for Dad!"

 

[Henrietta23]

Good one today:

Me: "Repeat after me, 'I like tomato juice.' "

4th grade Student: "I like tomato juice. No, I like PLUM juice!! What is plum juice?"

Me: "I gues it's like prune juice."

Student: "Oh, that's for ba$tard$, right?"

Me: ................speechless........

Student: "Like, old men drink that."


Me: "Right, like that." (Took me a full minute to get the giggles under control.)