Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse

[Wifezilla]

Regardless of the potential form of an apocalypse, what would you do? How would you prepare?

5 ways an actual Zombie apocalypse could happen...
http://www.cracked.com/article_1564...-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html

Quiz: What are your chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse...
http://www.oneplusyou.com/bb/zombie

How to survive a zombie apocalypse...
http://blog.wired.com/defense/2008/04/how-to-battle-z.html

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Excuse me, but are you kidding me?

I only clicked on the first link, and let me assure you, TRUE science would not use language such as THAT!

A true Apocalypse, as is predicted in the Bible, is not even a physical war on this earth. It's a spiritual war between God and his adversaries (and that's a whole other debate depending on other's understanding of the Bible.)

I am not sure what your intentions are here, but I assure you, the majority of us are looking for REAL information/exchange of idea and not stuff from cracked.com which is NOT a reliable source for real information given it is a HUMOR site.

 

[Wifezilla]

This is IN PART humor, but if you ARE prepared for a zombie apocalypse, then you are ALSO likely to be prepared for many other potential REAL disasters.

P.S. The title of the thread should have given you a clue or 2 as to what was in the post. If this is something you think is completely silly, why even read it?

 

[reinbeau]

Cracked.com isn't a scientific site, then again, unless you're aware of the Zombie culture out there, you wouldn't know.....I didn't realize how big this was until I was reading my gun forum and the young guys there were talking about which rifle they'd need by their side in case of a zombie invasion, which I thought was pretty silly, until my then 22 year old looking over my shoulder went into this whole rant about fighting zombies. So while we adults think it's pretty foolish, the younger set (mostly the video game generation) actually seriously discuss it - and Wifezilla, you're right, in a way it does deal with the worst SHTF situation that can come up - are you properly prepared? Silly, but thought provoking.

 

[Wifezilla]

Exactly Ann

I have a 20 year old and a 19 year old. My oldest and his friends play zombie killing video games all the time. Resident Evil seems to be a favorite

I am also a big fan of the movie Shawn of the Dead.

In a zombie movie, the innocent civilians are picked off one by one by an ever increasing horde of mindless zombies.

In a REAL disaster, you could easily have innocent civilians being surround my a mob of people who didn't take any time or effort to prepare and suddenly they ALL WANT YOUR FOOD!

So this gives us a semi-humorous way to take a very difficult subject head on.

 

[patandchickens]

Well, the subject's been discussed on a variety of (possibly older) threads already, and me, my answer is the same as always.

Best way to prepare: be part of a tightly-knit community. A lone family or individual is pretty much going to be S.O.L. in that sort of situation, unless you want to become *part* of the bands-of-roving-marauders problem.

Personally, not *being* part of a tightly-knit community and not having any guns in the house and being quite satisfied keeping it that way, I really don't worry about zombie apocalypse Mad Max collapse of civilization scenarios. I would be among the first up against the wall, I'm sure. Oh well. Those of you who live within a couple hundred miles of the ocean, how much do you prepare for a mega-tsunami hitting and wiping your entire area clean? (I am sure someone out there does. Just, not *most*, is my point).

Everybody dies sometime. Not everybody *lives* in the meantime. I certainly take what I consider reasonable precautions against emergencies and so forth but at some point you have to draw the "oh well" line and this is where I draw it

JMO,

Pat

 

[Wifezilla]

Sounds reasonable Pat

But for those of us with over-active imaginations and/or a dark sense of humor, there is stuff like this...

"Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from Horror Films'

(1) The serial killer is usually someone you know. Look upon your family and friends with doubt and suspicion. Treat them with extreme paranoia. Trust no one but yourself, or anyone who's overly antagonistic towards you for no reason. So what if this goes against all your basic instincts and that you'll end up leading a lonely, barren life? Those instincts won't do you any good if you're dead, and if you're lonely. . .get a pet.

(2) If you decide to get a pet, get a goldfish. Dogs and cats (or even hamsters) are prone to being possessed, going rabid or just turning bad. Goldfishes are your safest bet. However, should your goldfish die, never, ever flush it down the toilet. It might mutate because of all the chemicals in the sewer system and come back to get you. Pet cemeteries? Don't even think it. Just incinerate little Nemo and be done with it. Better yet, forgo the pet altogether.

(3) If you've ever dreamed of having a little house in the woods to 'get away from it all,' give that dream up. Serial killers, mass murderers and your assorted psychos love the woods. You want to live where there are plenty of neighbors around so that at the first sign of trouble, you can go running for help. People who live in isolated parts of the country are always the first ones to get picked off by blood-thirsty killers. Don't even think about taking a vacation in some faraway spot. Think urban, but not too urban (street gangs and medical experiments gone horribly awry), and suburban but not too suburban (not too isolated, but you don't know what your neighbors may be up to). Your best bet may be a high rise apartment complex (plenty of neighbors there), but make sure you're in shape because at the first sign of trouble, the elevators are going to get shut down. Just make sure there aren't any little blond girls living in your apartment complex who like to talk to the static in their television.

(4) Learn self defense and always carry at least two types of weapons. If you carry a gun, your gun will always malfunction at a crucial juncture, so it just makes sense to have a back-up. And if you do happen to run into a psychotic killer, odds are you're gonna have to physically fight him/her off at least once so brush up on the self-defense tactics.

(5) Never waste your time calling the police. They're not going to come, or take their sweet time coming. And once they get there, they're just going to piss off the killer even more because now the killer has to stop chasing you for about 5 minutes to kill the incompetent cop you summoned, and hey, can you blame the killer? Nobody likes to have to do extra work at the last minute.

(6) As much as you may love your friends, if they go off to investigate a mysterious noise and don't come back, never go looking for them. Never. In fact, always ignore any mysterious noise. Investigating it is just plain stupid. You don't need to know what that noise is - curiosity killed that cat, and it'll kill you too. Live in ignorance. It's bliss.

(7) There is one small exception to the above rule - when you're house hunting. If you find a house that suits you ideally, is perfect for your budget, and has plenty of 'run to for help' neighbors - in other words, your dream home - but as you're inspecting it, you hear mysterious noises - do not buy that house. Even if they offer to give you the house for nothing, turn it down. There's a reason they're trying to unload that property unto you and that reason is never good. Don't listen to the real estate agents - listen to the eerie whisperings.

(8) Wear sneakers or comfortable shoes at all times. Even to bed. You never know when you'll need to run for your life.

(9) If you see a door or window ajar and you don't remember if you've left it that way, run screaming from your home immediately. Do not, under any circumstances, lock that door/window, and go back to doing what you were doing.

(10) Psychotic killers have nine lives. Literally. Just because you've shot them, stabbed them, run them over with a car, and mortally wounded them in other ways does not mean you've killed them. If you've managed to knock them out, all you've done is buy yourself a few minutes to run for your life. Use that time wisely and run like the wind. Do not let your guard down and rest. Do not check on injured friends or family (you don't trust them remember?). And definitely do not put down whatever weapon you're carrying.

(11) Being a good Samaritan will get you killed so suppress your kinder, gentler nature. Don't pick up hitchhikers, no matter how nasty the weather is. Do not answer a neighbor's cry for help. They're there to help you, not the other way around. And your mother was right - don't talk to strangers - in person, online or in any other form. You can be friendly or you can be alive.

(12) Never answer a ringing phone. Psycho killers will usually cut your phone lines (right after s/he cuts your electricity) so a ringing phone just means the killer wants to toy with you - and pinpoint your location to get to you that much faster! Your cell phone will always lose its signal when you need it the most. But since you don't trust your family, have few friends, and will never call the pohce, there's no reason why you need to carry a cell phone in the first place. Better to replace the cell phone with another weapon - in fact, get rid of all the phones and hide weapons in their place. Phones are just a distraction and will get you killed.

(13) Brush up on your mystical stories - especially on how to kill things like ghosts, vampires, zombies and the like. There are times when you want to be ignorant, but this isn't one of them. Trying to kill the thing that's trying to kill you is not the time to take a trial-and-error approach. You want to be right the first time.

(14) Don't scream. The people who scream the most usually end up the first to die. You want to conserve your energy to fight the killer. Besides, screaming just gives away your location faster. Save the screaming for when you're about to take down the killer - and make sure you scream plenty of obscenities.

(15) If you're a girl, you want to ally yourself with the tough, no-nonsense outsider. The guy who doesn't like your friends, and is only with your group because of some absurd twist of fate. If you're a guy, bypass the pert, pretty and popular girl that every other guy is drooling over. Instead, go for the girl who is 'plucky.' The one who hurls insults at you constantly, and can best be described as 'anti-social.' However, when, not if, one of you gets injured, the other person should not waste precious time tending to the wound, or crying about their true feelings. Get out of the killing zone, try to find help, deal with the psychotic killer and then have the heartwarming moment. Life's all about priorities.

And finally,

If you get a sense of dj vu, as if you're in a sequel of some kind, pack up and get the hell away from there immediately."
http://www.helium.com/items/642356-humor-lessons-learned-from-horror-movies

 

[patandchickens]

also, 16) *never* go back for the cat (a la Alien); and 17) if everyone else in the movie is pulling a bigger paycheck than you, don't make long-term plans and make sure your insurance policy will cover the kind of funeral you want.

Pat, now actually a little curious if anyone *has* tried to prepare for a giant mega-tsunami

 

[Wifezilla]

LOLOL

Great additions. Good luck with the tsunami! Here in Colorado, we have flash floods (real risk), blizzards (usually no biggie with a little prep), and tornados (they suck, but I am from Wisconsin and have my tornado training black belt..plus they are over quickly.)

Our big "out there" disaster is....

Pikes Peak, a dormant volcano, becoming UNdormant

 

[FarmerChick]

I can't get into junk like this.

but I would handle it like any varmint problem.

prepare for usual emergency situations which we all kinda know and chat about------then learn their behavior and go hunting.
Any hunting techinque means learn the varmints behavior...zombies would be no exception.

And if I can't kill them with a gun, oh well, see ya later alligator.