- Thread starter
- #11
Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse
- Thread starter Wifezilla
- Start date
patandchickens
Crazy Cat Lady
Hey there ya go, did you see that fairly lame movie that the DIscovery Channel (of all things) did a couple years ago, about Yellowstone becoming a ginormous volcano and laying waste to most of the contintent and causing permanent wintertime all over the globe? There's a good disaster to think about preparing forWifezilla said:Our big "out there" disaster is....
Pikes Peak, a dormant volcano, becoming UNdormant
And it *could happen*! (not, of course, too darn *likely* to )LOL
Pat
- Thread starter
- #13
Quail_Antwerp
Cold is on the Right, Hot is on The Left
I didn't realize people believed this to be a real threat
My apologies! I thought you were mostly posting it as a funny haha.
So there's people that really believe we'll be attacked by zombies?
My apologies! I thought you were mostly posting it as a funny haha.
So there's people that really believe we'll be attacked by zombies?
- Thread starter
- #15
Wifezilla
Low-Carb Queen - RIP: 1963-2021
Humor: Lessons learned from horror movies
by David Furritus
Wow, there are so many things I've learned over the years of watching entirely too many horror films. I'll try to remember as many of them as I can:
1. When the seven year old kid that spends too much time staring at the Tv says that a monster is outside his window, go ahead and believe him. If you're going to investigate at least bring a shotgun. It helps.
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2. Always tune up your car and check the gas and oil before making long trips to the middle of nowhere. You never know when you'll have to quickly get in and start the car before an unkillable homicidal maniac comes after you. It's always embarrassing when the car won't start and you get your throat cut.
3. When buying a house, or even house-sitting, find out if anyone ever was brutally murdered there. If they had, make sure that all of the bodies were found and that the killer is safely behind bars. Find out which prison they're in. If the prison reports that the killer has escaped, it's time to leave.
4. When camping always wear comfortable running shoes. Nothing can ruin your day worse than twisting your ankle during a chase and next thing you know, you're head's in a tree and your body's floating in a creek somewhere.
5. Never have sex in the woods. Aside from all of the dangers of poison ivy and whatnot, there's the fact that you'll be the first to get killed. The good news is you'll usually die in each other's arms. At least the coroner will think that it's romantic.
6. When on an archaeological dig, pay attention to what the natives say. If they mention anything about a deadly curse or horrible ancient monsters avoid digging at that site - or just get someone else to do the work for you so that the curse won't affect you as bad.
7. If a disembodied voice in your house says "Get OUT!" (or anything for that matter) you should move - that moment. Pay someone to get your stuff later.
8. Now this might sound racist, but if you're in the middle of Romania and you have to stop at a castle and the host says he doesn't drink wine you should probably head back down the road to the local village and pay someone a lot to let them keep you for the night.
9. If Vincent Price is the host of your dinner party expect at least two people at the table to be dead by morning. If you stay on Vincent's good side it probably won't be you - probably.
10. Avoid Tokyo. I'm amazed that the city is still standing after all of the radioactive lizards that have rampaged it over the years - and the giant moths - and the giant fire breathing turtles - and...
11. If you see a group of people shambling your way making moaning sounds, go the other way - quickly - they're either zombies or drug addicts. Either way it's never a good thing.
12. If you see a clown that has an evil expression on its face, shoot it! If it doesn't have an evil expression, shoot it. I really don't like clowns that much.
13. Don't adopt children that were born on June 6th - or at least get a birth certificate that proves that they had human parents. This will save you a lot of trouble later.
14. If you have found most of your group and you know that there's a killer on the loose, go ahead and leave. They're probably dead already anyway. Sometimes it's just best to cut your losses and go. You can always get more friends, right?
15. Never go back for the dog.
http://www.helium.com/items/802452-humor-lessons-learned-from-horror-movies
See? Practical stuff in the humor
by David Furritus
Wow, there are so many things I've learned over the years of watching entirely too many horror films. I'll try to remember as many of them as I can:
1. When the seven year old kid that spends too much time staring at the Tv says that a monster is outside his window, go ahead and believe him. If you're going to investigate at least bring a shotgun. It helps.
Ads by Google
2. Always tune up your car and check the gas and oil before making long trips to the middle of nowhere. You never know when you'll have to quickly get in and start the car before an unkillable homicidal maniac comes after you. It's always embarrassing when the car won't start and you get your throat cut.
3. When buying a house, or even house-sitting, find out if anyone ever was brutally murdered there. If they had, make sure that all of the bodies were found and that the killer is safely behind bars. Find out which prison they're in. If the prison reports that the killer has escaped, it's time to leave.
4. When camping always wear comfortable running shoes. Nothing can ruin your day worse than twisting your ankle during a chase and next thing you know, you're head's in a tree and your body's floating in a creek somewhere.
5. Never have sex in the woods. Aside from all of the dangers of poison ivy and whatnot, there's the fact that you'll be the first to get killed. The good news is you'll usually die in each other's arms. At least the coroner will think that it's romantic.
6. When on an archaeological dig, pay attention to what the natives say. If they mention anything about a deadly curse or horrible ancient monsters avoid digging at that site - or just get someone else to do the work for you so that the curse won't affect you as bad.
7. If a disembodied voice in your house says "Get OUT!" (or anything for that matter) you should move - that moment. Pay someone to get your stuff later.
8. Now this might sound racist, but if you're in the middle of Romania and you have to stop at a castle and the host says he doesn't drink wine you should probably head back down the road to the local village and pay someone a lot to let them keep you for the night.
9. If Vincent Price is the host of your dinner party expect at least two people at the table to be dead by morning. If you stay on Vincent's good side it probably won't be you - probably.
10. Avoid Tokyo. I'm amazed that the city is still standing after all of the radioactive lizards that have rampaged it over the years - and the giant moths - and the giant fire breathing turtles - and...
11. If you see a group of people shambling your way making moaning sounds, go the other way - quickly - they're either zombies or drug addicts. Either way it's never a good thing.
12. If you see a clown that has an evil expression on its face, shoot it! If it doesn't have an evil expression, shoot it. I really don't like clowns that much.
13. Don't adopt children that were born on June 6th - or at least get a birth certificate that proves that they had human parents. This will save you a lot of trouble later.
14. If you have found most of your group and you know that there's a killer on the loose, go ahead and leave. They're probably dead already anyway. Sometimes it's just best to cut your losses and go. You can always get more friends, right?
15. Never go back for the dog.
http://www.helium.com/items/802452-humor-lessons-learned-from-horror-movies
See? Practical stuff in the humor
MorelCabin
Quilting Extraordinaire
You girls must be incedibly bored
Myself I am preparing for the solarstorm...I think maybe I can beat that one
Myself I am preparing for the solarstorm...I think maybe I can beat that one
- Thread starter
- #17
Of all the possible disaster scenarios, I'm very partial to the zombies. For starters it's much more fun to think about, and it does offer a possible explanation for my black cat's recent behavior (all others have failed)
Plus I figure it's just as likely to happen as any of the other horrifying possibilities that people take VERY seriously. So why can't I prepare for the zombies? Comedy is a central family value for us!
Plus I figure it's just as likely to happen as any of the other horrifying possibilities that people take VERY seriously. So why can't I prepare for the zombies? Comedy is a central family value for us!
farmerlor
Lovin' The Homestead
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I'm always particularly worried about the zombies. As they're always after brains I worry that they won't want me.....
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- #20
