Oh gosh, ya'll! I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to sound like I'm discouraged. I was just talking in reply to the posts on Lady H's journal where one mentioned that they chose to walk away from a job to live self sufficiently.
I'm sorry if my post sounded like a downer. Wasn't what I was going for.
I am REALLY bad with words lately. Really bad.
I can pick out different times when I've been envious of someone for one reason or another, and then I had a friend tell me how envious they are of us because we have the time to just go sit with our chickens if we choose but she doesn't have that because of working full time. I promptly replied to her, "Yes, but you've never been in the position to choose who gets sold to pay the feed bill for the rest of them." Or when you have to choose to between paying the phone bill or buying your kids shoes. (I'll admit, shoes are on my mind because kids start school in 2 weeks! lol)
Again, not complaining, it's just how it is. I think. For us anyway.
I know we have been blessed in many areas, but I still cannot wrap my mind around someone just giving up a job. For example, our neighbor. He had a job that in our mind was a good paying job! He was bringing home $600 a week, more if he had over time. He has a wife and two young children (1 under a year old). Their comment was, "We'll just go get foodstamps."
Now I know some of you are thinking that's not a whole lot - but put yourself in my shoes. $200 a month pays all my bills - seriously. No, that's not bragging, it's just we've cut back on A LOT and try to keep our utilities down low. So to us, that $600 a week he was making should have enabled them to live like kings! E went to apply for a job there, but they refused to hire him do to his back. Afraid to take the risk on him.
E has his above mining certificate. He can drive front end loaders, skid loaders, dozer, etc. Heavy machinery. He's put in for construction jobs, he put aps in with Rosebud Mining, and even an underground coal mine. He always gets the same answer - NO.
Please don't think it's complaining, I'm just giving facts as how it is.
We have made decisions to sell things that we felt maybe had some value, that would pay a bill when we need it. We've sold produce from our garden (this year only) but we have always given excess produce to those who's gardens who didn't do as well - and to my one Aunt when my Uncle had lost his job and they were having a hard time making ends meet.
Tomorrow, E is going to help an elderly neighbor lady who's husband had a stroke and is in a nursing home. She needs steps to her house repaired, and E is going to do that for her. It's been awhile since we have seen her, and I'm super worried about her as she's lost some weight. And she said she hasn't been eating as well. And she told us you don't realize how much the person in your life does for you until they aren't there anymore to do things (like mowing the yard, etc). Which I think God knew I needed to hear that because merely an hour before that I had got so mad at E over something TOTALLY STUPID that I was thinking it would be nice if he packed his bags and left (don't tell him I said that!) It was like God had sent her to give me a personal message, and I made a choice in that moment to let go of my anger.
She also offered us a car she has for sale, but we're not able to buy it. E has thought about asking her if he can do odd jobs for her to work for it. She has to have the car out of her name by September. She also has peaches that need picking, but she's afraid to go pick them by herself incase she would fall and get hurt. E suggested we ask her if we can come help her pick them. (even though I am peached out!)
A lot of people help us - and I literally sat down and cried one day because we had a need and someone offered to help - and I know that's a generous thing, but that particular day I felt like we'd had our share of being helped and I wanted people to give us a chance to try on our own. KWIM? I know that sounds crazy!
I guess my whole point is we're trying to live Self Sufficient, and I don't feel like we made a conscience choice to do it, it was more forced on us due to circumstances out of our control. I'll admit that at first there was a romanticized view about the self sufficient lifestyle, but the rose colored glasses broke a long time ago. I'll admit that I do enjoy that I'm learning how to can and preserve foods and eating healthier. I even enjoy having the animals - but there have been a few times when it was a struggle to just get feed for them, so not sure how much a benefit they were this year. We did not have a good year with poultry, mostly due to predator issues.
Food is going higher and higher - so E is talking about building a hog pen out of skids and getting 2 hogs to raise over winter - one to butcher and one to sell to pay for the next two hogs and maybe put a little $ in our pocket for bills. I'm thinking how are we going to feed them. He said hogs would eat my canning scraps yadda yadda yadda.
My parents want to get us 2 calves with their gas lease check - beef in the field - to give us something that may provide extra income or meat in the freezer.
I'm ready for deer season, as I only have 1 pack of venison left in the freezer and I'm kind of hoarding it lol
And that brings me to the baked goods - I decided to make the pies to sell, etc to help pay the bills or buy things we need (originally it was to save $ towards getting a carseat for the baby, but the phone bill needed paid first). Unfortunately, with spraining my ankle, I didn't bake this past weekend for yesterday. I wasn't feeling up to it. Hoping to make the blackberry and blueberry pies for this next Monday, though.
Again, I wasn't trying to sound like a downer, and I do apologize for it seeming that way. Life is what it is for us. I can honestly say I have been blessed with a beautiful family, a decent husband, and while we're struggling a long we have met some wonderful people that in other circumstances we may not have met. Or maybe would not have taken the time for.
But I would NOT advise someone who has an income, a job that pays their bills and maybe gives them a little money for a few extras, to just throw that all away to "have what we have" because it is NOT all rainbows and roses. It's very humbling when someone else says to you, "What can I do for you?" It's frustrating to want to help someone else, and not having the resources to help them in the way that is needed.
Somehow I think this has come off as another downer, really it's not. It's just me trying to help people understand how it can really be difficult NOT having the security of a job behind you. Being Self Sufficient doesn't mean you HAVE to give up your job. Or that you should. No one is saying that everyone needs to be 100% self reliant/sufficient/providing.
Cutting back on things isn't bad, either. We're going to try cloth diapers this time around - for the first time ever. I've already done away with disposable wipes and have been using washclothes or old towels cut up for cleaning dirty butts (but thank goodness he's doing wonderful with the potty training!) and plan to keep the few disposable wipes that we've been given for going away.
I'm going to be making my first laundry soap soon. This was hard for me at first - I had to wrap my mind around making your own soap doesn't mean you are poor or cheap LOL Giving up the store bought laundry soap is a big step - because I kept thinking if I can buy it why make it....well seriously, if I can make it for $12 a year, why buy it? It took MONTHS for me to change my thinking on this.
Alright, I rambled on and if any of you stayed and read all this, yay, and if you didn't, I Totally understand. It's just the random wanderings of a woman with prego brain.
It is crazy and frustrating sometimes, and I used to be the one helping everyone else too 
It is SO hard to change gears, and it's not like it happened overnight. Gosh darn it, 
It's NOT a downer, it's a perspective, one that you can only reaaalllllly see if you're sitting at a certain angle, looking in the right direction lol! Anywho...impressive post. I so totally have to agree with every bit of it, and it's nice to know I am not alone. If you ever want to just wallow in it all, lemme know, I may wanna join in. I would have today. 
I had to toss two gallons of stinky shoulda been cheese but was still milk type goop out to the birds. Hey, but they loved it. I was so mad though 
I almost threw a stompin flippin out crazy fit 
