Quail_Antwerp: Words from the Barnyard...

[framing fowl]

Hey Aly,

Keep your chin up. You guys have had your share of disappointments and set-backs and major stress but somewhere along the way, things have got to change. Take a deep breath and focus on the positives. You know how much most of us here are longing for paid for land! And you've been blessed with the animals that pass through your gates. You have beautiful kids and another precious joy on the way. You have time to be with them every day and shape their thoughts and character. Praying for an extra dose of encouragement and strength to come your way today.

~ff

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Oh gosh, ya'll! I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to sound like I'm discouraged. I was just talking in reply to the posts on Lady H's journal where one mentioned that they chose to walk away from a job to live self sufficiently.

I'm sorry if my post sounded like a downer. Wasn't what I was going for.

I am REALLY bad with words lately. Really bad.

I can pick out different times when I've been envious of someone for one reason or another, and then I had a friend tell me how envious they are of us because we have the time to just go sit with our chickens if we choose but she doesn't have that because of working full time. I promptly replied to her, "Yes, but you've never been in the position to choose who gets sold to pay the feed bill for the rest of them." Or when you have to choose to between paying the phone bill or buying your kids shoes. (I'll admit, shoes are on my mind because kids start school in 2 weeks! lol)

Again, not complaining, it's just how it is. I think. For us anyway.

I know we have been blessed in many areas, but I still cannot wrap my mind around someone just giving up a job. For example, our neighbor. He had a job that in our mind was a good paying job! He was bringing home $600 a week, more if he had over time. He has a wife and two young children (1 under a year old). Their comment was, "We'll just go get foodstamps."

Now I know some of you are thinking that's not a whole lot - but put yourself in my shoes. $200 a month pays all my bills - seriously. No, that's not bragging, it's just we've cut back on A LOT and try to keep our utilities down low. So to us, that $600 a week he was making should have enabled them to live like kings! E went to apply for a job there, but they refused to hire him do to his back. Afraid to take the risk on him.

E has his above mining certificate. He can drive front end loaders, skid loaders, dozer, etc. Heavy machinery. He's put in for construction jobs, he put aps in with Rosebud Mining, and even an underground coal mine. He always gets the same answer - NO.

Please don't think it's complaining, I'm just giving facts as how it is.

We have made decisions to sell things that we felt maybe had some value, that would pay a bill when we need it. We've sold produce from our garden (this year only) but we have always given excess produce to those who's gardens who didn't do as well - and to my one Aunt when my Uncle had lost his job and they were having a hard time making ends meet.

Tomorrow, E is going to help an elderly neighbor lady who's husband had a stroke and is in a nursing home. She needs steps to her house repaired, and E is going to do that for her. It's been awhile since we have seen her, and I'm super worried about her as she's lost some weight. And she said she hasn't been eating as well. And she told us you don't realize how much the person in your life does for you until they aren't there anymore to do things (like mowing the yard, etc). Which I think God knew I needed to hear that because merely an hour before that I had got so mad at E over something TOTALLY STUPID that I was thinking it would be nice if he packed his bags and left (don't tell him I said that!) It was like God had sent her to give me a personal message, and I made a choice in that moment to let go of my anger.

She also offered us a car she has for sale, but we're not able to buy it. E has thought about asking her if he can do odd jobs for her to work for it. She has to have the car out of her name by September. She also has peaches that need picking, but she's afraid to go pick them by herself incase she would fall and get hurt. E suggested we ask her if we can come help her pick them. (even though I am peached out!)

A lot of people help us - and I literally sat down and cried one day because we had a need and someone offered to help - and I know that's a generous thing, but that particular day I felt like we'd had our share of being helped and I wanted people to give us a chance to try on our own. KWIM? I know that sounds crazy!

I guess my whole point is we're trying to live Self Sufficient, and I don't feel like we made a conscience choice to do it, it was more forced on us due to circumstances out of our control. I'll admit that at first there was a romanticized view about the self sufficient lifestyle, but the rose colored glasses broke a long time ago. I'll admit that I do enjoy that I'm learning how to can and preserve foods and eating healthier. I even enjoy having the animals - but there have been a few times when it was a struggle to just get feed for them, so not sure how much a benefit they were this year. We did not have a good year with poultry, mostly due to predator issues.

Food is going higher and higher - so E is talking about building a hog pen out of skids and getting 2 hogs to raise over winter - one to butcher and one to sell to pay for the next two hogs and maybe put a little $ in our pocket for bills. I'm thinking how are we going to feed them. He said hogs would eat my canning scraps yadda yadda yadda.

My parents want to get us 2 calves with their gas lease check - beef in the field - to give us something that may provide extra income or meat in the freezer.

I'm ready for deer season, as I only have 1 pack of venison left in the freezer and I'm kind of hoarding it lol

And that brings me to the baked goods - I decided to make the pies to sell, etc to help pay the bills or buy things we need (originally it was to save $ towards getting a carseat for the baby, but the phone bill needed paid first). Unfortunately, with spraining my ankle, I didn't bake this past weekend for yesterday. I wasn't feeling up to it. Hoping to make the blackberry and blueberry pies for this next Monday, though.

Again, I wasn't trying to sound like a downer, and I do apologize for it seeming that way. Life is what it is for us. I can honestly say I have been blessed with a beautiful family, a decent husband, and while we're struggling a long we have met some wonderful people that in other circumstances we may not have met. Or maybe would not have taken the time for.

But I would NOT advise someone who has an income, a job that pays their bills and maybe gives them a little money for a few extras, to just throw that all away to "have what we have" because it is NOT all rainbows and roses. It's very humbling when someone else says to you, "What can I do for you?" It's frustrating to want to help someone else, and not having the resources to help them in the way that is needed.

Somehow I think this has come off as another downer, really it's not. It's just me trying to help people understand how it can really be difficult NOT having the security of a job behind you. Being Self Sufficient doesn't mean you HAVE to give up your job. Or that you should. No one is saying that everyone needs to be 100% self reliant/sufficient/providing.

Cutting back on things isn't bad, either. We're going to try cloth diapers this time around - for the first time ever. I've already done away with disposable wipes and have been using washclothes or old towels cut up for cleaning dirty butts (but thank goodness he's doing wonderful with the potty training!) and plan to keep the few disposable wipes that we've been given for going away.

I'm going to be making my first laundry soap soon. This was hard for me at first - I had to wrap my mind around making your own soap doesn't mean you are poor or cheap LOL Giving up the store bought laundry soap is a big step - because I kept thinking if I can buy it why make it....well seriously, if I can make it for $12 a year, why buy it? It took MONTHS for me to change my thinking on this.

Alright, I rambled on and if any of you stayed and read all this, yay, and if you didn't, I Totally understand. It's just the random wanderings of a woman with prego brain.

 

[FarmerChick]

LOL Aly that was a good post.
it is good to just get things off your mind and writing them out helps.

you are very right that SS is not all rainbows and roses. it is hard work for sure and one thing I do know, animals absolutely require time and money and I sure had animals to the max LOL--SS can burn you out cause SS mostly is farming type situations and it isn't a hobby really, it is down home hard darn work.

eh, nowadays alot of things are on people's minds about the economy and it will only get worse with those increasing prices. ugh


you made me laugh about deer season. I just counted my packs and I have about 8 hamburger only left. Yup, come on deer season!
We only put one in the freezer, this year it will be 2!

 

[FarmerDenise]

Aly, I didn't read your earlier post, as I am getting ready to do animal chores and hang laundry.

But you said it beautifully. Being SS is lots of work and can be quite frustrating at times. You have to go and take care of the critters and the garden, no matter how you feel. On super hot days, we cannot go to the beach to cool off, because we have to stay and make sure our animals are not dying from the heat. And the beach is only about 45 minutes away
But then you go out in the morning to let the chickens out and milk the goat, and see your animals frolicking and how tall the corn and sunflowers are, and take a breath and realize that you did all this and it is beautifull and your family is healthy and eats well and you can share it with the neighbors and it makes it all worth while.

I am glad to be babysitting my GS now. DD pays me 1/2 her salary. If she had to pay the going rate, she wouldn't have any money left. We all are happy with the way it works out for us. We manage to survive on $400/month, that includes buying feed for the animals . We do also sell farm stuff and that adds to our monthly income.

DD also lives ony a few blocks from us. We can walk to each other houses.

Whenever I have $50 or so extra I do a "big" grocery shopping, checking the circulars and coupons. I try not to pay more than 50% for anything. Last week I did a "goody" run. Since the kids have been going to the corner store to get, chips, candy and ice cream, and SO has been doing the sam, I thought I would take one of hem with me to show her how to "shop". I told her, if you are going to go to the corner store and pay $5 for ice cream, ever day, why not take plan ahead a little and buy it when it is on sale. We got $104 worth of groceries (including paper towels, vitamins, wine and nuts, besides the candy and chips) for $56. She was impressed. Everything I bought was either on sale, I had a coupon or better yet, both.
We now have enough multi vitamins to last us for 5 months. I only buy them, when they have a BOGO and I have a coupon.

 

[snapshot]

My job (seasonal) ended in March and I haven't worked since. We have moved to SW MS so dh can help his brother on his ranch. He works 3 or 4 hours a day and that is what we are living on. And paying down bills with (slowly). No jobs in the tiny town we are in and we are waiting for a fixer upper that will put us 15 miles out of town but closer to dh's brother. I think hard(er) times are coming to a lot of us and am glad we have a place to share how we feel and what we are doing about it. I read your journal and if we (ever) get out to our house, hope to start my own also. Thanks for posting!

 

[Wannabefree]

Alyyyyyyyyyyy sheesh, you just said everything I have been thinking for the past few weeks about this SS trainwreck I'm living It is crazy and frustrating sometimes, and I used to be the one helping everyone else too It is SO hard to change gears, and it's not like it happened overnight. Gosh darn it, It's NOT a downer, it's a perspective, one that you can only reaaalllllly see if you're sitting at a certain angle, looking in the right direction lol! Anywho...impressive post. I so totally have to agree with every bit of it, and it's nice to know I am not alone. If you ever want to just wallow in it all, lemme know, I may wanna join in. I would have today. I had to toss two gallons of stinky shoulda been cheese but was still milk type goop out to the birds. Hey, but they loved it. I was so mad though I almost threw a stompin flippin out crazy fit

 

[Lady Henevere]

That was an awesome post. Sometimes I get envious too -- I think of the idyllic life in the country, answering only to yourself and nature, being outside instead of stuck in an office, not being chained to e-mail on weekends, taking care of the animals and doing things for yourself. Sometimes the grass seems so much greener on the other side!

But there is indeed some security in having an income, and for all its downsides--drugs, crime, etc.--the city often has the jobs. Whether it's the city or country, there is a trade off somewhere.

I loved hearing about your "day in the life." Thank you for sharing it here. The neighbor lady is lucky to have you and your hubby!

 

[Farmfresh]

Just so you know. I read every post in this journal - every time!

Times are so hard right now, it is extremely frustrating. There are a bunch of us on here that have lost jobs or are severely underemployed. We should have a little poverty club.

Just because you live in the city is no assurance of jobs either. My son and daughter are BOTH looking for work and it seems there are just no jobs to be had. At least where you live you can raise your own food and enjoy the simple pleasures that only the country life can bring.

 

[justusnak]

Aly...all I can say is ....preach it sister. I have been in the same slump for a few days now. Wondering why we chose to work so darned hard, when I could possibly find some part time job, and buy the things we want...not need. The answer comes to me with little lamb baahs, goat bleating..and roosters crowing. Your post is not a "downer" it is reality! Life is hard, and getting harder. Sometimes we are the helper, and sometimes we are the helped. You know....when I get stresses...before bed..I remember a little saying my grandma used to tell me.... Angels on your pillows and always in your dreams. It always comforts me...and I hope it will you too.

 

[abifae]

Just so you know. I read every post in this journal - every time!

Times are so hard right now, it is extremely frustrating. There are a bunch of us on here that have lost jobs or are severely underemployed. We should have a little poverty club.

Just because you live in the city is no assurance of jobs either. My son and daughter are BOTH looking for work and it seems there are just no jobs to be had. At least where you live you can raise your own food and enjoy the simple pleasures that only the country life can bring.

I read you too.

And yeh, I moved to Denver to see if there were more jobs. Nope. Moving back north now. LOL!!

I think you have to be where you FEEL best. Things will suck in some ways wherever you are, so where makes you happiest?