Just echoing what others have said- don't let him get away with shirking his responsibilities! To your children, and to you- you stayed home to raise the children and put your self on hold. You have rocky times ahead, but they are full of discovering just what you can do and what you can bear and who you are in the end will be truely you. Get a lawyer who will advocate for you when you can't. When you say to her (I had a woman lawyer) that you just want to accept *whatever* and get it over with, she will tell you NO- *this* proposal is more fair and we will go this way. I can't say enough about a good lawyer on your side to help you look out after your interests and your children's interests.
Rebecca's journal-may be time to restart this
- Thread starter rebecca100
- Start date
Denim Deb
More Precious than Rubies
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2010
- Messages
- 14,993
- Reaction score
- 620
- Points
- 417
If the house that you are living in is in your name only, then tell him to pack up his clothes and leave tonight, period. If he doesn't want to be w/you, then he cannot stay in your house. If you have ties to the house, and don't want to lose it, rent it out. If you don't want to keep it, sell it and if he wants it, then he can buy it, plain and simple. Is the other property jointly owned, his or what? I'm so sorry you're going thru this. And, you're a stronger woman than you know. I seriously don't know if I would have stayed w/my hubby if it wasn't for my Meniere's. But, the thought of being on my own w/2 small children and the possibility that I could get a vertigo attack at any time is what basically kept me here. I'll be praying for you. 
Oh, and you shouldn't have had to have been the one to tell the kids-he should have. After all, this is his decision, not yours.
Oh, and you shouldn't have had to have been the one to tell the kids-he should have. After all, this is his decision, not yours.
FarmerChick
Super Self-Sufficient
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2008
- Messages
- 11,417
- Reaction score
- 14
- Points
- 248
take it easy now
it is over according to him
don't worry about reasons right now....right now is financial and where you will live and child support
tell that lawyer you WANT every single dime you can get from him......because it is not being nasty.....you have kids! kids require alot to grow up healthy etc. you will need all resources for those kids. tell your lawyer you are going for the throat. And again, this is not to be mean to hubby....this is to ensure you get every single dime for your kids future!!
best of luck to you.
it is over according to him
don't worry about reasons right now....right now is financial and where you will live and child support
tell that lawyer you WANT every single dime you can get from him......because it is not being nasty.....you have kids! kids require alot to grow up healthy etc. you will need all resources for those kids. tell your lawyer you are going for the throat. And again, this is not to be mean to hubby....this is to ensure you get every single dime for your kids future!!
best of luck to you.
- Thread starter
- #654
rebecca100
Almost Self-Reliant
Well I went through his online cell phone account. There were no phone calls to anyone I didn't know, but all the texts he had made were to single number. I had his sister call the number. A woman named Jill answered. there were over 47 texts to her in 2 hours that he was supposed to be asleep in the camper next door. I went Over there and asked for his phone. He refused to give it to me at first. He did eventually and he had put a passcode on it. So I demanded to know outright. He said she was just a friend. He followed me back over to the house and finally admitted he had been cheating in front of the kids. I offered one more time for counseling which he refused. His mother cried. They don't get along and he hasn't spoken to her in months. I talk to her everyday. She wants us to move back down there to Louisiana and live with them. I asked her about this new woman he was with and she and Fil both said that she will not be welcome there ever. Dh admitted he was a bad father and husband. Told me he would give me half his income and pay all the bills(car and cell phone) I asked if he would stand by that in a lawyers office. Tomorrow we go in together to file for an uncontested divorce where he has agreed to give me everything. If he changes his mind then I will fight. Tomorrow I putting most of the animals for sale. I don't have a truck to provide hay. At least the kids saw me try to fix it and him refuse and him admit guilt. Dd said it was like a bad dream that is real.
pinkfox
Super Self-Sufficient
i agree in terms of the house, you said this one is family land in your name only...so he moves out...
or he can buy it from you for full market value...rent it, sell it whatever you obviously dont want it anyway and now its filled with bad memories...
but do NOT just let him live there scott free/have it...and force you onto the other property (no matter how much youd prefer to be there)...
he has no rights to that proptery...
if you want the other property im sur eyour laywer could easily fight for that to ebcome your new home and you could either rent the family owned property or sell it...
and you want support not only for you while you get yourself sorted but for the lifetime of the children you have together.
dont give him anything
take anything thats yours and put it safe, he can have anythig thats specifically his, too, but anyhting of joint ownership of value (monetary or emotional) dont just let it slide.
it sounds like hes in the mids of a money induced midlife crisis and while im not a spitefull person, it needs to be made very clear to this man that its not that easy to toss away your responsibilities.
YOU and your kids are stronger than you will ever know, you WILL get through this together...
tell your kids you need them to simply love you right now, support them and theyll support you!
but you can and will stya strong, youll get through this youll survive and youll be even stronger in the future for it!
show that little girl of yours what REAL women are made of!
you WILL be ok!
or he can buy it from you for full market value...rent it, sell it whatever you obviously dont want it anyway and now its filled with bad memories...
but do NOT just let him live there scott free/have it...and force you onto the other property (no matter how much youd prefer to be there)...
he has no rights to that proptery...
if you want the other property im sur eyour laywer could easily fight for that to ebcome your new home and you could either rent the family owned property or sell it...
and you want support not only for you while you get yourself sorted but for the lifetime of the children you have together.
dont give him anything
take anything thats yours and put it safe, he can have anythig thats specifically his, too, but anyhting of joint ownership of value (monetary or emotional) dont just let it slide.
it sounds like hes in the mids of a money induced midlife crisis and while im not a spitefull person, it needs to be made very clear to this man that its not that easy to toss away your responsibilities.
YOU and your kids are stronger than you will ever know, you WILL get through this together...
tell your kids you need them to simply love you right now, support them and theyll support you!
but you can and will stya strong, youll get through this youll survive and youll be even stronger in the future for it!
show that little girl of yours what REAL women are made of!
you WILL be ok!
freemotion
Food Guru
Why sell the animals? We don't have a truck, either...we get hay delivered. Keep the ones you want to keep, with your ss skills and him paying the bills, you may just be able to continue being a stay-at-home-mom, and keep some normalcy in your life and that of the kids.
- Thread starter
- #657
rebecca100
Almost Self-Reliant
That would be nice to still stay at home. The big animals (horses and mule) will have to go. Without him with us I do not feel safe taking them out in the wagon plus the mule and donkey aren't fully trained and on one acre it is hard to do. I don't really want them anyway. I may be able to get some money out of them or maybe trade them for an older pickup. I am seriously considering taking them up on the offer to move to Louisiana. I don't know what I am going to do for sure yet, but going to Louisiana to be with his family will get him more than anything plus they can watch the kids for me and give support while I get a job.
ksalvagno
Almost Self-Reliant
You can always buy more animals. Putting them up for sale now probably isn't a bad idea. Then you can take your time and if you choose to move, then you don't have to try and sell them at the last minute. Plus they do need care and right now you probably need as little on your plate as possible. I will keep you in my prayers.
old fashioned
Almost Self-Reliant
Free's right, don't move if you don't have to. A breakup is more than enough stress for you & the kids without adding other changes/stresses too. Just take it ONE step/stress at a time, if at all possible. Don't make emotional decisions you may regret later. If at all possible, stay put and stay home with your kids, they need you now more than ever.
FarmerChick
Super Self-Sufficient
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2008
- Messages
- 11,417
- Reaction score
- 14
- Points
- 248
again, take your time
Louisiana is a nice area though
and a families support and help at this time is wonderful....you can always move down there later.
just take care of business first up here. don't get ahead of yourself.
and WOW if you get everything you want and fast in a uncontested divorce....that is good.
so sorry because your mind and heart must be sooooo confused. relax a bit cause this is going to hit you like a TON of bricks in a few days. so be ready to try to remain in control.
Louisiana is a nice area though
and a families support and help at this time is wonderful....you can always move down there later.just take care of business first up here. don't get ahead of yourself.
and WOW if you get everything you want and fast in a uncontested divorce....that is good.
so sorry because your mind and heart must be sooooo confused. relax a bit cause this is going to hit you like a TON of bricks in a few days. so be ready to try to remain in control.
