Rebecca's journal-may be time to restart this

[Wifezilla]

Well crap. I hate being right about stuff like this.



Take care of yourself and the kids. More animals can be acquired later when things are more settled, so if ya gotta sell, sell.

 

[TanksHill]

I am very sad for you and your kids.

But I thought you didn't like Louisiana when you were there before???

 

[MorelCabin]

Don't do anything or make any moves until you have had time to digest all this. DH will have to pay the mortgage and such for at least a few months. Don't worry about anything yet, he has a salary that can afford to keep you and the kids exactly the way you are until you decide YOU want to change anything. Let the dust settle before you go anywhere or make any long term decisions...but get rid of the horse and the donkey
And don't use the same lawyer...make sure you have your OWN lawyer that has YOUR best interest in mind. Having everything wth no means to support it is no good either
Praying for you

 

[hillfarm]

I went threw a divorce with three kids, no job, no education and no where to turn.

I stiffened by back, I educated myself and went on food stamps for 5 months while I got an income.

It was humiliating. It was heart breaking. I worked many jobs and cleaned friend's toilets just to get a dollar. You do what you have to and you learn what you're made of.

But today, I am college educated. I make more than my ex. My kids know that they can turn to me, not him.

He lives with his mommy in her spare room, no GF and no life.

Sometimes, divorce is a slamming door and a new one being opened.

You didnt do this, so you dont carry the burden of guilt, thats his load. And he earned it.


You can go to school. Get a good job. Single can be really enjoyable. I loved it. Had I not found my current husband I was content to be single for a very long time.

I felt stronger than ever when I used my paycheck to pay my bills and provide for the kids. I spent it how I chose and I answered to no one. It has its perks.

Best of luck.

 

[hillfarm]

oh and a side note, sale his crap. seriously, until your legally divorced or seperated you can DISPOSE of joint property.

His tools probably would bring in a lot. SO would his baseball card collection or whatever he has. seems mean, but its practical.

You need money and why sale your stuff, he's the one who didnt mind going behind your back and robbing you of your trust.

Of course I didnt do this, because I thought Iwas being honorable, but looking back. I wish I had. my kids deserved that money.

 

[gettinaclue]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your kids. Sending you love and prayers Rebecca. Now do what needs doing.

 

[keljonma]

His mother cried. They don't get along and he hasn't spoken to her in months. I talk to her everyday. She wants us to move back down there to Louisiana and live with them. I asked her about this new woman he was with and she and Fil both said that she will not be welcome there ever.

Having been there, remember no matter what they say now.... they are *his* parents.

I'm just saying ... I have been down that road and it can get mighty ugly. You are at in-laws and all of a sudden you're the bad guy cause their precious son wants to bring the new wife and grandkids home for the holiday. The new grandson is named for grandpa; awwww, ain't that sweet.

You've done nothing, but now your name is suddenly mud and you're packing to leave Dodge and wondering who will take you and the kids in......

I'm just sayin... think before you move to your soon-to-be- ex-inlaws. It might save your children and you lots of heartache down the road. And let me add that living in the same town ain't no Sunday joy ride either if push-comes-to-shove.


ETA: This may not happen to you. This may not be *your* in-laws.

I'm praying for you and your family.

 

[rebecca100]

No actually I couldn't wait to get away from there living in the house with them. I know though that neither of them would ever leave me the way their son did. But if I could find a place to rent.... I don't know what to do, but I know it will be after everything is final so I should have plenty of time to figure it out. I looked on past bills to see when the texts started. He started texting her two weeks ago on July 4 th. Before that her number never showed up. I asked him about her. She has no kids and is a truck driver like him. I want to get everything drawn up while he is still feeling guilty and generous.

 

[savingdogs]

If you didn't like living with them before, it probably won't be any better now. That they seem to be on your side currently could always be extremely helpful in the future, and having family from HIS side that care about them is important to your children, and them not having more LOSS from his choices. But living together always strains relationships, better save their goodwill until you need it. However, living NEAR them, not with them, might be a good long term goal, but just take it one decision at a time, one day at a time. Sounds like you have a big day tomorrow. I'd try not to change anything for those kids that you don't have to, This would not be a good time to sell any property. Moving far away from him would only ensure that the children don't see him very often and there can be laws about moving your children away from where your ex lives, you need all the information before making decisions.

At least all your SS friends will be as close as your computer, whereever you go.

 

[Marianne]

Before you sign anything, find out what child support is in your state, what alimony you could get, etc etc. You could end up being better ahead financially instead of just taking what seems to be a generous offer.
You'll save a boatload of $$ by using just one attorney, but...do some checking first.

When our SIL decided that he wanted to be single, he offered $350 a month child support. He was pretty shocked when he was ordered to pay $580 a month, and that was years and years ago.

Hang in there. You'll be better off in the long run instead of living with a guy that doesn't really want to be there, but it just 'sticking it out'.