SheriM - Too Stubborn to Stop Dreamin' - SURPRISE!!!

SheriM

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Hi, everybody. This journal idea sounds great. Thought I'd give it a whirl.

Name: Sheri Mitchell
Birthday: April
Hometown: Kamloops, British Columbia
Current Residence: 2 miles north of nowhere, Saskatchewan. :)
Relationship Status: Married
Political Views: Not gonna go there
Religious Views: Not with a 10 ft. pole

Activities: Too dog-gone many to keep straight

Interests: Goats, Goat Milk soaps and lotions, chickens, anything to do with farming, writing, crocheting, educational TV

Favorite Music: Country - the older stuff

Favorite TV Shows: JAG (cancelled :hit ) NCIS, CSI

Favorite Movies: Haven't been to one in years

Favorite Books: Anything by Elizabeth Lowell

About Me: Oh, now this could be a novel! See below.

I have always known I wanted to live on a farm. I did my stint living in the city and always felt nervous, edgy and out-of-place. DH and I moved to an acreage outside Kamloops, British Columbia in 1996 and I haven't looked back. In 2005, we moved to a quarter section in southeast Saskatchewan. We brought our 20 some-odd goats and 3 horses with us. In 2007, our world got turned totally upside down and then thoroughly shaken, just for good measure. DH was diagnosed with a condition similar to Alzheimers and I was diagnosed with breast cancer. To keep this from literally becoming a novel, suffice it to say I'm healthy now, he's not.

So, here comes the interesting part, and the reason I gave this journal the title I did. DH's condition is deteriorating and he can't help out around the farm much anymore. I work part time off the farm as a Home Care Aide and am going to school part time as well (taking courses needed for my job). Knowing DH will require more and more care as time goes on, I knew I needed a way to make more income on the farm, so that by the time he can't be left home alone anymore, I will be able to leave my job and stay home. I can't tell you how many people have suggested selling the farm and moving to town but that's just not an option. I get the willies just thinking about living with neighbors so close you can hear them sneeze or...uh..."pass gas".

Living on a viable, profitable farm has always been my dream and I'm too darned stubborn to give up on that just because DH ended up with this terrible disease. I have re-worked "the dream" many, many times, trying to adapt to an ever-changing situation without giving up on the essence of the dream. I have cut back on the number of goats at least 3 times and will probably be doing that again this year. I was raising rabbits (Holland Lops for sale as pets) and had to let that go. We sold the horses as they were too much work and had become mere pasture ornaments.

The problem is, I know what I want this farm to be...what it COULD be...but I am only one person. We have no children, all of our siblings live in other provinces and we have virtually no help or support here. I have one set of neighbors I can call on if I really need something, but they are incredibly busy with their own farm and I hate to bother them all the time. I have another friend who is very willing to help, but lives an hour away and is also busy with his own farm and family.

I've basically accepted that this is going to be a one-woman show here, but I'm not sure I'm up to the task. Since the cancer (or since the treatment, more specifically) I don't have the energy and stamina I used to. Despite having to sell off the rabbits, I still feel the key to any successful small farm operation these days is diversification. Putting all your eggs in one basket (in our case the goats) just isn't smart. I also feel very strongly that value-added is the way to go. With that in mind, I've started a business selling goats' milk soaps and other skin care products. This is part of the plan to be able to stay home more as DH needs more care. I can make the soaps and lotions right in my kitchen and can take him with me to sales, etc. The business is going slowly, but it's going. With everything else on my plate, it's taking a back seat right now, but I will be gradually making more time for it.

I also want to start raising chickens. We had a few meat birds last year and it was one aspect of the farm DH did seem interested in. His particular form of dementia causes a great deal of apathy and disinterest in the world around him...a big part of why he isn't much help around here anymore...and so if I find anything he does show an interest in, I jump on it. So, yeah, he's interested in the idea of chickens -- this week. I have no guarantees whatsoever that he won't lose interest in a heartbeat, so I have to be certain I don't create more work on the farm than one person can handle. "Make more with less" has always been my motto, so I'm leaning toward keeping a few layers for eggs to eat and sell and a few "fancy" birds. There seems to be a reasonable market for the specialty birds and they sell a lot higher than simple layers or meat birds.

I mentioned in my intro on different thread that I'm also interested in starting a garden. We both need to eat a much healthier diet than we have been and finding good quality affordable produce in the stores around here is challenging, to say the least. Unfortunately, the one thing I did not inherit from my mother was her green thumb. I'm very, very good at killing plants. :) Gardening is going to be a huge learning curve for me, but I really do want to tackle it.

I also stumbled quite accidentally on another minor source of income when my two livestock guardian dogs got pregnant. They are Great Pyrenees and it was my male Pyr/Maremma cross who bred them, so the pups will be good working dogs. There's a big demand for that around here, since the coyotes are thick as thieves. The thing is, I feel strongly about doing things right, so now I need to build a kennel to keep the girls from being bred every time they come into heat. I want working dogs, not puppy factories.

Okay, I guess I've rambled on long enough. I warned you this could become a novel!! I'll probably post more later, 'cuz it sure is nice to have a place to put down all my thoughts.
 

PamsPride

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:welcome

You really do have a full plate! I hope everything works out for you! I hope you can get your soap business going good! A garden sure is a lot of work but the end result is so rewarding!
 

justusnak

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:welcome Sounds like you DO have a full plate. I am so sorry to hear about your husbands health. Maybe chickens will be the one thing that will keep his interest. They are a great therapy animal, just watching them calms me when I am in my worst moods. They are comical...and really not too much work, other than winters keeping waters from freezing. :rolleyes: Gardening in your area...I would ask the neighbors for any and all advice. I am sure they will be glad to help you get going on that. It can be a lot of work, keeping the weeds down, but the end results, fresh veggies...in my opinion is worth it. When winter snow and winds are howling outside...and I can open a jar of "fresh" peaches I put up myself...and make a yummy cobbler...it just makes winter seem less stressfull. A little bit of sunshine in a warm yummy dessert!
Hang tough, and I agree, makeing ANY farm profitable is hard these days. We are leaning more towards not makeing money, but saveing money by not haveing to buy our food.
 

lorihadams

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Hello again, sounds like you have had a rough go of it lately! I am glad that you beat the cancer but sorry that your husband is having problems. Chickens are pretty easy if you keep the numbers low at first and get the hang of it. We have 6 layers and 2 roos(for now) and we are comfortable with that. We have rabbits too but we didn't want them, we got them as gifts for my children from MIL. Sounds like you and I have a similar dream! I want to plant a garden too but we are in limbo about having to transfer due to hubby's job.

I think that being on here is one of the best things that you can do. There are so many supportive and funny people on here that they will pick you up and make you laugh when things are rough and celebrate with you when things are good....and if you have a problem, just ask! Someone will be willing to help with whatever you need!

Glad to have you here,


Lori
 

Quail_Antwerp

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Wow! Just WOW

You're situation just mirriors mine on so many levels!! Main difference is, my husband has blown his back out, but still has his mind.

I admire you for not giving up your dream! Good for you! Chickens and goats, that's what we are raising, too! Except I am not doing the goats milk soap at this time.

I'm very good at killing plants, too! I call it black thumb. LOL Dh has the green thumb, and I would like to say I'm going to be doing the gardening while he watches, but I know my husband, he'll be out there trying to do it, too, blown out back or not!

Welcome to SS! I hope you settle in and share all of your grand adventures with us!
 

SheriM

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I need some perspective here, 'cuz maybe there's such a thing as being TOO stubborn. I mentioned in my first post in this journal about this being a one-woman show and how I'm too stubborn to give up on the dream but now I'm beginning to wonder if my stubbornness has too high a price. Both my LGD females became pregnant in Dec. because I wasn't able to get my kennel finished to keep them separated from the male. I did not have them spayed because I was always intending to breed them, but it was supposed to be in summer, not winter, and only one at a time.

Anyway, the first girl whelped two weeks ago. I'd been watching her for days, checking every few hours through the night, despite having the usual chores, work, school and soap business stuff to handle. I finally got too tired and, since it looked like she wasn't as far along as I thought, I didn't check her on the Tuesday night. Wed. morning, I found a dead pup and three live ones. That pup paid for my good night's sleep with its life. She was in a hurriedly prepared stall in the barn and somehow got out and had the pups in a larger part of the barn I call "the nursery". Ironic, huh?

Thursday night, I found one of the pups had slipped out of the stall into the nursery area and was extremely chilled. Worked on him till 2 a.m. but lost him. Fast forward two weeks to the next litter. I thought I'd learned my lesson and had the second dog installed in a shed, with deep straw and hay bales for barriers to keep the pups under a heat lamp. The dog looked ready to whelp on Tues. morning, so I even took the day off work to stay with her. I checked her every hour or two, but by that night, I was tired, so I checked on her at 10 p.m. then grabbed a few hours sleep. At 2 a.m. I found 3 dead pups and 4 more freezing cold. I spent the next 14 hours battling to keep the pups alive as she continued to have puppy after puppy. She ended up with 9 live ones. I spent the entire day going back and forth to the shed, bringing in cold wet puppies to warm and dry them with the hair drier, heating pad, etc.

Two pups were smaller than the others, a white one and a brown one. At one point, we thought we'd lost the brown one. He was totally limp, ice cold and I couldn't hear a heartbeat, so I set him aside on the freezer in the laundry room, intending to dispose of him later. Turns out, he wasn't dead after all and despite lying on the cold freezer in the cold laundry room for hours, he was moving slightly when DH went to dispose of him. I managed to bring him around and after a couple of hours, both he and the white one were well enough to go back out to the mother. I promised myself I wouldn't name the pups, but after what he went through, we had to call the brown one "Lazarus".

I checked on the new pups every two hours Wed. night and they were all fine all night long, so after a quick nap, I escaped to town for some much needed groceries. The two pups who'd had so much trouble the day before seemed a little "off" that evening, but after surviving one night, I thought they'd be okay so I opted for the first full night's sleep since Monday. This morning, (Friday) I awoke to two dead pups. Both the white one and Lazarus were gone.

I'm really starting to ask myself who I'm kidding here. I want the farm life as much as I want to keep on breathing, but I have to wonder if my tenacity isn't just plain selfish. Those pups are not the first animals to die here because I was spread too thin to stay on top of things. I've lost goats who were very special friends because of cold barns and poor feed. I lost the most special horse that ever lived because I was too caught up in my own battle with cancer to realize she was in trouble. Turned out she had a tumor in her throat. By the time we caught it, nothing could be done.

And here I am wanting to take on chickens and a garden? I'm not talking a 1000 bird laying operation and acres of market gardens, just 10 hens and a small plot to feed two people, but now I'm scared I'm wanting too much again. It broke my heart to sell the rabbits and the two remaining horses and it would be just as tough to get into chickens and start a garden then discover I have to give up again.

I know there are people out there managing a small farm by themselves. How the heck do you do it??? When I first found those dead puppies this morning, I seriously considered packing it all in, but I just can't do it. I need the farm and my dreams to give me a reason to keep on keeping on. Being a caregiver to a chronically ill person is terribly, terribly draining and hanging onto the dream is my way of looking after myself enough to face each day. There has to be a way to balance all the balls I'm juggling but I don't need the guilt of another wasted life on my hands.

I'm not feeling as bad as I was this morning, especially since later this morning, for the first time since 2 a.m. Wed. morning, I went out to the shed and didn't hear crying puppies as I approached the door. The remaining 7 pups were all sleeping or nursing quietly. I realize, too, that survival of the fittest was quite likely at work here. Those two pups were much smaller and may not have survived no matter what I did. It's just heartbreaking to work yourself to exhaustion and have nothing but tiny dead bodies to show for it.
 

justusnak

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Oh Sheri :hugs NEVER give up your dreams. I am so sorry for the loss of those pups, but as you stated...survival of the fittest...and they were probably not right to begin with. Its hard when you have so much going on...and you seem to...to try and get it all in a running order. As for getting the chickens...I would start with just a few hens, maybe 4 or 5. Just enough to get fresh eggs...and easy to care for. If you use a large enough feeder, and waterer, you will only need to change that out once a week or so....but check them every day for eggs and possible illness. When you do your garden, there are several ways to make it easier on yourself. You can layer newspaper around the plants to keep the weeds down, or use garden cloth. This will minimise your work in the garden. Dont be afraid to ask for help from friends, family, and neighbors! And...when you just need to vent...or talk, come back...we are all here as friends.
 

Quail_Antwerp

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I agree with justusnak.

I am sorry for the loss of the pups. Sometimes that is natures way of taking care of the ones that won't make it.

If you don't mind a little advice, if you decide to do a plan breeding later, I would suggest having puppy bottles and puppy milk replacer on hand. Sometimes if a dog has a large litter, not all of the pups get equal nursing time. Rotating the pups to nurse helps ensure that everyone gets fed. While the first few pups are nursing, bottle feed the others. Then, rotate them. Next feeding, the pups that were bottle fed get to nurse and you'll bottle feed the ones not nursing.

Good luck! No matter what, don't give up!
 

SheriM

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Quail_Antwerp said:
I agree with justusnak.

I am sorry for the loss of the pups. Sometimes that is natures way of taking care of the ones that won't make it.

If you don't mind a little advice, if you decide to do a plan breeding later, I would suggest having puppy bottles and puppy milk replacer on hand. Sometimes if a dog has a large litter, not all of the pups get equal nursing time. Rotating the pups to nurse helps ensure that everyone gets fed. While the first few pups are nursing, bottle feed the others. Then, rotate them. Next feeding, the pups that were bottle fed get to nurse and you'll bottle feed the ones not nursing.

Good luck! No matter what, don't give up!
Of course I don't mind some advice! One of the main reasons I joined this forum was to learn from people with more experience than I. Having puppy formula on hand is a very good idea and with good old 20/20 hindsight, I'm surprised I didn't think of it. I've always got goat replacer (or frozen milk) and colstrum on hand at kidding time. It makes sense to do the same thing for puppies. Thankfully, I won't be having any more pups for a long time now. I don't want them bred on back to back heats and absolutely refuse to breed them in winter again, so I won't have another litter till around June, 2010.
 

2dream

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SheriM - A belated welcome from me. I have not been around much lately. Taking a break from the forum and getting ready for planting, etc.

You do have your hands full but sounds like you are up to the job.
Just a little overwhelmed at times. We all get like that occasionally.

Chickens are really easy. (Well, except for those first few weeks in the brooder). Of course the brooder time is also the most fun. Watching them grow and play. As justusnak said. Large waters and feeders would make that an occasional chore. I use a 5 gal bucket with holes drilled in the sides at the bottom and a plastic flower pot tray screwed to the bottom of the bucket for a feeder. I fill mine every other day but then I am feeding 25 birds. It would last for a few birds for a long time.

As for the puppies, you seem to have a handle on that now. So try not to let that worry you. In all animal raising there will be loses. I don't mean to sound callous but its just the way it is. I try to just let nature take its course. I guess that thinking just comes from being a long time animal raiser and it helps me get past the occasional loss.

On the garden - have you considered container gardens for your first attempt? Or raised beds? Since I am not sure exactly what you are wanting to grow its hard to say if containers would work for you. Raised beds would be lots of work in the beginning but less work down the road on weed control. Containers are great for some things but won't work for others. Give us some idea on what you are wanting to grow and before you know it you will have more ideas than you have time to try. LOL
 
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