Spouse will not use a budget sytem

[emilie brown]

How do you convince your spouse to stick to a budget? My husband thinks he can spend money that we don't have. I give him $100 dollars a week and he still puts things on the debit card. I get so tired of trying to save, and he doesn't even want to try to save. I want to lower our cable bill. We pay $85 a month
but he can't bear to lose a few channels. I went back to work and started my own saving account and a I pay a credit card bill with that money. What else
can I do?

 

[Beekissed]

Separate bank accounts, separate credit cards, separate ownership to cars, etc. Then maintain your own cash flow, your own credit and your own vehicle as if you were not married...which, essentially, you are not if you are not of one accord on all things. Then separate the other bills into those he is responsible for and those you are responsible for and pay yours promptly. If his does not get paid, so be it. Lose the house? It's in his name, let it happen. Lose the cable because of non payment? It's in his name and he's the one that loses out, let it happen. Electric gets turned off because he doesn't pay it, so be it..can't watch TV without it.

Let it all fall down on his head and don't try to stop it. Some people only learn the hard way. Keep your credit clear of his and your car clear of being taken by the bank, your money to yourself, and you can still function...with or without him.

 

[chickenjoe]

Have him get involved in making the budget. Show him how much money both of you would have, if you take the money that is saved an invested it. If your in debt ask him how, show him the risk the debt carries. If something happens to one of you.

 

[Denim Deb]

Bee has the right idea.

 

[so lucky]

Be aware, though, that once you start getting your own credit, savings account, checking account, etc, that the gap between you only widens. At the same time, in my opinion, two people don't need to be of one accord on all things in order to call it a marriage. Maybe just on the important issues, like how to utilize money, and how to raise the kids, and where to live.

 

[k15n1]

marriage counseling. Dave Ramsey.

 

[baymule]

A big AMEN to what Bee said. I have dealt with people in various sales professions. I can't count how many people who screwed themselves and their spouses with irresponsible credit behavior. They couldn't finance ten dollars with twenty dollars down. SEPARATE YOUR CREDIT! My DH and I do not own any credit at all together. We also have separate bank accounts. It works for us. Both of us have excellent credit, but if we ever got in a position of having to "not pay all the bills" then one of us would have to be the sacrificial pig.

Another scenario, women whose husbands took care of all the bills and had all the credit.........Mr. George Somebody died and his widow came in to make a purchase. Mrs. George Somebody was deeply offended when her credit application was turned down. It seems that Mr. George Somebody took all his good credit with him when he died and now his poor wife can't finance ANYTHING.

In your situation, you have to look to your own good credit. Credit is a privilege. Take care of it and it will take care of you. Don't take care of it.......and life can be extremely hard. Keep your job. Pay your bills. Save your money. The credit card you are paying on-yours or his? Or, (shudder) both of yours? If in both your names, cancel it and set up separate accounts. Start making changes for your own sake.

 

[FarmerJamie]

wow, a lot of responses based on a minimum amount of information supplied by the OP.

Obviously a lack of communication is in place. That needs to fixed first. so lucky and k15n1 have it right, imho. Drastic action may escalate a situation that we don't know a darn thing about.

 

[emilie brown]

We have a credit card in both our names with a balance of $30,000. I have talked to him about our debit and how we need a budget.
I want to lower some bills, but he doesn't think we need to. Like the cable bill, he doesn't want to lose a few channels. He isn't in the best health
and I am afraid of getting stuck with that big credit card bill. That is why I went back to work. I work 6 days a week and only bring home $700
a month. I take $500 of that and pay the credit card bill.

 

[so lucky]

Seriously, it is time to drag that spouse to a marriage counselor. You need a knowledgeable 3rd person to look at this and help you find a solution you both can live with.