FF I especially liked your comments about how to 'help' your husband to be the leader....I guess that is where I need more help.
I am not sure that he realizes that he is to be the leader.....I think he may know but I guess we have never really discussed it.

how lame is that?
I bought the book The Power of a Praying Wife and it is wonderful! It has already helped me! In the intro to the book it talks about how we as women need to pray over our husbands in the same selfless way that we would pray over our children. Children are easy because we naturally always want what is best for them. With husbands, disagreements, hurt feelings and misunderstandings can harden our hearts which leads us to pray things like ' please change him!'. The author explains that for our prayers to be effective we need to confess this hardness in our hearts and ask God to change us first so that we may be ....better wives, better meet our husbands needs, understand how we impact our husbands etc......
I needed to talk to Hubby about our potential trip to Haiti last night and I knew that it was going to become a conflict. I prayed first for God to help me to phrase what I needed to say in a way that would not cause conflict, that I would have patience and tact......and guess what? I did and it went well although it does not look like we are going. Had I not prayed about it first and got my heart and my head in the right place, it would have gotten ugly. I think it is important that we go, but he is concerned about how much it will cost, and he is only willing to go if he does not have to pay, if we earn the money to go.
He is right of course, it is a lot of money for 5 of us to go. We did have a huge collapse a few years ago and have only been back on our feet since Sept. He just wants to save money not spend it. Although I do feel that this is an investment in our children, if we are not in agreement then I guess it is not Gods plan for us.
Anyway, any more suggestions on how to descretely let your Hubby know that he is the head our spiritual life?