Y'all made me cry this morning!
But in a good way!
You don't know how much you uplift me and edify me....I really needed to hear those stories and this support from godly people at this time in my life.
You see, I quit my job recently for ethical and spiritual reasons....and, for now, I don't intend to get another. Particularly not in the nursing field, unless, of course, God would lead me in that direction. Instead, I plan to take sanctuary at my mother's and write. Immerse myself in the Scriptures and write. Lose all the weight that has been hanging on over these years of caring for others, regain the health I've lost in the last 3 years and write.
I plan to write that book about our homesteading life when I was young, the things it and the strong women in my life taught me, how to not only survive low economic times but to actually change your attitude to one of thriving and succeeding at the skills it takes to live a frugal life and how to raise food for your family in a simple, cheap way. Last but not least, it will also tell how my journey in faith has grown along with my knowledge about life and how to survive it and how that faith, modeled first by the women before me, has made all the difference in how I handle situations that come my way. It will offer simple tips, creative solutions, a little bit of humor and a good dose of faith.
My desire and the thing of which I am praying is this: That this book be picked up by a publisher and that it be widely distributed, become a source of reference for those needing help and that it spin off into other book deals of the same and, most importantly, a ministry for me. I wish to travel around to churches and do talks on strong women of faith and courage in times of economic hardship and how those women can help themselves and each other.
I want to ask those churches to plant and grow food for their members who made be in need and for those in the community that surely are. I want them to help those women who are raising children by theirselves and ask the men to mentor those children, ask the churches to be more aware of the need in their own communities for this kind of closeness and fellowship in these hard times. I want the proceeds from the book(s) to support me financially in this ministry... I
do not want to have to solicit travel money from those churches.
In my heart I know that this is a lot to ask for and I know my God is powerful and can do anything, but I feel almost guilty to ask for so much. I know that this is a big request.
I so need a career change, a fresh wind in my heart and mind, and some way to make money without compromising my values and constantly receiving emotional and spiritual wounds every day. I'm so very tired of feeling desparately hurt for my patients, from my co-worker's lack of compassion and integrity, and from this profession of nursing.
I love nursing and nurturing others but who I have to work with when trying to do this has always been a source of sadness, frustration and misery. The number of nurses who show true compassion~ past their own laziness, self-serving interests, greed and apathy~ for their patients is very few....this I've found in all these 18 years past and I've never gotten used to it. I know that I never will and I can't seem to continue to work past it.
I need this change and I so want to succeed at this for so many reasons! Anyhoo...didn't mean to bore youin's to death this morning but I just felt led to tell you about this big thing sitting in the middle of my chest. You all have shown me so much support in my life these past few years and I feel strongly that you people understand more than most about struggles in life and in faith....you have no idea how important you have been to me!
