Venting Time!

[Wifezilla]

Is there an HR department or a supervisor? I would politely decline, but if it becomes and issue later, kick it upstairs. I used to work at a place with a couple of busy body wenches who were always coming up with stuff like this. First of all, MOST of us were too busy WORKING to plan social events while on the clock, and second, many of us did not have extra cash so getting asked for gift money, cake money, girl scout cookie orders, etc... ad nauseum... A few of us went to the owner and he put a stop to it all. If you needed to take a long lunch and then work late to hold an event? No problem. But don't spend company time planning parties. The only exception was the Christmas party, but we were slow then anyway.

 

[savingdogs]

I think if saying "I thought we decided not to do this?" isn't effective, I'd second what WZ said, to bring this up to management as something for an office meeting. And also, Marianne's ideas for making a friend who is truly special feel cared for are excellent ideas.

I worked at a place for two years where no one seemed to know when my birthday was, but we celebrated everyone elses. It kind of turned me off of birthday-at-work deals. On the third year when one of them discovered when my birthday was, I think she realized they had forgotten me twice and she bought me a cake all by herself despite not really knowing me all that well, real fancy one! I think that behind my back, she chewed them all out because everyone made a huge point of asking me about my birthday (it had been over the weekend that year). It was just an oversight but made me feel bad when I saw what they did for other people (this was my last, crappy job). I faulted the person in charge for not making everyone's birthday known. There is no reason why work places need to be turned into social hour for every holiday and occasion under the sun. I didn't care about a stupid cake, but did care about being left out. At that particular workplace there was no official policy about it and there should have been.

My favorite policy about this was the place I worked at which the employer's assistant bought a funny card and a simple cake, anyone who wished brought a pot luck snack for everyone, and no one was allowed to bring birthday gifts to work, just food. If someone was "popular", we all had more to eat. This took off the pressure and we all enjoyed each other's day and bonded and that was pretty good PR for a five dollar cake and a two dollar card investment. Course it is a little more now, but still. There were about 25 employees there, so there were just too many birthdays to try to share them all or buy gifts.

 

[so lucky]

When I was working in an office, the big irritant for me (well, one of the big irritants) was all those silly "inspirational" e-mails that one gal would send out to 10 of her best buddies, that would say "if you really are my friend you will send it back to me and 10 of your buddies." I NEVER sent them. I never even opened them, after I got wise to them. Some of them even came from supervisors, so I didn't think it would do any good to complain.

 

[aggieterpkatie]

Well this gal isn't a good enough friend (even a "work friend") to warrant me going out of my way to do anythign other than say, "Happy Birthday!". I think I might bring it up later, when it's not actually someone's birthday...just casually say that we had agreed to stop doing birthdays. Heck, we have about 2 or 3 potlucks per year, so it's not like we don't celebrate stuff.

You should see the cakes she brought back though. They were those Pepperidge Farm ones...theyr'e about 8" (maybe 10" at the most) square, 2 layers. She got about 5 of them! Who the hell is she feeding? An army?

 

[Denim Deb]

Well, if it's the chocolate one w/the chocolate icing, I could eat the whole thing.

 

[ohiofarmgirl]

i gave up on all that stuff also. if the company buys the cake i'm the first in line, but when they start coming around, nope. sorry. my favorite reply to after hours events was "they pay me to work with you and i'm not showing up for free."

as for the pass the envelope - i never did that either. mostly because the big ticket events were usually for baby showers - i'd never get a present for that kind of thing so i never contributed. i figure if they want to have their own shower they could do it on their time.

but i think i love the gal who gave $1.44. ha!

there is a lot of stress about money right now, aggieterpkatie, i bet a lot of folks would be grateful if you spoke up. they are probably thinking the same thing. hang in there baby!

 

[garden pixy]

I always opt out of that stuff and i make a point that I do not want a cake or gift for my birthday.

The last company I worked for was rather large (150 people in the location I worked at) so instead of individual birthdays we had a company funded 'snack and cake' once a month and announced all the birthdays, professional accomplishments, employment anniversaries and such while everyone had some cake, chips & veggies & dip. My husband works in an office with 5 people total, they just rotate out who is baking, so they can always celebrate without a ridiculous expense, no gifts just a homemade cake in the conference room during lunch. I'm ok with baking once or twice a year

I hate how my husband always used to get taken on that crap at his last company, he'd come home and say "I had to pay $10 for a retirement gift for 'Some-old-rich-engineer' so I didn't have lunch"

 

[~gd]

What used to get me was the party for the one that just got a new job OUTSIDE the company. If someone was promoted inside it didn't bother me, out of my original crew of 7 we produced 1 foreman 6 supervisors and 2 department mangers Yes I know that is more than 7 but you can be promoted more than once.

 

[Henrietta23]

Well, if it's the chocolate one w/the chocolate icing, I could eat the whole thing.

OMG, I could die for one of those! I can't remember the last time I ate one, but I'm pretty sure I couldn't wait for it to thaw and ate it still frozen!!!
One of the schools I work in is a bit like this. If they know it's someone's birthday someone will bring in goodies. They don't collect so it's not that. For me it is annoying because my birthday is in the middle of the summer and no one does anything for me! (Can you tell I was bitter about never getting cupcakes for my birthday in school??? NEVER!!!)
I think you handled it well and probably did what several others would have liked to do as well.

 

[curly_kate]

I'm a fan of the coconut ones. MMMMMM!!!!

At my work, we don't celebrate individual birthdays, but do celebrate our boss's birthday! I work at a branch office, so I generally miss out on the weirdness, but was up there this year when someone was collecting money for a PRESENT for our BOSS. What I thought was strange was that no one else thought how weird that was! I can totally see a card, but to buy your boss a birthday present just seems like obvious brown-nosing. I mean, the only people who even buy me a birthday present any more are my parents, and that's just because I can't convince them to stop!

But maybe I'm just overreacting.

Oh, and so lucky, my dad used to be a department supervisor, and would get lots of forwards from the ladies in his department for some unknown reason. His solution: if the email said send to 10 of your friends, he used to send it right back to them 10 times. He quickly got a lot less forwards!