framing fowl said:
Wannabefree said:
Found out what has been bugging her. Kids have been making fun of her at school. Whoopity Dooooo! Kids make fun of ya=make parents lives a living hell for the weekend and destroy something. Makes. perfect. sense.
Her reaction is uncalled for but kids making fun of kids is not necessarily whoopity doooo in my book. It can leave a huge mark. Are they making fun of her because her clothes aren't brand name? Is her hair and makeup or lack of not "in". Does she bring it on herself by being insecure and thus an easy target? Does she dish it out and can't take it when they dish back? Does she go to a small high scool -which only makes the problems worse because there is no getting away from each other?
If you can figure out why they're making fun of her, it might help. Not that she needs name brand clothes to impress people but maybe a little boost of self -esteem might be in order. Maybe some makeup lessons or maybe she is just bringing it upon herself. I don't know. Some people are able to just shake teasing off and it doesn't bother them but it does wound some people quite deeply. It sounds like she was quite upset over how lightly you were taking something that was a big deal to her.
I'm not a mom, but I was a teenage girl once.
I say whoopity doo (HERE, not to her) because she has always gotten made fun of a little and now suddenly she is SOOOOO sensitive. She is constantly angry. No, her clothes aren't name brand, and will not be as long as she lives here, she wears no makeup because we don't allow that yet, she's only 14. My baby is a know it all and speaks her mind. I have a very strong feeling the kids are picking on her appearance because she is getting on their nerves. She's too smart for her own good and doesn't know how to temper it. She doesn't understand when to shut it. She has never been one that cared much what others thought of her, and her outwardness about her opinions shows that. She will argue her point with a CROWD of folks who believe exactly the opposite, and never bat an eyelash. I don't think she has a self esteem/confidence issue, I think she doesn't realize where the negativity is stemming from.
Icu4dzs, I agree. This is a step child, and acts just like her bio mother, who when she used to get mad, would throw things into the wall, slam things around, scream, and display all kinds of physical aggression. Unfortunately this child has always been like this, and lacks self control in a lot of circumstances. She learned it early on. I think too she holds onto a lot of that as being okay because it is all she remembers of her mother. She was 4 when she left, and hasn't seen her since, and I often wonder what that has done to this child. She used to call DD and DD would get irate and aggressive for a week or longer after the phone calls, thus older DD's black eye when she was 10. The inlaws were very permissive about her behavior, but I reinforced that it was not okay, but it still happens. :/ Mixed messages
Older DD rarely had meltdowns, rarely cried, NEVER broke things as retaliation for getting into trouble. Both had the same bio mother/step mom, one just acts more like the bio mother. It's not always nurture. I don't act like that. It took me 45 minutes to hand down punishment last night because I had to cool off first. I sat here and vented with words...to strangers
I don't get it, the child has been outwardly angry for two days over something that never bothered her before *sigh*
Just keep on like you are. This is not acceptable. In her calmer moments keep working on appropriate expressions. Pointless to do that during a meltdown! LOL
I have no experience dealing with that kind of brain cooties, and am not sure I am cut out for it 
