Wannabefree...guess what I got in the mail today!?!?!?!?

[Wannabefree]

Okay sounds like I may be useful here........

Having a teenage mind myself, I may be able to help decipher.

Okay I have one question when you first found out you may be able to get the kids. Did you and DH set down and talk about it with her?

yep. We always let her in on big decisions.

 

[Denim Deb]

Any chance she could be bi-polar?

 

[Neko-chan]

I'm inclined to agree with Windyhillfarms. Some things just aren't open for discussion. As my parents have told me more than once when I tried to buck: "If you don't like it, get the hell out." You just have to be tough about it. If you have to play dirty, do it (it's not like your DD is going to hold back in that regard, is it?). You are the parent, after all. Get your husband on it too. He can't slack out of parenting his daughter.

 

[Wannabefree]

Any chance she could be bi-polar?

Her mother is. So in short, yes, it IS a possibility, and I am claiming complete denial at least for now. She's a teen anyway, aren't they ALL bipolar? Seriously, I am hoping it is simple growing pains. It's really too early to tell, but it does run in her family.

 

[Wannabefree]

Neko, no she doesn't hold back anything, but she's 14, I'm not. I want to figure a way around just grounding her into oblivion. She has problems, and she is a flamin hard headed jerk some days, but she is my flamin hard headed jerk and I want her to be better than that. I don't think threatening to put her out, or even doing it will help anything. If I did that, it would cement in her little pea brain that the women in her life either A) ALWAYS bow down if they love her(the grandma) or B) leave her. I don't want her to get the idea that love is about control or only ever getting her own way. It's just not healthy. And I have to turn this kid loose on the world some day...I'd like for her to be somewhat civilized at that point

 

[BarredBuff]

Okay sounds like I may be useful here........

Having a teenage mind myself, I may be able to help decipher.

Okay I have one question when you first found out you may be able to get the kids. Did you and DH set down and talk about it with her?

yep. We always let her in on big decisions.

 

[Wannabefree]

Jamester that was a HUGE help buddy.

 

[Neko-chan]

Neko, no she doesn't hold back anything, but she's 14, I'm not. I want to figure a way around just grounding her into oblivion. She has problems, and she is a flamin hard headed jerk some days, but she is my flamin hard headed jerk and I want her to be better than that. I don't think threatening to put her out, or even doing it will help anything. If I did that, it would cement in her little pea brain that the women in her life either A) ALWAYS bow down if they love her(the grandma) or B) leave her. I don't want her to get the idea that love is about control or only ever getting her own way. It's just not healthy. And I have to turn this kid loose on the world some day...I'd like for her to be somewhat civilized at that point

Maybe it's just me then, lol. I backed down when I was told to either suck it up or get out, or when my behavior was compared to someone younger than me ("Your cousin is half your age and she's better behaved than you are" kind of thing.) However, I've also got a more blunt, practical streak than most (with a bit of pride thrown in), so perhaps I just gave up my outright rebellions as lost causes and found other, quieter ways to resist. I also grew up in a tough love kind of family, so I may have slightly harsher solutions to behavior problems in mind than others.

But mostly, I would tell her that it's not all about her. She'll have to get over it somehow. It's up to her whether she wants to go to war every morning (that gets tiring very quickly). You don't have to listen to her tantrums (and yes, tell her that outright: "Your tantrums are shameful. We raised you better than this.")

Tough love kid. Get used to it.

 

[Wannabefree]

Yeah I would have been one to shut up and take it too...or actually I would have likely enjoyed more kids over all the time She's just being a beast, but her past makes her harder to deal with. I don't want to burn any bridges I don't have to with this one. I really think she will be leaving early of her own accord, because she is just so darn head strong and self centered. I want her to have the necessary tools to get along well when she decides it is time if that makes any sense She's definately a butthead though Very difficult to teach...specially since she knows everything already

 

[BarredBuff]

Jamester that was a HUGE help buddy.

Thought it would be

IDK I may be a teen but not teenage girl..........