Your Parents.....and....

[Damummis]

Wow!!!

This has made me think some. I will have to get back to you on this. How do I even start? Parents, huh? This feels like what I would suppose therapy feels like.

goes off to think how to put this in words

 

[snapshot]

Organic Kale--I swore the same thing! Out of six kids, none of us have children! Not inner city poor, we were country poor with alcohol, etc thrown in.

 

[Marianne]

I'm the youngest of three girls, Dad from the south, Mom from the north. Grew up in a very strict household in the burbs of Denver, Co.

Folks had a garden and some fruit trees. I have a different life now. 'Nuff said.

 

[Leta]

I have a brother, he's almost four years younger than me. DH and I are both from southern rural Michigan.

My mom's side: My grandparents were both Detroiters. My grandfather was a Korean war vet, came home and got his machinist's degree on the GI bill. My mom had asthma as a kid, bad. The docs told them to move to AZ, but they moved to the Irish Hills instead, hoping the clean air would help. They had a pie shaped piece of property that was, I think, 4 acres. The neighbors had horses and goats. My grandmother never drove, so she put in a giant vegetable garden and bought eggs and milk (shhh!!) from the folks just up the road. They put up tons of food every year, and went shopping very infrequently.

My dad's side: He grew up in a farmhouse that his grandpa owned. He spent every summer at his great grandparents, the Lamleys. They worked their farm right up until they died. My dad (born in '56) can remember when they got electricity. My dad remembers selling onions and tomatoes at Detroit Eastern Market, his grandmother braiding rugs and dying them with beets, his grandfather planting by the cycles of the moon.

I married a farm boy, and moved to the U.P. We are in the process right now of trying to buy a tiny house on 24 acres, and rent out our big house in town (don't ask why we bought it in the first place, it's the longest story ever). My parents think we are a little nuts, but not too much. They get it, at least in part. I mean, who cares if the house is tiny- it has a barn, and a garage! And a wood lot, so free heat! And fruit trees! Two hayfields! It's not the choice they would make, but they are fairly understanding.

(Interesting aside: my maternal grandpa spent some time on a farm as a foster kid, so he and my dad both had sheep. They used to talk about it a lot. I want sheep sooo baabaaaad.)

My brother gets it, and even jokes about wanting to be a subsistence farmer, but he is very attached to his city life, and I understand this to a great extent. I keep begging him to move here, though. He's awesome, and one of the few people from home I miss every day.

Don't get me talking more about my grandpas, they were super interesting, I'd go on forever!

 

[AnnaRaven]

Oh. My.
Okay...
Mom grew up in a farm family. Grandparents (mother's side) lived on 40 acres. I loved visiting them when I was a child. Would spend all my time out in the woods, alone, usually up a tree. Except when I was helping Grandma collect the eggs or ride on the tractor with Grandpa. Their pantry was always stocked. I got a taste for canned beef from Grandma sending home jars for us. We would go every autumn to help out at the annual chicken slaughter - us kids would pick up the chickens after they were done running around with their heads chopped off. The family also would get together and can pickles.

We lived in the city - right across the street from the freeway. Old lady living across the alley had a subscription to the Rodale's magazines - Prevention maybe? She was big on garlic, molasses, growing a garden, and being self-sufficient. I spent as much time there as possible. When I was 13, we moved to a suburb and mom put in a garden and I got to taste fresh peas - loved em. Dad and the male relatives would go hunting (deer and duck mostly) every autumn.

Mostly, I spent my time reading and avoiding the adoptive family. Mom was pretty psycho and Dad worked sunrise to sunset and was typical scandihoovian distant father. Grandpa - let's just say I understand why mom was psycho. Grandma was the one I felt sorry for but that came later. Adoptive brother was really into outdoors and should have become a park ranger, but the folks talked him out of it. I think, last I heard from him, that he's a garbage man. I joined the Army to get the hell out when I graduated highschool. Best decision I ever made.

What I've learned about actually doing canning, knitting, gardening, even shooting, is stuff I've learned on my own.

 

[FarmerChick]

This is just so interesting to read.




Mom is my best friend. We get along great! She is 83 now and going strong and not on one bit of medication or anything. Mom has a phobia of pills LOL She is a 'fix herself' best she can type person. Grew up in Pennsylvania on a farm. Her Dad was a coal miner and died fairly young with black lung. Her Mom was a store owner. Owned a small grocery and that 'kinda' made them OK thru the depression. Mom said they didn't have it as hard as alot of folks in their town. The lived the usual way. Gardening and eating their own chickens etc. Mom had 5 sisters and one brother. All but 2 are dead. Mom is the oldest. She got 'stuck' taking care of her younger sisters but she was lucky cause she enjoyed it. My Mom loves kids. BUT as soon as she was 18 she left for Washington DC to run from the little town life. She wanted more. She was secretary to a Navy Admiral where eventually she met Dad who was a Marine. Got married and lived the good life. Mom never planted a garden while we grew up (well a few maters lol), never touched dirt again. She said farming was done for her. You live way to hard. Mom takes advantage of every convenience available in life to live good. I must say, I truly like my Mom as a person. Very easy going, rarely yells, did a great job with us kids.

Dad is a worker and was very successful. He also grew up on a farm in New Jersey. He would tell us about the struggles thru the depression and rationing and all that.....and funny to hear stories like, well, the tv wasn't invented then when I was a kid LOL. He had to walk uphill both ways in snow to get to school! His job was the draft horses and he did not like them. Being a little kid those horses were massive and to this day he is not an animal lover. At age 16 he lied about his age and joined the Marines. He could not wait to run from that life also. Marines taught him data processing. He ended up being President of some big food corps in the North. He waited until I graduated High School before moving to take a bigger job. Dad is really smart on financial situations and such. Me and him played the stock market with my hard earned money and he got me a big profit where I was able to move to NC with them when they retired and I bought my house and land in cash. Dad always says, you don't owe big money in life you live great! My Dad still works for me. He never stops. He sells my soaps at the market to have something to do now and he is 82. Not on one pill either and just is the type that HAS to stay active.

I have 2 brothers. We are best friends. All 3 of us get along wonderful and I know in life that if anything goes wrong in any way...they are there! I love having security in these hard times of good family. My oldest bro is still working and deciding when he wants to retire. He is a head guy at a computer company. My other bro retired at age 45. He worked in computers in NYC. He would commute and did very well and worked very hard. They moved to NC about 5 years ago when he wanted to retire. They are about 1 1/2 hrs from us and we see them at mom and dads to get together and swim and goof. My other bro drives down a few times a year to party up with us.



In general I have a great family. Tight. I know how lucky I was to have 2 hardworking and stable parents. We lived good, had tons of fun, and worked very hard also.

How I grew up is how I am handling Nicole. She will be secure as to the best of my ability in this lifetime.


Now, Tony's parents are great people also. True dirt farmers, downto earth and nice and normal...but don't get me started on the rest of his family LOL
I have to say I haven't seen so many slackers in my life in one area HA HA

 

[yourbadd]

It's been interesting to read everyone's stories and see how decisions and circumstances have shaped us all!!

My story...

Youngest of three children. My mom had my sister while still in high school and bounced from man to man for a few years before deciding that my Dad (24 years her senior) was "the one". Snort!! Lasted long enough to produce my older brother and I, who are not quite two years apart. Mom was 6th of 10 children raised on a dairy farm. Suffered some type of incest in her past....no one know details. She's a head trip and eats anti-depressants and pain killers like Pez. Motto of her life, "If it feels good...do it. "

Dad was and still is a first class liar and BSer!! He tells the MOST outlandish stories and claims to have Master degrees in no less than 3 areas. He came from a very dysfunctional family. His dad was a whore and had several children that no one knew about until years later. Largely ignored his kids and wife. His mother coddled him and created a severely insecure monster!! After my folks divorced he would play mind games with us kids telling us to hurt our stepdad. We have an okay relationship now....as long as I ignore the words that come from his mouth!! I'll give him this...at 83 years old he lives alone, works almost everyday and is still sharp as a tack!!

Meanwhile, dear ol' Mom had moved on to Dad's boss. Stepdad is 22 year her senior and had 5 adult (or almost adult) children from his 1st wife. For the 10 years they were married it was wonderful! SD is an amazing father and grandfather. He has the best work ethic and us kids never wanted for anything. I regard him as my Dad since he raised me from the age of 4. He had to sell the family house after my lazy sister bled him dry. She mooched off him, racked up debt in his name and used her kids as leverage to get him to support her. He is in poor health and lives in a retirement community.

When they split due to Mom's philandering(with my sister's 21 yr old friend) things went south quickly. I was a sophomore in high school and my brother and I lived in our family home alone. Mom was shacking up with a new, cocaine addicted gambler. My brother and I worked and went to school and PARTIED!! Mom lovingly showed up once a week to pay bills and go on alcohol runs for us. My brother and I are close. He protected me from morons and made sure I NEVER dated in high school!!

My older sister has been a trouble maker from day one. She began running away at the age of 12. Drug by then too. She got herself thrown in a juvie center in a large town 2 hours away from where we lived and we ended up having to move there. We had been living in a small rural area. Sister is 8 yrs older, has 2 kids. Oldest is 21 and mental retarded due to her drug use while preggo, younger son is 19 and currently serving a few months in jail in WV. She recently married a firefighter(she's his 5th wife) and now thinks she's a saint. I thank every holy being that she lives 2 hours away!!!

Brother is very odd but awesome. He and his girlfriend (11 yrs younger) just bought a house and are talking kids. My mom lives with them since she can't support herself. It works for them. I love my brother and his girlfriend whom we call the "other sister".

I love my in-laws probably a little more than my own folks. They are very spirit filled Christians and helped me as I became a Christian. My MIL is the MOST powerful prayer warrior I have ever met. They just moved to Florida

I have been married 13 years and have been with my hubby for 16. We met when I was 19. Have 3 of the most amazing kids and are trying to learn the ways of the force, I mean the SS lifestyle and raise our kids in a stable, Christian home.

 

[Leta]

and are trying to learn the ways of the force, I mean the SS lifestyle

ROFLMAO

 

[Beekissed]

After reading some of the stories here, it strikes me that many of us have similar backgrounds of abuse, addiction, and just plain dysfunctional families. Do you all think this has something to do with why we are now striving for common sense type living that doesn't involve living by the seat of one's pants, roller coaster rides at the emotional amusement park, and closer relationships with our own small family units?

 

[LovinLife]

After reading some of the stories here, it strikes me that many of us have similar backgrounds of abuse, addiction, and just plain dysfunctional families. Do you all think this has something to do with why we are now striving for common sense type living that doesn't involve living by the seat of one's pants, roller coaster rides at the emotional amusement park, and closer relationships with our own small family units?

I think you couldn't be more RIGHT! It's nice to run deep roots and raise kids who know where they can always come back to!