Anyone else 'going at it alone'?

[Lazy Gardener]

FEM, horrid circumstances. I'm sure it exists far more than any of us are aware. I firmly believe that every woman should place herself in a position to be able to financially take care of herself and any children BEFORE becoming a mother. Domestic violence is not something that any one should ever put up with. And, even in the ideal marriages, where husband and wife are firmly committed to each other, and living marriage as God intended... stuff happens. Many women are NOT able to take care of their financial needs. I faced the very real possibility of becoming a widow when my kids were 12 and 14 years old. Chances of DH surviving his illness were less than 10%, and at that, there was a very real possibility that he would never work again. God's timing, healing, and grace saw us through that time. I was 2 weeks away from graduating with an AAS in Physical Therapy. And I was able to extend my last clinical to be able to complete the program. But, without that education, and if the outcome had been different for my hubby, there is no way I could have made it on my own.

 

[FarmerJamie]

If the next chapter of my life includes some property, I will probably be doing it alone due to the wife's situation. I did most of it alone in my first marriage, for different reasons, so it doesn't bother me.

Just need to remember my limitations

 

[sumi]

She never gave me details - but her kids talked to mine so I knew what was going on. The most she ever said was that she couldn't leave her kids at home if she was going somewhere. I never understood how she could look at him much less stay married to him, but she was/is a very meek woman who had a bunch of children and no source of her own income.

Often woman (and men) get so used to being in an abusive, or otherwise unhealthy relationship, they lack the will and strength to get out. Or like this woman, doesn't have an income, so she stays put. Who knows what else was going on behind those doors.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Who knows what else was going on behind those doors.

I agree! It was not a good situation all the way around.

 

[Britesea]

The world is full of odd pairings, and those of us on the outside have no way of knowing why they exist. There's an acquaintance of mine that got a divorce because she couldn't take the philandering.... but they are still living in the same house 10 years later. Go figure.

 

[sumi]

The world is full of odd pairings, and those of us on the outside have no way of knowing why they exist. There's an acquaintance of mine that got a divorce because she couldn't take the philandering.... but they are still living in the same house 10 years later. Go figure.

About 18 years ago I went to visit a friend and stayed for a few days. One night we were invited to a friend of his' house for dinner. We arrived and the friend proudly introduced me to "This is my EX-wife <insert name>" With emphasis on the EX. She was living with him and their daughter. Lovely woman she was too, I really liked her.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

I've seen that happen too....not sure how they pulled it off. I wanted to dig my ex's eyeballs out with my bare fingers most of the time, lol! (and most of the time he deserved it!)

 

[moxies_chickennuggets]

I am looking into co-housing. Not much on that to be found in SC though. It would involve buying a property, I am thinking.

 

[Mini Horses]

Do you refer to this "co-housing" as one where a community has persons of like interests within a certain space? There are few in NC where you buy a parcel, build and then a "common" area has pasture, barns, greenhouses, meeting lodge and some even have rentable quest housing -- The idea is that you have "your own" land and then can use the common areas, even have help with things...feeding animals if gone, etc. A group dinner, group canning sessions, etc.

Personally, I'd be thrilled with a few neighbors willing to interact in that way. Group sharing of certain work, equipment, etc. I have a couple friends who will help feed, etc. (& my DD) but, so many are single and garden to the extent of one or two tomato plants. One or two even have a couple chickens, like 2-3 In my neighborhood, they will help if emergency & you ask but, most are not "into" any homesteading. Five do have a riding horse or two, and two of them also have teens for that ride.

 

[moxies_chickennuggets]

Anything this is people sharing living spaces with others. Not the 60's commune type though. It would be nice to have a living situation where we share meals, property upkeep, maybe gardens and small animals. Neighbors who would look out for each other.