Abifae - Ciao Babies!

[abifae]

FF, I know.

KC.... *sighs* Yeh. It'll be interesting and glad I just get to hear the gossip third party. I won't be involved in it in any way!!!

FJ - YUUUUM!

SD - yeppers. I told my mom not to adopt her because they had cats already. An already pooping kitty does NOT do well in a house with established cats. Or, I've never seen it happen!

LOL Colo. Agreed. I have great FAMILY. My relatives... hmmm... Well, let's just say that I am utterly fascinated that sociopathy is apparently a dominant gene

ETA for auntie:

The four horsemen are traditionally named War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death. However, the Bible actually only names one: Death. An alternate interpretation, likely based on differing translations, holds the first Horseman to represent War and/or the Antichrist, the second to represent Pestilence (sometimes called Plague), while the third and fourth riders remain Famine and Death, respectively.

 

[savingdogs]

You might suggest to your mom that she try that cat litter called Cat Attract. I am not sure how it is treated, but occasionally you will see a cat that improves with using it from their out of litterbox experiences. They like to use it in rescue in the multiple cat homes. My cats personally did not take to it, but it was worth a try. It is expensive litter but out of litter box experiences can be quite expensive as well. Don't ask me how I know.

 

[abifae]

Well, cat is already sent away. Honestly, if there is any "bad" here, it was them agreeing to take in a difficult cat.

Pudding definitely likes that I use the anti enzyme spray every other week when I clean out the boxes.

 

[abifae]

*beams* I was helpful. Someone on my autistic group was going on, AGAIN, about empathy.

So I wrote how to do it:

I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like NTs have empathy either. They
cannot put themselves in someone else's shoes. Otherwise, why do they have so
much trouble understanding how it might be to be autistic?

They don't have empathy. They have the socially accepted phrases. If you just
memorize those same phrases, they all think you have empathy as well. I learned
this on my job.

Empathy, in reality, is creating a "them" so that you can join together as an
"us" and have a common enemy. It is simple animalism.

The appropriate phrases are "I understand why you feel that way, I did too when
*invent a similar circumstance*"... "Yes, it's easy to feel bad when *common
enemy* treats you this way"....

The goal is to point out the "them" while insinuating you are the "us" and so is
whoever you are talking to and "empathizing" with.

Hopefully this will clear up the obvious confusion autistics have about empathy.
It is not some magic feeling they are capable of that you are not. It is a
social game you simply didn't learn the rules to.

Abi

 

[colowyo0809]

*beams* I was helpful. Someone on my autistic group was going on, AGAIN, about empathy.

So I wrote how to do it:

I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like NTs have empathy either. They
cannot put themselves in someone else's shoes. Otherwise, why do they have so
much trouble understanding how it might be to be autistic?

They don't have empathy. They have the socially accepted phrases. If you just
memorize those same phrases, they all think you have empathy as well. I learned
this on my job.

Empathy, in reality, is creating a "them" so that you can join together as an
"us" and have a common enemy. It is simple animalism.

The appropriate phrases are "I understand why you feel that way, I did too when
*invent a similar circumstance*"... "Yes, it's easy to feel bad when *common
enemy* treats you this way"....

The goal is to point out the "them" while insinuating you are the "us" and so is
whoever you are talking to and "empathizing" with.

Hopefully this will clear up the obvious confusion autistics have about empathy.
It is not some magic feeling they are capable of that you are not. It is a
social game you simply didn't learn the rules to.

Abi

Thats a pretty good explanation and works, to a point it doesn't, however, cover the rare person who is actually empatathetic, meaning someone who actually feels the emotions of another person. gotta tell you, it's not pleasant until you learn how to block out the extra emotions. but on figuring out how to work around the "empathy" block thing

 

[abifae]

Thats a pretty good explanation and works, to a point it doesn't, however, cover the rare person who is actually empatathetic, meaning someone who actually feels the emotions of another person. gotta tell you, it's not pleasant until you learn how to block out the extra emotions. but on figuring out how to work around the "empathy" block thing

As in "an empath". That's an entirely other concept and not at all what people mean by empathy in the social sense. That's more along the lines of psychic ability and path reading. So I wasn't worried about going there.

I can tell what a person really IS feeling by their scent. But that also has nothing to do with social empathy and, in fact, usually messes it up because it's all about knowing the right lie based on what that person tells you they are feeling not by what they really feel.

You have to go into it knowing it's all a farce and a game or it doesn't work.

 

[Britesea]

Thats a pretty good explanation and works, to a point it doesn't, however, cover the rare person who is actually empatathetic, meaning someone who actually feels the emotions of another person. gotta tell you, it's not pleasant until you learn how to block out the extra emotions. but on figuring out how to work around the "empathy" block thing

My husband says that being in a crowd is like "being beaten to death with feathers" He can't go to a mall or anyplace like that unless I am with him. Apparently my ability to block and ground energy helps him. At least this is what he says-- If I am blocking and grounding energy, it's purely unconcious.

 

[colowyo0809]

Thats a pretty good explanation and works, to a point it doesn't, however, cover the rare person who is actually empatathetic, meaning someone who actually feels the emotions of another person. gotta tell you, it's not pleasant until you learn how to block out the extra emotions. but on figuring out how to work around the "empathy" block thing

My husband says that being in a crowd is like "being beaten to death with feathers" He can't go to a mall or anyplace like that unless I am with him. Apparently my ability to block and ground energy helps him. At least this is what he says-- If I am blocking and grounding energy, it's purely unconcious.

This is why I try not to go to places like walmart and kings soopers without SO. He doesn't really ground the way you do but he distracts me enough that I can block everything else out, unless it's really really crowded. He is somewhat empathetic himself, but it's all as a sender, not as a receiver. Sounds like the two of you made a good match, your more naturally grounded and it helps him with his natural abilities.

 

[Farmfresh]

Preach it sister!

I think very few people are really empathic in the empath sense of the word. Socially it is all about rules and games. Some people can play well and others seem to just fumble every time a "ball" comes their way. Simple practice and rote memorization of those rules and phrases helps tremendously.

 

[abifae]

I am frighteningly good at it. Now that I've learned to manipulate my customers through tonal games and how to create an "us" feeling with them.