keljonma
Epicurean Goddess
Well said, QA...
Aidenbaby's Anti-Suburban Sprawl
- Thread starter Aidenbaby
- Start date
Quail_Antwerp
Cold is on the Right, Hot is on The Left
Aiden, I wanted to apologize for hijacking your journal! I'll try not to do it again!
And Bee, I hope I didn't offend you! That wasn't my intentions at all!
And Bee, I hope I didn't offend you! That wasn't my intentions at all!
TanksHill
Super Self-Sufficient
Holly cow, 11 bls of fruit and veggies per day. I can see how they would stay full. Carb and sugar are my downfall as well. 
- Thread starter
- #64
Aidenbaby
Lovin' The Homestead
Quail, no need for apologies. Someone else mentioned (I think it was Bee) that they liked how several of the journals read like front porch conversations. I agree with this. During my teen years I grew up in a very nice middle class neighborhood in the city. It wasn't normal as in that neighbors would visit with each other, sit out on the front porch and chat. We even had crazy things like block parties! I miss terribly those experiences. I want to live in a neighborhood where people care more about each other than gossiping about their next door neighbor and insulting them behind their backs. I have one neighbor in particular that takes delight (or so it seems) in insulting everyone so that she feels better about herself. She is also the one whose child has every latest gadget (he's 4 or 5), whose yard is "perfect" (I'm scared to let my children play on their grass) and is seemingly spending great gobs of money to keep up her percieved image. She is one of those queen bee types. Her husband is a nice fellow and is the only reason my son has ever played with her son. She will actually call her son inside if my son comes out to play. But I digress, here I am doing the exact same thing I criticise her for. I choose to be better in spirit than that ugliness.
Tanks, I'm hearing you. I was thinking about using that because every time I turn around my kids are saying their hungry. Yet, if I make them something like dinner, they don't eat.
It drives me insane.
My dad is bringing over a new dining set today. Mitch said that my dad said that it is better than what we've been using and will probably work better for us. Yeah for free stuff!
Since our latest arguments (the ones I posted about), Mitch seems to have thrown himself more whole heartedly into being more SS. I'm talking about fixing things around the house (installed our new, old dryer; filled in a whole made by a defunct water spout and resolved the problem; doing more daily household chores; making an attempt to feel affection towards the chickens). We've also talked about one of our larger debate (not arguments) which is when we want to have our next child. We've preplanned both of our children. He kept saying 5 years from now and I kept reminding him that I don't want to give birth to any children past 35 (I'm turning 31 in a week) due to the increased risk for Downs Syndrome and many other genetic issues. I have an cousin with Downs Syndrome and his twin sister also developed learning issues. So, we compromised and decided to have my IUD removed now. We aren't going to actively try for a baby but if it happens, it happens and we will be thrilled about it. I HATE the IUD now so this will hopefully this will also take out some of the problems I've been having with it (medically and philosophically).
Tanks, I'm hearing you. I was thinking about using that because every time I turn around my kids are saying their hungry. Yet, if I make them something like dinner, they don't eat.
It drives me insane.My dad is bringing over a new dining set today. Mitch said that my dad said that it is better than what we've been using and will probably work better for us. Yeah for free stuff!
Since our latest arguments (the ones I posted about), Mitch seems to have thrown himself more whole heartedly into being more SS. I'm talking about fixing things around the house (installed our new, old dryer; filled in a whole made by a defunct water spout and resolved the problem; doing more daily household chores; making an attempt to feel affection towards the chickens). We've also talked about one of our larger debate (not arguments) which is when we want to have our next child. We've preplanned both of our children. He kept saying 5 years from now and I kept reminding him that I don't want to give birth to any children past 35 (I'm turning 31 in a week) due to the increased risk for Downs Syndrome and many other genetic issues. I have an cousin with Downs Syndrome and his twin sister also developed learning issues. So, we compromised and decided to have my IUD removed now. We aren't going to actively try for a baby but if it happens, it happens and we will be thrilled about it. I HATE the IUD now so this will hopefully this will also take out some of the problems I've been having with it (medically and philosophically).
- Thread starter
- #65
Aidenbaby
Lovin' The Homestead
I got the kids to move large rocks for me. 
They thought it was great fun and we used them to border the soon to be beds. They were rewarded heavily with 3 chocolate chip cookies (made yesterday) and milk. I thought it was a decent reward and so did they.
List of things to do:
Start transplanting more of the seedlings I've been growing - DONE!
Finish moving the tenting on the gazebo - DONE!
More work with the rototiller - DONE!
They thought it was great fun and we used them to border the soon to be beds. They were rewarded heavily with 3 chocolate chip cookies (made yesterday) and milk. I thought it was a decent reward and so did they. List of things to do:
Start transplanting more of the seedlings I've been growing - DONE!
Finish moving the tenting on the gazebo - DONE!
More work with the rototiller - DONE!
Beekissed
Mountain Sage
Aly, I am the youngest of nine children, 8 of which hate my ever-living guts and a father that has hated me since birth! I am beyond offense at this point!Quail_Antwerp said:
Any feelings that I may have had to hurt have formed callouses long years ago......no offending can be done now, I'm afraid! No worries, mate!
Wish I had a marriage like yours, though!
- Thread starter
- #67
Aidenbaby
Lovin' The Homestead
Who needs a rooster? I have one that wakes me EVERY morning around 7:00 am regardless of how late he stays up. The instant he's awake out comes this horrendously loud SQUAAAKKKK!!! I can hear it through his bedroom door, down the hall, across the living room and through my bedroom door. Yes, it is my son I'm talking about. He actually crows every morning. In fact the more I think about it, the more I realize just how much he has in common with a rooster. He "crows" all day for long periods. He fights me whenever I want him to do... anything. He sends me to a whole new plane of irritation when I want to get any work done by following me and just generally getting in the way. I can not, however, eat him fried, roasted, baked, grilled or any other fashion. What do you do with a wild, loud, naughty rooster when you can't eat it?
My daughter, on the other hand, is learning to test the boundaries. I'm working on a full bore mutiny in my household. Her favorite things to do to test the full extent of my temper are to go into my feminine pads and remove the outer wrapping and the paper from all the sticky pads thereby rendering them unusable, standing on our new dining table because now she can climb up on it easier and, finally, turning into a veritable tattletale, drama queen. She likes to tattletale on her brother when he's done nothing to her at all even. If you tell her NO in any form (and we have many, many times), she will believe that the entire world will melt with the sorrow in her heart. Generally, this leads to a stint in CRIB KNOX though. Crib Knox is what I call the pack and play that is in her room. I used it previously on daycare children and at the moment, it is my naughty toddler detention center where they do "hard" time (stay until their meltdown is over). If I weren't so callous as to put her there, she would follow me room to room with her bullhorn mouth wailing about how I did her wrong by not letting her play with iron, sharp knives or whatever dangerous object I've removed from her person. She likes to help unload the dishwasher but hasn't grasped that the dishes need to stay in the kitchen.
All in all, I love and adore my kids. Most likely the reason they drive me crazy is that I feel like a bumbling mother that has no direction in where to take the discipline even though I'm pretty sure that I've studied almost every child-rearing book on the market. I've thought about contacting the Supernanny show so that she could proe to me that her blasted time outs DO work on children that literally sit there laughing. I'm not particularly fond of spanking my children with hand or any object as I am battling a cycle of disciplinary abuse. My dad was a different father than he is today and tended to hit before he found out all the facts. These days, he is a remarkably patient man and is actually even the principal of an elementary school. If you ever met him, you would tell me that the stories I could tell are made up and could not possibly be tha tsame person that you met. All I can say is that therapy and self-control go MILES into remaking a persons soul. I love my father dearly and he is now one of my best friends. I respect him now and not because of the "spankings" we have received in the past but because of the respect he now gives to each of his kids. He too had fought to break a cycle of abuse. Unfortunely for us kids, he didn't accomplish it until my youngest sister was halfway through her teen years.
Now, for my things I need to do today:
Wash half the MOUNTAIN of laundry and actually put it away (a brave new feat for me) -
Figure out where in Hades I put those stupid peat pellets -
Start working on DD's latest dress -
My daughter, on the other hand, is learning to test the boundaries. I'm working on a full bore mutiny in my household. Her favorite things to do to test the full extent of my temper are to go into my feminine pads and remove the outer wrapping and the paper from all the sticky pads thereby rendering them unusable, standing on our new dining table because now she can climb up on it easier and, finally, turning into a veritable tattletale, drama queen. She likes to tattletale on her brother when he's done nothing to her at all even. If you tell her NO in any form (and we have many, many times), she will believe that the entire world will melt with the sorrow in her heart. Generally, this leads to a stint in CRIB KNOX though. Crib Knox is what I call the pack and play that is in her room. I used it previously on daycare children and at the moment, it is my naughty toddler detention center where they do "hard" time (stay until their meltdown is over). If I weren't so callous as to put her there, she would follow me room to room with her bullhorn mouth wailing about how I did her wrong by not letting her play with iron, sharp knives or whatever dangerous object I've removed from her person. She likes to help unload the dishwasher but hasn't grasped that the dishes need to stay in the kitchen.
All in all, I love and adore my kids. Most likely the reason they drive me crazy is that I feel like a bumbling mother that has no direction in where to take the discipline even though I'm pretty sure that I've studied almost every child-rearing book on the market. I've thought about contacting the Supernanny show so that she could proe to me that her blasted time outs DO work on children that literally sit there laughing. I'm not particularly fond of spanking my children with hand or any object as I am battling a cycle of disciplinary abuse. My dad was a different father than he is today and tended to hit before he found out all the facts. These days, he is a remarkably patient man and is actually even the principal of an elementary school. If you ever met him, you would tell me that the stories I could tell are made up and could not possibly be tha tsame person that you met. All I can say is that therapy and self-control go MILES into remaking a persons soul. I love my father dearly and he is now one of my best friends. I respect him now and not because of the "spankings" we have received in the past but because of the respect he now gives to each of his kids. He too had fought to break a cycle of abuse. Unfortunely for us kids, he didn't accomplish it until my youngest sister was halfway through her teen years.
Now, for my things I need to do today:
Wash half the MOUNTAIN of laundry and actually put it away (a brave new feat for me) -
Figure out where in Hades I put those stupid peat pellets -
Start working on DD's latest dress -
Quail_Antwerp
Cold is on the Right, Hot is on The Left
Ok, Aiden, I'm going to share my "rules for spanking" with you, as I am a firm believer in spanking.
1) NEVER spank while you are angry. You can be angry about what they did, but give yourself a few minutes in "time out", count to ten, or whatever you need to do to calm down. TELL your child, "You will get a spanking for this, but mom needs to calm down first!" (Rule number 1 doesn't always work, because I have been guilty of spanking while I'm still angry...which is why rule number 2 comes in.....)
2) EXPLAIN to child WHY they are being spanked before you spank. Then you have your child tell YOU what they did wrong, make sure they understand what the spanking is for, or else they will think you are just spanking them to spank them. This is usually a 3-5 minute conversation with our child before the actual spanking. I make sure they know that Mommy and Daddy loves them, we just don't love what they did.
3) LIMIT the number of swats you give. Tell your child, what you did gets you x amount of swats (2, 3, 4) and stick to it. If they do the same thing again, give them the same number of swats again.
4) Be Consistent! If you spank them for it once, and then ignore the behavior or switch the punishment because the one time spanking didn't work, then no form of punishment will ever work.
5) Remember to tell your child you love them. Spanking your child is always harder on you than on them. Give your child a few minutes to cry, recover from the punishment, and then hug your child and tell them you love them.
1) NEVER spank while you are angry. You can be angry about what they did, but give yourself a few minutes in "time out", count to ten, or whatever you need to do to calm down. TELL your child, "You will get a spanking for this, but mom needs to calm down first!" (Rule number 1 doesn't always work, because I have been guilty of spanking while I'm still angry...which is why rule number 2 comes in.....)
2) EXPLAIN to child WHY they are being spanked before you spank. Then you have your child tell YOU what they did wrong, make sure they understand what the spanking is for, or else they will think you are just spanking them to spank them. This is usually a 3-5 minute conversation with our child before the actual spanking. I make sure they know that Mommy and Daddy loves them, we just don't love what they did.
3) LIMIT the number of swats you give. Tell your child, what you did gets you x amount of swats (2, 3, 4) and stick to it. If they do the same thing again, give them the same number of swats again.
4) Be Consistent! If you spank them for it once, and then ignore the behavior or switch the punishment because the one time spanking didn't work, then no form of punishment will ever work.
5) Remember to tell your child you love them. Spanking your child is always harder on you than on them. Give your child a few minutes to cry, recover from the punishment, and then hug your child and tell them you love them.
modern_pioneer
Mountain Man
- Joined
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I don't believe in spanking, but rather a disicpline approach.
Spanking is a short solution to long term problems. Spanking is quick, and doesn't "teach" the child skills on how to act. Causing pain and sorrow to a child is not showing them love, no matter how you explain it to them before you do it.
When you spank a child you break the bond of trust that parents and children have. Kids are forgiving, but not forgetful, and when they become adults they will hold you accountable to how you raised them. Like Amos, I hold my own father accountable for his actions, Amos is 17 y/o and I am 39. I also have read in several places here where others were rasied heavy handed and also don't approve what was done to them.
It takes more effort to use and find which disicpline approach works best than to just spank a child. We need to correct the behavior by finding solutions and teach them tools to use.
With two wonderful, well rounded, successful, confident, trustworthy, loving, respectful, and self disiplined children ages 9 and 13, our approach is working.
As a father, I like to guide them in their choices as well as be their friend. If they are having troubles, I want them to be able to come to me and talk to me without fearing my actions. As both of them get older, working together in the garden, fishing, camping, doing fun stuff as a family, all builds a positive relationship for their tougher years ahead.
My DD even at the age of 9 has shown positive leadership amoung her peers. DS is respected and tends to lean more towards a follower. Like all children, they don't always make the right choices. But my job as a parent is to help them and give them options, show them what outcomes might happen according to what they decide to do.
I bring a lot of pride to the table when I say "I have never laid a cross hand on either of my children" and you know what, they're turning out to be pretty good people.
This is a subject of great debate, however I will not debate this issue because I am not raising your children, and you not raising mine.
Spanking is a short solution to long term problems. Spanking is quick, and doesn't "teach" the child skills on how to act. Causing pain and sorrow to a child is not showing them love, no matter how you explain it to them before you do it.
When you spank a child you break the bond of trust that parents and children have. Kids are forgiving, but not forgetful, and when they become adults they will hold you accountable to how you raised them. Like Amos, I hold my own father accountable for his actions, Amos is 17 y/o and I am 39. I also have read in several places here where others were rasied heavy handed and also don't approve what was done to them.
It takes more effort to use and find which disicpline approach works best than to just spank a child. We need to correct the behavior by finding solutions and teach them tools to use.
With two wonderful, well rounded, successful, confident, trustworthy, loving, respectful, and self disiplined children ages 9 and 13, our approach is working.
As a father, I like to guide them in their choices as well as be their friend. If they are having troubles, I want them to be able to come to me and talk to me without fearing my actions. As both of them get older, working together in the garden, fishing, camping, doing fun stuff as a family, all builds a positive relationship for their tougher years ahead.
My DD even at the age of 9 has shown positive leadership amoung her peers. DS is respected and tends to lean more towards a follower. Like all children, they don't always make the right choices. But my job as a parent is to help them and give them options, show them what outcomes might happen according to what they decide to do.
I bring a lot of pride to the table when I say "I have never laid a cross hand on either of my children" and you know what, they're turning out to be pretty good people.
This is a subject of great debate, however I will not debate this issue because I am not raising your children, and you not raising mine.
noobiechickenlady
Almost Self-Reliant
QA listed our method almost to a T.
They have to have consistency, they have to know that you love them even if you are going to warm their bottom, or rather, that you are going to warm their bottom because you love them and can't allow them to do things that are unacceptable or dangerous.
Some kids can be raised with no corporal punishment, mine are not that kind. A warm rear end really reinforces the message we needed to get across, otherwise, there is nothing to back it up. As they get older, the spankings are getting less frequent and simple warnings about behavior are becoming sufficient.
Keep your boundaries where they are, they will test them, endlessly sometimes. But they need to know they are there and that mom is the same.
I'm with the metal peddler, though. They are your kids and you will have to determine what works for your family.
They have to have consistency, they have to know that you love them even if you are going to warm their bottom, or rather, that you are going to warm their bottom because you love them and can't allow them to do things that are unacceptable or dangerous.
Some kids can be raised with no corporal punishment, mine are not that kind. A warm rear end really reinforces the message we needed to get across, otherwise, there is nothing to back it up. As they get older, the spankings are getting less frequent and simple warnings about behavior are becoming sufficient.
Keep your boundaries where they are, they will test them, endlessly sometimes. But they need to know they are there and that mom is the same.
I'm with the metal peddler, though. They are your kids and you will have to determine what works for your family.
