Anyone else 'going at it alone'?
- Thread starter canesisters
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sumi
Rest in Peace 1980-2020
Me, myself and I over here 
DS helps a little bit here and there, but honestly, most of the time he makes more work for me! No big projects going on here though, apart from taking care of the chickens, garden when it's not freezing, cutting firewood and digging old stone buildings out of the backyard lol
DS helps a little bit here and there, but honestly, most of the time he makes more work for me! No big projects going on here though, apart from taking care of the chickens, garden when it's not freezing, cutting firewood and digging old stone buildings out of the backyard lolNH Homesteader
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FEM is also a super hero. I was going to mention you but didn't want it to sound like I was calling your hubby out for not helping you lol!!
Lazy Gardener
Super Self-Sufficient
Short story: I do the day to day "farming" alone. Long story:
My hubby is my best friend and support. He is the tether or string, and I am the helium balloon. He is a city boy with country benefits. He likes to mow the lawn, and is a jack of all trades, plumbing, construction, electrical. He steps up where needed, but for the most part, I do all the gardening, animal care, food prep and processing, and a lot of the building projects.
I have built: stone walls, and stone retaining walls, hauled lots of rocks off the property, leveled and seeded the rubble left behind by an excavator over 1 acre we had cleared a few years ago, dug with pick axe and planted an orchard in bone hard clay strewn with boulders. Built a HK mound, and hauled and spread many yards of wood chips for BTE style orchard and garden.
I built my first coop (cattle panel), 2 chicken tractors, a CP green house. I also do smaller building projects: book cases with ceramic tile tops, rolling carts for portable green house and feed barrels. He and I built the second coop together, with him doing the bulk of it.
DH will feed the birds or gather the eggs when I am away. In the beginning, he helped me with the necessary processing. But, over the last 3 years, I do that chore alone. I figure that "farming" is "my hobby", not his. So, it's not fair for me to expect him to get involved in managing the poultry.
He will come into the garden and pick raspberries when the crop is in full swing. Or he may run out to the garden and grab some lettuce or an onion when I'm cooking supper. Aside from that, he rarely enters the garden (my domain) and when he does, I have to be on guard b/c he's just as likely to trample a newly seeded bed as he is to walk in the path. If I have a heavy task that I simply can't manage, or that requires 2 sets of hands, he'll help me. He will supervise when I use the chainsaw. When I go to town recycling center for mulch, I do all of the physical labor involved in that, but... he often goes with me. The recycle center is in an out of the way spot, and there have been times when I've felt vulnerable b/c of the folks who sometimes hang around there.
Snow removal: He actually likes to snow blow. But, I am usually home so end up doing it unless weather and storm pattern cooperate so it can be left until he has a day off. It takes 2 hours to do the necessary snow blowing, AFTER the snow plow has come and done our driveway.
But, I'm 62, he's 65 and has had 2 back surgeries, and has a bum shoulder. So... It's a juggling act at this point doing the heavier stuff with limited physical ability.
My hubby is my best friend and support. He is the tether or string, and I am the helium balloon. He is a city boy with country benefits. He likes to mow the lawn, and is a jack of all trades, plumbing, construction, electrical. He steps up where needed, but for the most part, I do all the gardening, animal care, food prep and processing, and a lot of the building projects.
I have built: stone walls, and stone retaining walls, hauled lots of rocks off the property, leveled and seeded the rubble left behind by an excavator over 1 acre we had cleared a few years ago, dug with pick axe and planted an orchard in bone hard clay strewn with boulders. Built a HK mound, and hauled and spread many yards of wood chips for BTE style orchard and garden.
I built my first coop (cattle panel), 2 chicken tractors, a CP green house. I also do smaller building projects: book cases with ceramic tile tops, rolling carts for portable green house and feed barrels. He and I built the second coop together, with him doing the bulk of it.
DH will feed the birds or gather the eggs when I am away. In the beginning, he helped me with the necessary processing. But, over the last 3 years, I do that chore alone. I figure that "farming" is "my hobby", not his. So, it's not fair for me to expect him to get involved in managing the poultry.
He will come into the garden and pick raspberries when the crop is in full swing. Or he may run out to the garden and grab some lettuce or an onion when I'm cooking supper. Aside from that, he rarely enters the garden (my domain) and when he does, I have to be on guard b/c he's just as likely to trample a newly seeded bed as he is to walk in the path. If I have a heavy task that I simply can't manage, or that requires 2 sets of hands, he'll help me. He will supervise when I use the chainsaw. When I go to town recycling center for mulch, I do all of the physical labor involved in that, but... he often goes with me. The recycle center is in an out of the way spot, and there have been times when I've felt vulnerable b/c of the folks who sometimes hang around there.
Snow removal: He actually likes to snow blow. But, I am usually home so end up doing it unless weather and storm pattern cooperate so it can be left until he has a day off. It takes 2 hours to do the necessary snow blowing, AFTER the snow plow has come and done our driveway.
But, I'm 62, he's 65 and has had 2 back surgeries, and has a bum shoulder. So... It's a juggling act at this point doing the heavier stuff with limited physical ability.
Lazy Gardener
Super Self-Sufficient
Oh yeah. When we were kids we often ranged far and wide. We always told our parents where we were going. But, in our meanderings we were often out of "yelling distance". So, we had a "call bell." Two blasts from the car horn would notify us that we needed to high tail it home.
An other fond memory: getting into our pajamas, turning the back end of the station wagon into a comfy "bed" and going to the drive in movies.
And the A & W Root Beer stand. It was a drive in restaurant. The waitresses would often wear rollerskates, come to your car to take your order, then deliver the food on trays that would hook over the car door when the window was rolled down. The root beer was awesome. Nothing like the stuff you buy today at the grocer.
An other fond memory: getting into our pajamas, turning the back end of the station wagon into a comfy "bed" and going to the drive in movies.
And the A & W Root Beer stand. It was a drive in restaurant. The waitresses would often wear rollerskates, come to your car to take your order, then deliver the food on trays that would hook over the car door when the window was rolled down. The root beer was awesome. Nothing like the stuff you buy today at the grocer.
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canesisters
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I guess yall are right. Just feeling a little sorry for myself after what seems like weeks of working by flashlight in the rain.
It won't be so bad once the days get a little bit longer.
It won't be so bad once the days get a little bit longer.
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canesisters
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Y'all that are alone, look at it this way...…. Would you REALLY want to house break and train another spouse?
LOL. I'm afraid that I'm way too 'set in my ways' to be tolerated by a new man.
But some days I think it would be SO nice to be able to call someone and say "Hey, can you start dinner and feed the dogs? I'm still waiting on Mr. Farmer to come load a round bale and by the time I get home and get it in the field it's going to be 8:30 or later." Or to have someone to hold the other end of a board, or point a light, or....
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Lazy Gardener
Super Self-Sufficient
Add to the head lamp: a couple good sets of clamps, and some ratchet straps. Yeah... any job that hubby and I do together would take me at least 4 times as long to do alone. It would be great if you folks who didn't have a helper could devise a "work co-op" Trade hours and work together with folks in your area who have similar needs.
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One of our neighbors has a much bigger tractor than us, so we often trade DH's mechanic skills for tractor work. The rest of our immediate neighbors are yuppie folks who prefer to buy organic food rather than grow it, but they're nice enough. Then there's the meth dealers up the road... I live in a weird place lol.
Lazy Gardener
Super Self-Sufficient
Bee, I hear you loud and clear. We used to have a great community, back in the granola years. Hubby and I were on the fringes of that crowd, but there was a lot of community back and forth, give and take. The property directly across the front end of our little dead end road was about a 100 acre parcel. 4 families joined to buy it communally. Each family had a few acres for their personal property, and shared ownership of the remaining acreage. I don't know if the community acreage has "been dissolved", but all initial owners have moved on. We had a little co-op store on that community parcel. DH and I raised layers and meat birds, splitting the labor and birds with one neighbor in that group, then doing the same thing with a neighbor up the street. One of the "up the street" neighbors does a great job looking after the needs of the folks around them. He has a tractor, and chain saw, but they do no farming. During the last major wind storm, he went and cleared a huge downed tree from a neighbor's yard.
For the most part, it's very difficult to develop those kinds of relationships. I do see it happening within my church community, and DH and I have been on the receiving and giving end of that a multitude of times. Groups of men/families will gather to cut and split wood, do yard work, put on new roofs, help someone move, winterize... One guy has a Kubota, and he does some volunteer work with that. We even have small groups that function on common interests. There is even an ice fishing group.
For the most part, it's very difficult to develop those kinds of relationships. I do see it happening within my church community, and DH and I have been on the receiving and giving end of that a multitude of times. Groups of men/families will gather to cut and split wood, do yard work, put on new roofs, help someone move, winterize... One guy has a Kubota, and he does some volunteer work with that. We even have small groups that function on common interests. There is even an ice fishing group.
