ARGH!! I just hate it when...

[Quail_Antwerp]

Ah, thank you, Beekissed. Your post made me cry. A good cry, not a bad one.

Maybe I should ask her if she wants a chicken Might open up a whole new world for her!

 

[MorelCabin]

I know what you mean. But you know what I have learned over the years? People who make folks feel inferior suffer from a basic insecurity about their own worth and must constantly put others down to make themselves feel better about their own life.

If you'll notice, people who are really happy don't feel the need to make others feel unhappy, there would be no purpose in it for them.

By snerling her nose up at your home, she may be trying to understand why you and your family can remain content with less than she has, and what is your secret to this happiness? She can't get what you have(contentedness, happiness) and it upsets her, so she must put it down...sort of like a "sour grapes" story.

When you think about it like that, she is to be pitied for her shallow insecurities. You can stop feeling threatened by her and start feeling a little smug that you are the real winner of the situation....you have something that money nor status can buy and something she can't obtain!

Then you can look for ways to enlighten her about how to get what you have!

Bekissed I believe you have it in a nutshell

 

[Beekissed]

Morel, sweety, you must be a very popular lady....your inbox is full once again!!!

I was sending you a recipe for a wonderful cleaner for computer monitor screens with one of the main ingredients being cow slobber. I think its one part vinegar, 10 parts water and 3 parts Bessie slobber, but its been awhile since I've made it...

 

[RTRChick]

Quail show her your chicken Emmy. How anyone could not love that chicken is beyond me.

 

[FarmerChick]

Quail
you wrote---there is just an air about her that makes me feel inferior, and I don't like it.


******I am sure she does this every where she goes. Not just you guys. That is her ya know.

People are people and you can't change people. So don't take this the wrong way, but you need to work on you. Forget her, cause she ain't going to change, so you must lose the self-conscious way you get when she or anyone with that type of personality visits. It isn't easy for us to change and not worry about how others make us feel....but put things in perspective, cause if you are happy with your life, then stop there. Don't let in the other negative issues. Acknowledge it and then get over it ya know...LOL...that is what I do now. The littlest thing from family or friends could set me into a bad mood, set me thinking I need to change my life in a way, set me to feeling I had to clean every inch of the house, LOL, and all things. Now I let all that wash over me and take care of the family and don't let anything sway me. Maybe being older (close to 50) it took me that much time to get to this point, where I can say, Poo to whatever others think.

oh well just rambling..LOL--have a great day and smile and don't be thinking about this anymore. Today is a new day full of crazy chickens and wild kids and fun times at your farm!..HA HA...

 

[the simple life]

I am wondering what the reason is for you not allowing them into the chicken coops.
I know you are proud of all your chickens and ducks so why can't they see them or the coops? I am a little confused by this I guess, or is it just because you don't like them so they aren't welcome there?

No matter how you feel about them or how they make you feel, I would be nice to them. Otherwise its only going to give them something to complain about you to others.
If you don't play into the situation, and act friendly and gracious, really what can they go home and say about you?
Its hard for them to badmouth someone who is nice to them, and they might even feel bad about how they treated you.

Is it possible that you are a little insecure about your situation so you think they are looking down on you more than they are?
I really don't know, please, I am just trying to look at different ways of this to be handled. I am definitely not judging since I know you are upset about them making you feel bad.

I guess I just would not play into their hands.
If you think they are looking down at you, why not show off all you do have.
Show them around the coops, the property, your house.
Cook up your specialty and have them for dinner.
Act like you are the luckiest woman or earth to have what you have and brag about it.
If you are giving off vibes that what you have may not be good enough then they are going to catch on to that.
If you show them that you are happy with what you have and that material items don't mean that much to you then how can they find fault with that.
I have a relative who is all about material things and she loves to brag and compete with everyone.
Only I never play in to that. I love what I have and I am happy and I honestly think that upsets her sometimes.
When she goes on and one about something she got and mentions that I could probably get one someday, she is shocked to find out that I am truly not interested in having one.
She needs things to try to fill some void in her life and no matter what she buys she is still not happy.
I feel sorry for her.
Show them how great you guys are doing and how happy your family is.
Homeschooling? Educate them on how well your kids are doing and how great you are for doing this for them.
Aren't you selling duck eggs and aren't they in big demand?
Why not tell them that over a barbecue?
Better yet, send them home with some fresh laid eggs.
Can you send them some crafty homemade item for Christmas, show off your homemaking skills.
Its a tough situation but its probably even tougher on your husband, but it can definitely be turned around.
If all else fails, you are the one who tried her best to work things out with them and you can move on from there.
I really wish you the best and hope it gets better for you.

 

[FarmerChick]

When she goes on and one about something she got and mentions that I could probably get one someday, she is shocked to find out that I am truly not interested in having one.


***natalie you summed it up....DON"T play the game with them. Simple as that right? LOL

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

I am wondering what the reason is for you not allowing them into the chicken coops.
I know you are proud of all your chickens and ducks so why can't they see them or the coops? I am a little confused by this I guess, or is it just because you don't like them so they aren't welcome there?

OH I don't let anyone IN my coops, but people can LOOK all they want I am just too scared people will bring cooties into my pens, and I am freakish about that because we do hope to sell healthy chicks from here some day If he had just looked at the poultry without going into the coop, no big deal.

They really are welcome to come visit anytime, if they like. I guess I have really worded this badly, and made myself look the fool here.

My SIL doesn't spend more thant 15 minutes here when she does come to visit. My BIL will come in, sit and visit, talk with us, take a general interest in our lives and how it is going without seeming to judge us.

Best example I can give is this: Summer before last they came to visit. BIL came in while she was changing the baby's diaper in the car. She came in, said Hi, asked her husband if he was about ready to go, and she then took their baby outside and waited for him. I went out to visit with her, and she said everything was fine, and locked herself and her baby in the car.

Last Christmas they were up again. BIL came to visit, SIL stayed up the road at FIL's. Finally, about after two hours, she had FIL bring her down and demanded to BIL that they leave right then.

On some level I do feel self conscious about how we live compared to them, and I know I shouldn't. I would love to show her around, have a fire out back in the fire pit, let my niece play with my kids (my kids never get to see cousins), but she just won't allow that.

I do think I am the luckiest woman on earth, but I was taught all my life that we are to be modest and not brag, because that would be rude.

Last time she was up and we mentioned that I am homeschooling, she told me I was crazy. I ignored it. E said he was proud of me for ignoring her comments.

 

[the simple life]

Ya know it works for me. I hate those one upmanship situations don't you?
I really take no notice in the things other people have, when they brag I say oh thats nice, congratulations and they almost seem let down or something that I am not rolling on the floor with jealousy.

Not playing the game takes all the fun out of it for those kind of people, its no fun to play by yourself right?

 

[FarmerChick]

Not playing the game takes all the fun out of it for those kind of people, its no fun to play by yourself right?

***That sure is it! I do the same, when someone is "kinda" bragging I give the "oh that's nice" and move on and they kinda give ya the look like--aren't you envious? Nope...LOL...deflates them but that is cool cause mostly I don't care..HA HA

Life is too short ever to worry about others' comments or stuff!