Can you really be Earth friendly if you have children?

[farm_mom]

What do you guys think about the opinion of many self-sufficient, "green" types about children? (And I know I'm generalizing, and many people don't particularly like the "green" term. But I'm trying to keep it general so as to not refer to anyone specifically.) I've heard it before, but lately I seem to meet quite a few people who live a life similar to mine, but who refuse to have children for environmental/global reasons. I often feel like the evil, earth killin' parent in the room! I often find myself wishing that those were the people who were having children. That these ways, and the ability to take care of oneself on so many levels should be passed on and nurtured in the future generation. What do you think?

 

[patandchickens]

First, I would argue (though of course can't prove one way or the other) that it may be more useful to raise good, sensible, thoughtful kids who grow up to play a constructive role in the next generation, than to leave the next generation populated entirely by the offspring of people of whose lifestyle/ethics you do not approve.

Second, I would point out that unless one wants to take the ridiculously extremist stance that it's our obligation to exterminate the human race, there is going to HAVE to be reproduction for the species to continue, and why should we be any less entitled to contribute to that than anyone else is.

I think the only place the issue becomes a semi-reasonable one is for people who were really pretty on-the-fence about having kids in the first place. If you didn't especially want them, or if you would consider their impact on your life and lifestyle to be significantly negative, then it is probably relevant to factor in "well, maybe it's better that we not add to the six point whatever billion people occupying the planet".

But there is a big difference between "we", the individual couple, versus "we" the other people who also hold similar ideals and goals.

As I said, reduced to its simplest form it is a silly notion to think it's more honorable not to reproduce, unless you really WANT the world populated entirely by a McDonalds generation or think you can somehow also get everyone else to forgo reproduction

Frankly I think it doesn't pay to put too much credence in most of what people say about reasons for having or not having children. It is awfully hard to disentangle one's real motivations from biological, societal, peer-pressure, comfort-zone and image type issues. And it is CERTAINLY not a constructive topic for people to try to challenge each others' opinions about, in my observation

Pat

 

[farm_mom]

Yes, I agree. Everyone's reasons for having children or not should be personal and all their own. Not trying to question anyone's choices or start an argument.

I've run across people who choose not to have babies for environmental and overpopulation reasons before and have never thought anything of it. To each their own. I guess what really has had me thinking lately is an altercation I had recently with someone who told me in a very smug and almost hostile tone about their choice to not have children because of environmental reasons. I told her that that was funny, because I chose to HAVE children for those very same reasons and moved on. I felt a little silly afterwards because of course I did not have kids because I believed our way was better or to better the world in some grandious way. I was just reacting to her holier than thou attitude and accusatory looks at my children.

I have a friend who chooses not to have children because she believes the world is going down quickly because of global warming, polution, overpopulation etc... and thinks the next generation is going to have a horrible life ahead of them when it all hits the proverbial fan. She really wants children, but refuses to do so. I respect her choice, it clearly isn't an easy one for her to make.

Perhaps I'm just curious about other people's experiences and opinions because I started having children before I really started making serious life changes so that whole argument never came into play in my decision making.

 

[poppycat]

I agree with patandchickens for the most part. I think you could potentially make a case for making a "Earth friendly" decision as to how many children one might have. But I'm not even going to go there. Having had my child bearing decisions questioned and judged from all points by people I no longer consider friends, I think that whatever people/couples decide child wise is right for them.

For me, that ship has sailed. As far as people rubbing my nose in how much more "Earth friendly" they are than me, I just consider them lucky not to be cursed with any critical thinking skills.

Mary (mom to 3 )

 

[FarmerChick]

People either want kids or not.
The global impact on the earth is just an excuse to me...LOL...there are probably tons of reasons they don't want kids.

If ya don't want them, I say don't have them. (But don't put down people who do have them....learn to just accept your decision and leave it at that--I don't like when people get too high and mightly about their choices in life....that is right, their choice, like it should be everyones..LOL)

If ya do...have all you want.

 

[Cassandra]

Farmer Chick, I SO agree with you. (about the high and mighty)

First of all, it's pretty presumptuous of someone to think I want to know why they don't have kids. (don't care, don't care, don't care) THEN to try to tell ME how to do it.

Pscht.

Also, I think that people try to justify their decision--to themselves and to others--by making up some very grand sounding excuse like the fate of the Earth.

There may be a couple on the planet who chooses not to have children for environmental reasons, though if there is, I bet it's not many. But the idea that there is actually a couple who DOES want kids but will not do it on principal... I don't believe it for a moment. To do something that doesn't hurt anyone but yourself that is going to have virtually NIL effect on the environment seems almost kinda ... well... you know...

Along the same lines, am I the only one who thinks it's creepy how celebrities go all over the world adopting children? I actually read an article where one famous guy (not the Jolie-Pitts, someone else) said he wanted to adopt children of all colors from all over the world.

Does this remind anyone else of big game hunting?

Don't get me wrong, I think the children are probably very lucky. And as long as their new parents can take care of them, I say let them have as many as they want... It just seems like a super-elite status exercise to me. (gotta catch 'em all!)

Cassandra

 

[me&thegals]

As somebody who actually loves kids but is only having 2 partly for sustainability reasons, I would like to point out that some people truly have this view and aren't just trying to justify other unspoken reasons. If my husband agrees to more kids, I would love to adopt or foster children.

I also have friends who love kids and choose to adopt in order to form families in ways that don't include bringing MORE children into this world for many reasons (environmental, "the state of the world", overpopulation, etc.) These are NOT flaky, high-and-mighty, obnoxiously liberal folks, just people who have their own reasons for forming their families the way they have. It is WAY more difficult to adopt children than have them biologically, so I would not assume so quickly that people are just flitting all over planet Earth happily "buying up" poor orphaned children. I think it does a huge discredit to those who have spent hundreds of anxious hours filling out paperwork, getting fingerprinted, enduring home visits and waiting to become the parents of another child.

So, just as most of us don't want to have our family formation questioned, maybe we shouldn't do the same to others...

 

[Farmfresh]

I say we need a whole herd of self sufficient children out there.

I am SO tired of people that think not having kids will save the world. First who is going to do all the work if we - the farmer's - stop having kids and who will fix things?

Personal opinion ... most people who vote NOT to have kids are being selfish and lazy.

Kids SHOULD take LOTS of time, effort and WORK. Now I agree mostly nowadays they really don't take much of those things, at all. Stick them in daycare, babysitters, in front of the TV or give them a pocket video game and you really don't have to work very hard at all. Other people will be happy to raise them for you. (Remember Hitler's Nazi Youth?) But don't be amazed when they cannot bond with another human being or read. Oh and do they seem to be hyper or have a disorder? Well dear parent it could not possibly be YOUR fault. After all he has a Wii.

Give them a parent that gives a dang, an animal to love and a little hoe to use in the garden and we MAY be able to SAVE the world!

 

[me&thegals]

Back to the original questions: Yes! Hand-me-down clothes, home-grown food, small vehicles, few toys and electronics (just lots of great outside time with animals, friends and family)--all ways to have kids and still be "earth friendly." I love teaching my kids about where their food comes from (they help grow it!), picking up litter, and all the hundreds of lessons that come up with children in teaching them to live lightly on this earth.

 

[Cassandra]

Questioning? Gosh, no. I wouldn't ask and wouldn't believe what they told me. I'm just answering the OP's question "what do you guys think...?"

And I think it creeps me out a little bit!

I also think that saving the planet is vastly different than having the number of children you want (even if it is zero) that will allow you to live the kind of life you want to live.

When I was a teenager, I told my parents (in a lighthearted conversation) that I wasn't ever going to have any kids. My dad told me, in all seriousness, that if I wasn't going to have children, then there was no point in getting married. I said, "Oh well, I guess maybe I could have one." and dad said, "Well, that would be between you and your husband."

And as absurd as I knew that was at the time, I have been married twice and ended up having one child with each husband. Coincidence? (haha probably)

My mother always told me I was too selfish to have children. But that must be an old wives tale. I learned the hard way that selfishness is not an effective form of birth control.

Cassandra