Denim Deb Hay, hay, hay. Thank the Lord!

[murphysranch]

I don't know what to add here, Deb. You are surrounded by poison, so the sooner you begin to extract yourself (slowly, cautiously, and with stealth), the better you and your heath will be.

 

[Shiloh Acres]

I hope things get better. I will pray for you to feel encouraged and at peace, for strengh for you, and for your situation to improve.

 

[Denim Deb]

I don't know what to add here, Deb. You are surrounded by poison, so the sooner you begin to extract yourself (slowly, cautiously, and with stealth), the better you and your heath will be.

That's what I'm working on. I've already figured out the minimum amount I'd need to make a year in order to pay all my bills and still put some aside. And as much as I'd hate to do it, it would involve moving into a trailer park. But, the lot rent is cheaper than it would be to get a room in a rooming house. Plus, I'd be alone and not have to worry about any other residents. I could not afford an apartment, or the rent on a house.

I'd also try to lease out Licorice. If I was able to do that, that would probably bring me enough per month to take care of the rest of my animals. And, I'd still own her so that if I were ever able to get my own place, I'd be able to bring her back home. (I figure I'm going to have grandchildren one day. Hopefully one of them will be a horse nut.)

Today, my hubby actually didn't get drunk! That's so unusual for when he's off. I hate to have him home if all he's going to do is drink. I keep asking myself if he doesn't change, what will I do when he's able to retire?

 

[murphysranch]

You don't "do" anything with him when he retires. You are not part of his world - you live in your own and take care of yourself.

As the advice columnists say: are you better off with him or without him???

 

[Denim Deb]

You don't "do" anything with him when he retires. You are not part of his world - you live in your own and take care of yourself.

As the advice columnists say: are you better off with him or without him???

That's what I often wonder. And that's why I'm planning for the future already.

 

[savingdogs]

Wow! Try to find a way to reduce your stress load, you have things too complicated. Your kids need to learn to pick up the slack and be more independent. Tell your hubby that is part of his JOB as a parent, to raise a self sufficient person.

It sounds like you know already what changes you want to make, I'll be praying that you can make them happen! It would drive me crazy to have to share space for my animals with someone, you make me grateful for our privacy here. I know for sure that KN and I would have "had words" by now.
See I'd be smacking everyone in your life, you are obviously nicer than me.

You are probably needing to look out for number one.

 

[Denim Deb]

I'm sitting on the cot in my tack shed typing this. Dust Bunny is on the cot w/me, growling at Cindy, and I'm not sure where in here Rerun is, but she's in here some place. But, things came to a head tonight.

When I came home from church this morning, there was no sign of my DH (D in this case being drunk). As far as I knew, he and our DD were out together, which is pretty common on both Saturdays and Sundays. I had some stuff to do at the farm, so decided to go and do as much as I could b4 coming home, feeding the animals, doing dishes and making some brownies for a church supper.

Well, he got home b4 I did, and by the time I got home, he was drunk. And, he hadn't been out w/our DD, but had gone grocery shopping. I made my brownies, did the dishes, and went to church. I stayed as late as I could hoping he'd be asleep by the time I got home. No such luck. Since I was tired, I went to bed. This was about 7:45.

Not too long after that, he started his usual screaming and hollering about not wanting animals in his house, he pays all the bills, I don't do anything but play w/the horses, the animals are more important than my family. In the meantime, I'm praying, trying to figure out if I should leave or stay. Then he starts screaming about not eating all day. I got up, and offered to make him something to eat. He said no, I'd just make slop and he'd make his own. Then, he wanted me to look at what he was doing in the basement. He was putting a door up to keep the cats in one area. I didn't have a problem w/that. But then, he started to scream at me, telling me he should have never married me, I was crazy, he should have analyzed my parents b4 we got married, etc. I had enough. I went upstairs, grabbed my laptop and some clothes. I put them in the truck. Then I went back inside and grabbed the cats. In the meantime he's calling the kids and telling them that I'm leaving and taking the cats. He did not try and stop me.

So, for now, I'm in the tack shed. RU knows. I have an electric heater going. I had hoped to be able to wait awhile if I did need to move out. But, unless things change, I will only be back to get my stuff. I'll put it in storage for now if I have to, and find a better job. Please pray for me.

 

[BarredBuff]

Im soooo sorry Deb.

Stay warm tonight and try to sleep some, you will need it. Is the tack shed near his house or at the farm?

 

[Denim Deb]

At the farm.

 

[BarredBuff]

Are you doing okay???