Denim Deb Hay, hay, hay. Thank the Lord!

Stay HYDRATED!!! This is why I am working INSIDE today...until the cooler part of the afternoon anyway. It's just TOO hot!
 
Today was cooler, it only got up to 98! But, at least they're calling for cooler weather next week. I hope they're right.

Today, I started fighting back. It started this morning. Today was the day that we bombed the house. I would have rather done it over the weekend, but hubby wanted it done today. I got up at 5:15, and started getting stuff put away that couldn't be out. The fridge needed to be unplug-which he knew. There is no way I could move the fridge by myself. So, I reminded him of it. He got all upset, said he was going to be late to work, yadda, yadda, yadda. Then he started to curse. I told him, stop cursing at me. He replied, I'm not cursing at you. So, I told him stop cursing around me, then. I don't like it. He stopped.

Once I finally got everything away (or at least what I remembered), I went ahead and set off the bombs. Then, I left. It was much later than I had wanted it to be and I'm horse sitting! I get to the farm, and get the horses fed. There's only 3 horses, but 2 of them are in stalls at night, the other has a run in. And, the one that's in is an old, blind mini. She takes forever to eat, so I feed her first. By the time she's done, and I have the horses out, I don't have time to feed my horses. I stop long enough to give Stormy his 1st feeding, and throw out some hay. Then, I go to work.

Today, I actually had a fairly light day at work. And, by 10:30, I was done. So, I head on home to open windows and turn on fans to ventilate the house. According to the instructions, the house needs to air for 20 minutes B4 you can reenter. I let it air for 30 minutes and did some work outside. When I went back in, I still couldn't stand to be in the house. I was getting dizzy, and getting a headache. Plus, I was HUNGRY! I had planned on getting some lunch at home and doing some housework B4 heading back to the farm. That wasn't going to happen. So, I went to a nearby diner. I didn't eat all my lunch, but was able to carry the leftovers home on my bike. The house was now OK to be in, but I didn't have time. I closed the windows, and turned on the AC, then left.

I get to the farm only to be greeted by 4 mad horses. They were of the opinion that I was neglecting them. I got them fed, threw out some more hay, then let Misty and Stormy out in the parking area. Once this was all done, I started up my mower and mowed the sections I had promised RU I'd do. It took longer than I was expecting. And, let me tell you, it was no fun! LF and I are the only ones that clean our paddocks. The others just let the manure pile on up. And, it takes awhile for it all to break down. So, not only was I mowing weeds and grass, I was mowing manure. :sick

By now, it's after 3:30, and hubby called to say he was on the way home from work. There was no way I was going to leave then. After all, if I did, I would have just had to come back out to feed the other horses. So, I did some more work. I replaced the fence post I had broken. Once it was in, I nailed the fence to that. Then, I went and got the tractor. Using the tractor, I brought over the small section of fencing that was left from finish the one side. Of course, it didn't cooperate w/me. I had a horrible time not only getting it unrolled, but also in getting the fence stretcher where it needed to be. Then, it starts to rain!:barnie So, I'm out there in the pouring rain trying to get this fence up. But, I was able to get the section done! I had hoped to be all done today, but that ain't going to happen. :/ Then, I get everything put away, cover the tractor, change into my jeans from my soaked shorts and leave. I go past where I'm barn sitting, and found her daughter had been there, and she fed the horses, so I shot right home.

By the time I got home and fed the animals, it was 7:15. Hubby was drunk, and he started to get on me. I was NOT about to put up w/that. So I asked him, do I need to leave? He wanted to know why. I told him, you're drunk, and I don't want t o have to put up w/you. He shut up.

So, I was able to get a bit to eat, as well as a shower. And, I'm being left alone.
 
YEAH!!!!!!!!!! You go girl! You don't have to take that mess! Glad to hear you are standing up for yourself :) :hugs
 
Great job on standing up for yourself! You should never allow someone to treat you that way! You must feel very empowered!
 
for the cat, drown the fleas. not just a bath, you need to submerge the cat up to her neck...and hold her there that deep for about 4 mins. at least. fleas drown, they can not survive. get her wet, separate the fur a bit to get that water to her skin. sometimes air gets trapped in fur and a flea can survive. but hold that body underwater long enough then they drown.

once that is done and all are dead on her, check her face etc for flea and pick them off.

that way you have a flealess cat lol and then of course you have to somehow control the area (good luck with that one lol)
 
Hugs DD!!!

I didn't get a chance to read the "backstory" on your DH until just now. I'm not in your shoes, so I can't begin to pretend I know, but you both will have my prayers.

I struggled with "God hates divorce" too. But after many years of "stuff" ... Well it got to "enough is enough" for me, and besides, he divorced me. Which surprised me, but it was like being freed from prison!

I've seen miracles happen to restore relationships. But I've also seen amazing blessings and miracles come after a divorce. I think in the end, it's between you and God and your DH.

I am glad you're making a point with him, and he seems to be listening. Does he go to church with you at all, or even share your faith?

As far as the cat, I've had great results with Capstar, and it's a 1-time deal to kill all the fleas on the cat that shouldn't cost much more than $4 (though vets here charge between $3 and $12 for the SAME pill). And hopefully since you bombed the house and he's not there ATM you can get the environment under control. I do hope you get to bring him back home though. And I'm so sorry to hear about Dust Bunny.

Hugs again, and my prayers are with you!
 
I'm not sure how well the bombing worked. We're still finding live fleas. Maybe they just don't die all at once?

As for my hubby, he used to go to church, used to be very active. Then, he started to drink. And, the more he drank, the less he attended church, and the worse he treated me. I've tried to talk to him. But, he doesn't want to hear it while sober, and needless to say, he doesn't recall any of it while drunk.
 
Alcoholism is a very difficult (and very common) disease that so many of us have dealt with. It can really hold a grip on people. Your unwillingness to put up with it any longer could be the thing that makes him stop, but then again, it might not, you have to make the decision of how you want to spend your life. Reading your journal, it just does not sound like he is a very supportive person to you anymore.

I have a friend who was in a remotely similar situation. After her divorce, she said she could not believe how much better her life was without him, that she didn't realize how bad he had gotten because it was just a series of small changes over time and she slowly took over doing everything. But when she was finally free of him, she saw how much things had really changed over the years better than when she was in the middle of it. What started as a good marriage disintegrated because she grew up and frankly, her husband did not.
 
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