end of life humor aka a fairly normal morning here

[baymule]

My Daddy had bone cancer and suffered terribly. Even in pain, he was upbeat and positive. I had already cried out my grief for him, his going was the freedom from pain and suffering.

My Mom had a stroke at 88 and came to live with us. I quit my job to care for her. We went to her attorney and she made her wishes plain and clear, he wrote up the paperwork. There was no way she wanted to be "saved" only to die a slow lingering death. She finally got so bad that I couldn't keep up, we talked about it and she went to a nursing home. We were with her when she died at 92. She was under hospice care. I made darn sure that the papers were on file, there was a DNR on her door.

 

[HomesteaderWife]

@baymule sorry for your loss of both parents, but as you said at least your father was no long suffering, and your mom had a very long life with her wishes made clear.

 

[Britesea]

I applaud anyone getting prepared for their end....so many want to avoid that at all costs and won't let anyone even TALK about it. Folks can be weird about death, I've found.

Mom's got her coffin right in the cabin living room....a very lovely, plain pine box built from recycled pine from out in CO. It was a good deal and it also doubles as a blanket chest while not in use. I reinforced the lid so we can use it for seating as well. It fits into the rustic cabin design and most are used to it by now but it did create a stir when folks learned what that large chest/bench was for. Some folks wouldn't come near it and wouldn't even stay in the room with it! As if it was a recycled coffin that still had the germs of old remains on it or something.

Folks can sure be weird about death.

I find that the people who are especially nervous about death are the ones without any real faith. If you have nothing to look forward to in the hereafter, the end of life is scary.

 

[HomesteaderWife]

@baymule - That's got to be one of the most beautiful ways I've heard it described.

 

[Mini Horses]

Of course you can provide a copy of the DNR/liv will to your PCP and local hospital if you visit often. But, in the case an accident, it's difficult to advise first responders. A bracelet may help.....with phone numbers to next of kin? They look at a wallet for ID, maybe a notice there?

Everyone should have family on board with wishes of this sort. And plans set out for eventual demise.

 

[flowerbug]

I rushed to the hospital some years back to find staff starting to hook my Daddy up and demanded they stop. They replied that I needed the paperwork to make them stop. I said “you already have it on file in this hospital, so STOP”. Mom walked in and made them remove the oxygen mask. Daddy took a few more ragged breaths and was gone. I cried tears of relief for him, he was free.

that would be so tough to do, but that is what they want. i'm glad you were both able to stand up for his wishes.

 

[Lazy Gardener]

When I check out, I want a big party. I've never been one to want a party for my birthday. But, I'm gonna want a big ol' party to celebrate my final home coming. I know what joy stands on the other side of my death. 1 Cor 13:12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

I also do not want any heroic measures taken to keep me alive. LET ME GO!!!

That being said, I've worked in the medical field for most of my adult life. 25 years ago, my husband was critically ill. He spent weeks in ICU. He was on life support during part of that time. One of his first nights there, my mother heard the nursing staff talking about expecting 3 deaths that night. One of them was my beloved husband. (there were 2 deaths that night.)

Because of this, I have a unique perspective. I've seen the medical staff standing around like a bunch of vultures, hoping to harvest organs from a person who is treading the line between life and death. I've seen the life saving miracles offered by timely medical care. Because of that good care, and the prayers of a lot of people, I've been granted the last 25 years with my beloved husband. If he'd had a DNR order, or if he'd had a donor card, or if he didn't have any insurance, I wonder if I'd have been a widow for the past 25 years??? Based on these life experiences, I will not sign a donor card. But, my family knows my wishes. They know that I don't want to be kept alive simply to suffer a lingering death. When my time comes, I want to be allowed to GO! I'll gladly donate any bits and pieces that can be used to heal someone else.... I won't be needing them any more! Then, let the party begin.

In the mean time, hubby and I are retiring at the end of December. One of our first acts: get wills in place, be sure all the i's and t's are dotted and crossed, get medical POA documentation filed.

I urge every reader to have the necessary conversations with your family. What are your wishes? Who would be the primary person to see to it that your wishes are carried out? What can you do now to make that time easier for that primary person? If your parents are still alive, do you know what THEY want? Have they done the paperwork? When a loved one is laying in the hospital, unable to advocate for themselves, that's NOT THE TIME for family rivalries/different end of life values to play out.

 

[Britesea]

I've spoken to my family about what I want, but don't have anything in writing yet. I should get on that, I know.

 

[flowerbug]

Of course you can provide a copy of the DNR/liv will to your PCP and local hospital if you visit often. But, in the case an accident, it's difficult to advise first responders. A bracelet may help.....with phone numbers to next of kin? They look at a wallet for ID, maybe a notice there?

Everyone should have family on board with wishes of this sort. And plans set out for eventual demise.

the family all knows and everything is set up that needs to be done within the family.

she doesn't have a PCP or a hospital and won't go.

will be looking into this more for sure...

 

[flowerbug]

my sister send me a note and said we are a coupe of goombahs... lol