I think a pet's illness gets harder on people who have experienced their own.
A few years ago, I had a ewe with twin lambs. There was one normal and one about 1/4 size normal, as if there was something wrong with the placenta and it wasnt nourished. It was born Mothers Day morning, within days of me having an early miscarriage. I couldnt just let it die. It died anyway, and it was emotionally hard out of proportion to the situation.
Baymax, my retiring service dog, has a polyneuropathy degeneration that is causing symptoms which overlap with my autonomic dysfunction. Soon after I had a bout of gastroparesis, she had a long episode of vomitting that lasted for weeks and didnt respond to max doses of anti-vomiting med (the same one I take, interestingly). That was so hard too. I have high exposure to sick and dying pets, but for her to have symptoms I'd experienced recently its so much more emotionally charged.
Didn't you have recent cancer diagnosis or death in your family in the near past? That can make it harder to cope with a pets illness.
I'm so sorry you and she are struggling. (((Many hugs)))
Its done. She had multiple seizures the past 24 hours, and the one right after lunch was severe. She was under my office chair and it was bad. The lab results from Tuesday confirmed the cancer and indicated renal failure.
Had her put down about an hour ago. I was with her. COVID restrictions would only permit one of us in the room.
We celebrate the love and good times we had for the relatively short time we had her.