Frustratedearthmother's Journaling Journey

[frustratedearthmother]

Well, things might be changing around here. The in-patient hospice is releasing mom tomorrow. I've been on the phone with the assisted living facility and it looks like, maybe, possibly we can get mom in a semi private room until something else opens up. They need to do an assessment on her and hopefully that will happen today or tomorrow morning. I really hope we can go from the hospice facility straight to the assisted living facility. Dad won't be happy about that but at least we can get him there to visit her until they get room for him too.

I'm not going to get too excited though... Things have a way of changing .... But my fingers are crossed!

 

[NH Homesteader]

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Got my tomato seeds in today - YIPPEE! Hoping it'll be a good tomato year since, hopefully , there will be less stinkbugs. Might wait a couple weeks to try and get 'em started. I guess a gardener is the eternal optimist. We try every year, even after a bad year... we keep on trying!

 

[NH Homesteader]

How's your dad doing without your mom there?

I'm hoping for a good tomato year too. A new garden season... Full if possibilities!

 

[frustratedearthmother]

He's feeling a bit better since mom will be released tomorrow. I tried to tell him she might not come home - but may go to Assisted Living instead - but I'm not sure he is retaining that info. But, we did tell him he could go visit her until he can get admitted too. I'm so torn about the whole thing. I'm excited to get her there, but also feel that guilt that comes along with it.... ARGH!

Anyway - I haven't heard from AL to know if they got her assessment done today or not. Hope I hear something before she's released tomorrow. I hate uncertainty...

 

[NH Homesteader]

No guilt! You're doing the right thing!

 

[baymule]

In her present state, she might be better served in a nursing home. Assisted Living can do a lot, but most of them have limitations. If you haven't looked into a nursing care facility, I suggest you do so ASAP. My Mother got bad enough that the Assisted Living could no longer keep her and she went to a nursing facility.

I know the pain and guilt you have and I also know the feeling of freedom you have (and the gut twisting guilt you feel for feeling free). But there is only one of you, two counting your dear, sweet and supportive husband. But both of you work, and not in a nursing home. Both of you need sleep and cannot take 24-7 shifts. Both of you have (had) a life of your own. At both parents present level of care needed, the two of you just can't keep it up without breaking down yourselves. It is time.

 

[sumi]

What baymule said..

 

[frustratedearthmother]

In her present state, she might be better served in a nursing home. Assisted Living can do a lot, but most of them have limitations. If you haven't looked into a nursing care facility, I suggest you do so ASAP. My Mother got bad enough that the Assisted Living could no longer keep her and she went to a nursing facility.

This particular facility is equipped to provide whatever level of care they need. They can go in as an Assisted Living client and progress through "continuous care" which is what they call their end-of-life care. It is an "aging in place" facility and is one of the main reasons I picked this place. It is also very close geographically, run by a local family who lives on-site and is well recommended by several co-workers. One of the co-workers is our college's handicap/disabled liaison and knows every statute and regulation that must be followed - and she especially recommended them. Her own mother was there until a couple of weeks ago when she passed. I feel good about the decision to put my folks there.

 

[NH Homesteader]

A lot of places don't do that, you're fortunate to have them nearby! Especially as your parents are in such different places need-wise, it's lovely they can keep both of them there.

Have you heard anything yet?