Having a rough day today...my heart has shattered

[valmom]

Hang in there! It will most likely improve as DD realizes how much you do to take some of the pressure off her with your GD- those days a week are a really valuable resource, especially for someone who is pretty self-absorbed. She will come around.
{{hugs}}

 

[Wannabefree]

Well things got progressively worse...I have been in tears all night. DD called yesterday to blame me because my two year old GD pulled a fit yesterday and started biting herself. So DD (who is the perfect mom of course) called to ask me what I have done to cause this! I couldn't believe this! My DD is a gameplayer, and since the baby has been born she uses her to get what she wants from us. If we try and say anything about my daughters lifestyle she uses the threat that we won't be seeing our GD anymore.
Since GD has been born, daughter has moved three different men in and out of her apartment. They never last lond because DDis very difficult and tempermental and everything has to go her way 24/7. Before the baby was concieved we had given up on DD and basicly were staying away from her until she had her 'growing up time. After GD was born we helped all we ould, furnished an apartment for them, helped with food and bills etc.
At the same time we got upset a few times over things that DD was doing, but we always made sure we were there for the baby. We have been keeping that baby 2 to 3 days a week since she was born. We are very very close to her.
Yesterday Dd pulled her card again...insulting us, screaming at us that we don't love her... and we told her to 'keep her kid'
had enough! And I have been crying buckets ever since...DD will carry this on for months we are sure. I am crushed. My heart has broken in a million peices and I am very worried about this poor GD of mine who's mother never seems to put first.

Tough love is very very difficult when there is an innocent baby involved

You did the right thing for DD, the baby and yourselves. Your DD will come around when she needs a sitter to go be wild...trust me I have a sister the same way. Keep a journal of the goings on with her and the child, and all the boyfriends etc. so IF it ever comes time to fight for the kid, you have something to present as a bigger picture. I was told this by a lawyer when looking into getting my niece. Hang in there hun I'll be praying for you to have strength in this matter.

 

[murphysranch]

My daughter does the very same thing - uses my sweetie, now 5 yrs old, GD to manage me. On my Bday, I didn't hear from her (DD), and on FB thanked everyone from whom I did hear.

The very next day, she emailed and said that Miss S missed me and if I wanted, she would "let" Miss S talk to me on Skype.

I ignored the email. But gosh, I could cry right now about how much I miss my GD.

I don't know why some children turn out this way. You've done everything you could to raise her, help her, support her emotionally and financially, and still she turns on you. Its very very hard, and there will be more tears. I know. But do let go. Distance yourself. You GD will still love you and time will turn things around someday.

hugs to you.

 

[BeccaOH]

I keeping repeating these words to myself....'Let go, Let God..." Most often when we step back from a situation it just gives God more room to work
Ohhhhh, but it is soooo hard! And I miss my little Lolaa already!

Tis true.

Praying for you all.

 

[MorelCabin]

My daughter does the very same thing - uses my sweetie, now 5 yrs old, GD to manage me. On my Bday, I didn't hear from her (DD), and on FB thanked everyone from whom I did hear.

The very next day, she emailed and said that Miss S missed me and if I wanted, she would "let" Miss S talk to me on Skype.

I ignored the email. But gosh, I could cry right now about how much I miss my GD.

I don't know why some children turn out this way. You've done everything you could to raise her, help her, support her emotionally and financially, and still she turns on you. Its very very hard, and there will be more tears. I know. But do let go. Distance yourself. You GD will still love you and time will turn things around someday.

hugs to you.

I hope it never gets that bad for us. My heart hurts for you M.

 

[dragonlaurel]

Sorry you are going through this. I wish the baby wasn't stuck in the middle of it all.
Your daughter will eventually pull her head out of her rear and realize that it's time to grow up. Until then, she is toxic for you. Take some time to do something you enjoy. You might enjoy a cup of Tulsi/Holy Basil tea. It's used for stress, and tastes good. It helped get me through 2 years with a terrible boss before. (I was still there after he was finally fired.) It's at health food stores usually.

Wish you could use some chocolate therapy but I guess I better eat your share of the chocolate. Just doing my job to help.

 

[MorelCabin]

Sorry you are going through this. I wish the baby wasn't stuck in the middle of it all.
Your daughter will eventually pull her head out of her rear and realize that it's time to grow up. Until then, she is toxic for you. Take some time to do something you enjoy. You might enjoy a cup of Tulsi/Holy Basil tea. It's used for stress, and tastes good. It helped get me through 2 years with a terrible boss before. (I was still there after he was finally fired.) It's at health food stores usually.

Wish you could use some chocolate therapy but I guess I better eat your share of the chocolate. Just doing my job to help.

You can have my share of the chocolate if you pour me a cup of that tea...

 

[Beekissed]

Morel, are you still paying a lot of the bills? If so, I would let that stop right away. My sis is doing the same thing for her daughter and for much the same reason and is going through the exact same thing.

After awhile of not having enough money to have the lifestyle she so badly wants, I would offer a deal. $5000 for permanent guardianship of the child. If she is like my niece, I would see her going for it.

Long about right now both of the young women in question are seeing just how much a child hampers their social life and just may jump at the chance of having some money and freedom, plus the lack of guilt they can have by knowing that grandma will raise their child instead of a stranger.

I'll be praying for you and Lolaa.

 

[MorelCabin]

We stopped helping her financially a few months ago...she brags that the boyfriends mother brings her food all the time...but she is leaving him too now...so I am just going to sit back and watch her suffer the consequences of her idiotic selfishness for a while. And keep praying that Lolaa doesn't suffer any ill after effects from all of it. Thanks for your prayers Bee!

 

[Henrietta23]

I've seen a couple of cousins go through similar situations with their grown or not quite grown kids. I'm so sorry. I hope a little "suffering" and maturing time on her part resolves things.