I need words of wisdom from you folks
- Thread starter shareneh
- Start date
lorihadams
Always doing laundry
Wow, yeah, I agree with everyone else...I have suffered with depression and anxiety for a while now and I know how overwhelming everything can be. I could sit and watch tv, read a book, get on the computer, but when it came time to actually talk to someone I freaked out. I couldn't handle the kids, couldn't deal with my husband, I felt like everything I did was for nothing cause I would turn around and it would be the way it was before. I would be obsessive about everything but felt totally powerless. I was able to get in with a really good therapist and my doctor put me on cymbalta.
It sounds like your sister may have a depression/anxiety problem.
I also have a friend, my goddaughter's mother and grandmother have a similar problem. They have trash piled up everywhere, they have dogs and horses and there is poop everywhere in the house from either their shoes or the dogs, there are open electrical circuits hanging out of the walls, the kitchen is filthy, there is old food piled up and moldy everywhere...they are ebay junkies and there is so much stuff lying around you can't walk. We got tired of getting our goddaughter for visits and she would have diaper rashes that bled cause they wouldn't change her diapers. We called social services and they didn't do a darn thing...gave her a coupon for goodwill to get GD some shoes. Never followed up on anything. She's got money for cigarettes, alcohol, and a cell phone but can't buy her kids clothes or school supplies or fix the toilet and shower so they can bathe somewhere other than the sink.
I think you have done the right thing...just continue to be supportive and do what you can to help, keep checking on the condition of the house, offer to take the kids every couple of days, and go with her to the doctor and make sure she goes!
Good luck and hope all continues to go well.
It sounds like your sister may have a depression/anxiety problem.
I also have a friend, my goddaughter's mother and grandmother have a similar problem. They have trash piled up everywhere, they have dogs and horses and there is poop everywhere in the house from either their shoes or the dogs, there are open electrical circuits hanging out of the walls, the kitchen is filthy, there is old food piled up and moldy everywhere...they are ebay junkies and there is so much stuff lying around you can't walk. We got tired of getting our goddaughter for visits and she would have diaper rashes that bled cause they wouldn't change her diapers. We called social services and they didn't do a darn thing...gave her a coupon for goodwill to get GD some shoes. Never followed up on anything. She's got money for cigarettes, alcohol, and a cell phone but can't buy her kids clothes or school supplies or fix the toilet and shower so they can bathe somewhere other than the sink.
I think you have done the right thing...just continue to be supportive and do what you can to help, keep checking on the condition of the house, offer to take the kids every couple of days, and go with her to the doctor and make sure she goes!
Good luck and hope all continues to go well.
I think everyone has good advise for you. You did the right thing! My only piece of input is that, if you can possibly afford it, you might want to talk to an attorney who specializes in family law. S/he would be working for YOU and giving you advice specific to the laws of your state. I would look at the cost as an investment in your nieces future.
enjoy the ride
Sufficient Life
What a hard thing to do and to take on such responsibility- you have my admiration. That the 12 year old is so willing to help is an indication that whatever has been done, she's probably been doing it.
I hope for the best for your family-
I hope for the best for your family-
reinbeau
Moderator Extraordinaire
I would definitely try to keep social services out of it, however, your sister has got to understand that if she doesn't get help and stick with it that those kids could still be taken - it would be far better if there were an arrangement, if it came to that, that you got custody (as Bee and others have said, become their foster parent). Things look like they're looking up right now, but this situation didn't get this bad quickly, it isn't going to be sorted out quickly. Keep it in the family if you can, I hope things continue to progress - but if it comes to it, do what you can to get control of the children. The little girl who was a bed wetter probably felt very safe and secure, and slept through the night for the first time in ages. Poor little things, they know things aren't right, they just don't have the wherewithall to fix any of it.
If it comes to needing a lawyer most lawyers will talk to you initially for free. They may even give you the legal documents you need for free but, if they have to do the filing in court they will charge you. It will make it easy if you can work it out with your sister, which will probably take some time...like if you know she will sign over the kids... before you go to a lawyer.
MorelCabin
Quilting Extraordinaire
I really don't think I would worry too much about her wanting to take the kids back at this point, I think she is probably happy that you are helping her when she can't help herself. I think maybe she is just thankful for the present when everyone is going to pitch in a take care of her until she is ready for responsibility again
Keep in mind that right now you are helping her as a sister...she might get really defensive if she thinks you are going to go through legal motions to take her kids.
Keep in mind that right now you are helping her as a sister...she might get really defensive if she thinks you are going to go through legal motions to take her kids.
annmarie
Lovin' The Homestead
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It sounds like things are moving in the right direction! I'm so happy for you and your family. Be sure to take a step back and remind yourself that your sister's life didn't get this way in a day, and it won't be fixed in a day either. If it's mental illness she's dealing with keep in mind that there's no magic pill (even though the commercials would lead you to believe otherwise!), this is going to take time and patience and there will be setbacks!
