Paddling....

[FarmerChick]

I asked my parents about how they were disciplined.

They both were never hit or threatened in bad ways.

They were raised easy and happy--both sides of the families were loving types, not mean types.

Therefore us kids never got hit, oh yeah, sure the whack on the butt which meant nothing but kept us in line.

But the abuse I see on the board is frightening. I can't imagine growing up like that. I never had any fears from my parents and my daughter will never either. Same with Tony's said of the family....no one hits. Simple as that.


Very lucky here in my group of families.

 

[dragonlaurel]

People used to pretend to not know or say it wasn't their business. Now, society is trying to change things. It still happens but it's easier to get them caught, charged and to get out of the home. My Mom lost teeth from being hit as a kid. I think my Dad's family was okay.

BB- Ouch. That hurts to think about.

 

[Beekissed]

Geez--this thread is so depressing.

Here's a question I would like to ask: Was discipline of past generations truly abusive? Back in the day, everyone was getting beaten with a switch or other tool.

Today, that would cause a child to be sent to foster care. So, is this just parenting mores and societal views changing, or was it always abuse?

Also, did almost all parents discipline this way in the good ol' days?

We got whipped with a belt or switch. I didn't really consider the actual spanking as abusive....but the rage displayed while doing it was scarey and confusing. Also, we received little positive reinforcement, so all the negative reinforcement was less effective.

beaten with a switch or other tool.

If you've never been disciplined in this manner, you might not realize that being whipped and being beaten are two very different things. I know they both sound bad but I consider being whipped as a little more severe than a mere spanking(usually considered to be performed with only the hand).

A whipping is generally done with a keen, springy switch and it leaves fine red marks and even small welts that disappear rather quickly. It can also be done with a belt and also causes a stinging welt that leaves quickly. A paddle stings and leaves a general redness to the area that fades quickly also. No bruising or lasting marks are left with this form of discipline. I do not consider this as abuse if used correctly, rarely and as a last resort, and with only the correct amount of force.

Beaten, on the other hand, is as brutal as it sounds and has no place around children.....maybe in the prison system this would be an effective form of discipline This leaves large red welts that turn to bruises and sometimes break the skin and brings blood seeping to the surface. My father had this kind of discipline as a child, and the blood ran down his back and legs. This leaves marks that last for days and can often scar. This is abuse.

 

[2dream]

I was never abused but did on a few occasions (cough, cough well maybe more than a few) receive a few whippings with a switch that I had to go get. Which means I was sent to the hedge bush to get a switch. I learned quickly that if I brought back a tooth pick size switch my momma would go get one of her choosing and once a drug a limb in the house. Ouch, did not do that but once.
Once when I got caught stealing my dad used a belt. I never stole anything else. EVER.
There was nothing much worse for me than having to go choose that switch, bring it in the house and wacth my momma strip the leaves off of it. The switching was never that bad, but all that anticipation was horrible.

Edited at least 3 spelling errors. There are probably more.LOL

 

[me&thegals]

If you've never been disciplined in this manner, you might not realize that being whipped and being beaten are two very different things. I know they both sound bad but I consider being whipped as a little more severe than a mere spanking(usually considered to be performed with only the hand).

Unfortunately, I have.

Webster says:

Whip: to strike, as with a strap or rod.

Beat: to strike or hit repeatedly; to punish by striking repeatedly and hard; whip, flog, spank, etc.

I would say that any physical punishment done in anger is damaging and will teach the child to grow up and handle their own anger in physical ways.

I also agree that even bad parenting followed by love and positive reinforcement would be an improvement.

But, combine the two--physical, harsh discipline with lack of positive reinforcement, tenderness and love, and wow. As a grown parent now, I can honestly say that the physical discipline of my youth did NOT work, not even one tiny bit. Had my parents chosen instead to find the good and work with that, I think it would have been transformative.

 

[pioneergirl]

I came from an abusive home....broken ribs, constant bruises, missing teeth,etc. Since the town I lived in during my HS years was small, and my paternal grandfather was the sherriff, calling any service was no good. It was swept under the rug.

I have one son, and I can recall the 2 times he was spanked....once for smacking me in the face (1 healthy swat to the diaper for that) and another when I had told him twice to stay away from the light socket. I do not allow any more than that in my house. He knows what I say is the rule, and not to be questioned. Its not fear, its respect.

My sister on the other hand, who was never abused as a child, seems to think the wooden spoon or any other object is fine for repeated beatings. I feel so sorry for my neice, and there is nothing I can do (that is a long story in and of itself).

I made the choice to break the cycle of abuse and I hope others can do the same.

 

[farmerlor]

This thread IS depressing. I'll just say this: When we know better, we do better. In the old days that everyone rhapsodizes about so much, it was okay to take the kid out to the woodshed and knock a few bruises into them. No one questioned it and it was considered family business. Now we know that respect should be earned not beaten into someone. I treat my kids with respect and they respect me. I grew up with anger and fear and my children will not.
Getting back to the topic: if anyone ever touched my children in school, they'd better be prepared for an Irish amazon woman to remember the anger she grew up with.

 

[FarmerChick]

Getting back to the topic: if anyone ever touched my children in school, they'd better be prepared for an Irish amazon woman to remember the anger she grew up with.
_____
you made me smile on that one! no messin' with this Irish Momma!

 

[pioneergirl]

AGREED!!!!

 

[deb1]

Not everyone in the old days believed in spanking their children.

My grandmother was born in 1919. She never got a spanking when she was a child. Her father must not have believed in coporal punishment because he told off a teacher for slapping her once.

Strangely enough, my grandmother used the switch on her kids and her kids switched their children.

I did not use the switch on my own children.