Rebecca's journal-may be time to restart this

[BeccaOH]

I'll be praying for you.

Midlife crisis/stress/stupidity can happen to a man at 30. I've seen it in two recent cases that tore up two young "Christian" families. One was a case of reuniting with old friends who got him back into drinking and then into drugs. There other was a case of moving up in his job, his sense of respectability rose with new friends and new experiences that he didn't want to bring his wife and son into. They were no longer good enough.

Hang in there. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family.

 

[gettinaclue]

I so deeply sorry. Go get the lawyer rebeccca. Do what needs to be done.

 

[savingdogs]

It is not your fault, do not let this get to your self esteem. He did not appreciate his wonderful, intelligent, resourceful wife. Someday he will regret this.

I'd try to focus on the kids right now to keep your mind occupied. So sorry you had to have that talk with them this morning. I wish I were there to that man. Try to keep in mind that a lot of people value you and need you and think you are awesome, the loss will all be his.

 

[FarmerChick]

it isn't you or the kids

it is him wanting different

so at this point, please get a great lawyer this minute!!

crappola happens in life, thing is to protect yourself even going thru rollercoaster emotions

 

[Lady Henevere]

I'm so sorry. I was so hoping it was something minor. Stay strong and know that you will get through this.

 

[Marianne]

Is there a 'don't let the door hit you on the A$$ on the way out' group? I want in that one.

Get a lawyer and get this over with. Even if he comes back, you'll always be on pins and needles. That's not saying that you can't take up a relationship with him later, but I sure wouldn't.

 

[lorihadams]

I still think it is about the money deep down. For a while he has had to think about every decision he has had to make because of the money situation and now that he doesn't have to think about it he wants to see what it would be like to live on his own. It sucks, but it happens.

Just think, before he had to justify every purchase and every move he made by himself or as a couple and now that his income has tripled and sees the 20-somethings out living it up he realizes that if he just walks away he could do that too. It is more of a jealousy/selfishness thing. He sounds like he is curious to see what life would be like on his own without any responsibilities or ties. What he doesn't realize is that once you have kids you automatically have responsiblities and ties for life. He may think that he can just walk away from it all for a while but you need to make it so that he can't. You have to make him decide what he is going to do for his children. If he doesn't want you in his life anymore then that is his decision but his children aren't negotiable, or at least they shouldn't be.

He needs to understand that if he decides to walk away that there are consequences for it, one being financial support of his children and some sort of visitation responsiblities. I don't think it would be a bad idea to speak with an attorney to get all your ducks in a row.

 

[Wifezilla]

Does he have any idea what child support is running these days? And if the wife has been a stay at home mom, there is alimony while she transitions. If he thinks he is going to have lots of play money, boy is he in for a rude awakening!

 

[savingdogs]

I worked for a dentist whose wife had put him through college and he left her for an employee after he was finally in practice. The judge awarded her alimony while HE put HER through school and supported her children in the style to which HE had become accustomed. And many states will attach their wages if they do not pay (my husband does payroll, he says you'd be surprised how many men have to be forced to pay that way).

I feel so much for your kids, what he is doing is so unfair to them. Are you sure this is a good time to move them? If that house is in your name only, it seems logical to retain it and make as few changes in the lives of your kids as you can now.

 

[FarmerChick]

I am also a member of the 'don't let the door hit you in the azz' club


tell him to move out tonight when he comes home and GET a lawyer NOW

you were "were' STUNNED by this...now unstun yourself and go defensive

(of course this is me talking, the way I live my life...so mileage may vary as said before lol)