noobiechickenlady
Almost Self-Reliant
Bravo Morel!!
Could not have said it better
Could not have said it better
Spare the rod......Not a bible quote
- Thread starter clkingtx
- Start date
Morel, et al, you are right on target! I spanked my daughter, and she has given me permission to spank her girls if, as mentioned, they are openly defiant. We both believe that spanking is an effective tool in raising successful adults. The purpose of punishment and discipline is to shape the will, not break the spirit, however, so it is careful and explained, and immediate love and reconnection are made.
Some children are more rebellious than others right from the start, and respond only to a swat on the rear. Some kids you never have to spank at all. DD10 is one of those. She has a very sensitive spirit and always responded well to reasoned explanations.
DD4 needs correction because she feels that no one ought to be able to tell her what to do. She actually says: "I can choose for myself. You can't tell me what to do." When she puts those words into action, she needs to be reminded otherwise. After trying three other methods, my daughter (who is earning a masters in family and child therapy) is forced to resort to spanking.
Some children are more rebellious than others right from the start, and respond only to a swat on the rear. Some kids you never have to spank at all. DD10 is one of those. She has a very sensitive spirit and always responded well to reasoned explanations.
DD4 needs correction because she feels that no one ought to be able to tell her what to do. She actually says: "I can choose for myself. You can't tell me what to do." When she puts those words into action, she needs to be reminded otherwise. After trying three other methods, my daughter (who is earning a masters in family and child therapy) is forced to resort to spanking.
I think that it all basically boils down to.., you have to do whats right for YOUR child... (really it should have nothing to do with the bible)
Spanking does not work for ALL children... i was a perfect example of that... ooh, i was stubborn!
But i do know that it DOES work on many kids... (again, i'm talking about spankng not beating...)
honestly, its a case by case type of thing... IMO
Spanking does not work for ALL children... i was a perfect example of that... ooh, i was stubborn!
But i do know that it DOES work on many kids... (again, i'm talking about spankng not beating...)
honestly, its a case by case type of thing... IMO
MorelCabin
Quilting Extraordinaire
It's the stubborn ones that it was intended for 
My youngest has never needed a spanking either, he is just naturally compliant, and when he does something wrong it is not out of defiance or anything like that, it is more of a learning experience for him. My oldest got alot of spankings...never did any good, but at least I know I did my job And although he has alot of problems he can be very respectful too...
My middle one never needed any either, until it was too late...at 14 I would have loved to bruise her behind, but she was too old for it at that time
My youngest has never needed a spanking either, he is just naturally compliant, and when he does something wrong it is not out of defiance or anything like that, it is more of a learning experience for him. My oldest got alot of spankings...never did any good, but at least I know I did my job
And although he has alot of problems he can be very respectful too...My middle one never needed any either, until it was too late...at 14 I would have loved to bruise her behind, but she was too old for it at that time
LOL..yes, its true..it is the stubborn ones its intended for..
But with ME.. ooh no, i wasnt having it.... first you had to catch me.. then hold me down... then i'd sometimes laugh at them..(dont know why i found it funny.. :/ ) etc.. i dont know..it just never worked on me...
and they couldnt just keep hitting me.. know what i mean?? Heck.. they tried soap in the mouth.. i'd still be fighting them and swearing when they were putting the soap IN my mouth...lol...
If they locked me in my room for punishment..i'd beat and kick the door till i damaged it...
I was such a hellion...
And my brother was a PERFECT angel... he never gave my parents a hard time over anythng.. NOTHING. Kid was weird..if ya ask me...
But, yeah..its really a child by child situation..
But with ME.. ooh no, i wasnt having it.... first you had to catch me.. then hold me down... then i'd sometimes laugh at them..(dont know why i found it funny.. :/ ) etc.. i dont know..it just never worked on me...
and they couldnt just keep hitting me.. know what i mean?? Heck.. they tried soap in the mouth.. i'd still be fighting them and swearing when they were putting the soap IN my mouth...lol...
If they locked me in my room for punishment..i'd beat and kick the door till i damaged it...
I was such a hellion...
And my brother was a PERFECT angel... he never gave my parents a hard time over anythng.. NOTHING. Kid was weird..if ya ask me...
But, yeah..its really a child by child situation..
MorelCabin
Quilting Extraordinaire
But are you still a hellion? Or do you think before you do things that aren't right? I remember getting the giggles before a spanking a few times...and giggled right through...oh my dad would get so mad! It's hard to cry when you have the gigglesredhen said:LOL..yes, its true..it is the stubborn ones its intended for..
But with ME.. ooh no, i wasnt having it.... first you had to catch me.. then hold me down... then i'd sometimes laugh at them..(dont know why i found it funny.. :/ ) etc.. i dont know..it just never worked on me...
and they couldnt just keep hitting me.. know what i mean?? Heck.. they tried soap in the mouth.. i'd still be fighting them and swearing when they were putting the soap IN my mouth...lol...
If they locked me in my room for punishment..i'd beat and kick the door till i damaged it...
I was such a hellion...
And my brother was a PERFECT angel... he never gave my parents a hard time over anythng.. NOTHING. Kid was weird..if ya ask me...
But, yeah..its really a child by child situation..
ducks4you
Almost Self-Reliant
Great Thread!!! My DD's are ALL adults--(with their May birthdays, NEXT month they will be) 22, 27 and 30 years old. They are ALL gainfully employed. They all worked part time since they were 16, while working on their Bachelor's, including youngest DD, who graduates from the University of Illinois this sunday, with honors, while working an AVERAGE of 25-30 hours a week at a local retail store.
None of them would have any kind of useful work ethic without having learned discipline, the big "D" word that too many Americans believe is a dirty word, a way to beat your children into submission. Anybody who plays and instrument or learns a sport or advances in their profession has been taught discipline, restraint and wisdom by his/her parents.
The WORST thing to do to a child is to not direct them, but let them learn ALL of life's lessons the HARD WAY, through bad experiences. Some people have enough stubborn in them that they must learn some lessons that way, and a parent has to let them go about doing that, without interference, just like in the the prodigal son. (If you interfere it's like teaching a pig to sing~you'll frustrate yourself and irritate the pig!! )
None of them would have any kind of useful work ethic without having learned discipline, the big "D" word that too many Americans believe is a dirty word, a way to beat your children into submission. Anybody who plays and instrument or learns a sport or advances in their profession has been taught discipline, restraint and wisdom by his/her parents.
The WORST thing to do to a child is to not direct them, but let them learn ALL of life's lessons the HARD WAY, through bad experiences. Some people have enough stubborn in them that they must learn some lessons that way, and a parent has to let them go about doing that, without interference, just like in the the prodigal son. (If you interfere it's like teaching a pig to sing~you'll frustrate yourself and irritate the pig!!
)OOh, now i'm fine.. (well at least i think so anyways...lol)MorelCabin said:But are you still a hellion? Or do you think before you do things that aren't right? I remember getting the giggles before a spanking a few times...and giggled right through...oh my dad would get so mad! It's hard to cry when you have the gigglesredhen said:LOL..yes, its true..it is the stubborn ones its intended for..
But with ME.. ooh no, i wasnt having it.... first you had to catch me.. then hold me down... then i'd sometimes laugh at them..(dont know why i found it funny.. :/ ) etc.. i dont know..it just never worked on me...
and they couldnt just keep hitting me.. know what i mean?? Heck.. they tried soap in the mouth.. i'd still be fighting them and swearing when they were putting the soap IN my mouth...lol...
If they locked me in my room for punishment..i'd beat and kick the door till i damaged it...
I was such a hellion...
And my brother was a PERFECT angel... he never gave my parents a hard time over anythng.. NOTHING. Kid was weird..if ya ask me...
But, yeah..its really a child by child situation..
Nah.. i never got in trouble with the law or anything else growing up..
I always knew right from wrong ...
Now i'm a foster parent for high risk teens... and sometimes i wish....
lolBut see.. working for the state..you CANT ever spank the kids.. (teens are too old anyways.. )
All we can do is give them consequences for their actions and hope that it sinks in someday... *sigh*
Quail_Antwerp
Cold is on the Right, Hot is on The Left
I will have to disagree with the "teens are too old for spankings" politely, of course!
When I was 14 I chose to sneak out of the house with my 18 year old friend - of course it was her idea, she was a preacher's kid and she was always sneaking out at home - never got caught - until this time.
It was 1 am and we had not counted on my 16 yr old sister to come home that late. She did, woke our parents up, asked where I was, and mom came looking for us.
She found us at a party where there were a lot of teen boys and drinking and well - you get the picture. Mom was screaming my name - and I was hiding behind a dog box. I knew I was going to get it. She finally threatened to call the cops if they didn't produce me, so the owner of the home found me, pointed to my mom and said, "GO".
It was the complete and total ruin of my road to the "popular" crowd - and a fast highway to being bent over and spanked!
I'll tell you what, though, I never tried that again!
When I was 14 I chose to sneak out of the house with my 18 year old friend - of course it was her idea, she was a preacher's kid and she was always sneaking out at home - never got caught - until this time.
It was 1 am and we had not counted on my 16 yr old sister to come home that late. She did, woke our parents up, asked where I was, and mom came looking for us.
She found us at a party where there were a lot of teen boys and drinking and well - you get the picture. Mom was screaming my name - and I was hiding behind a dog box. I knew I was going to get it. She finally threatened to call the cops if they didn't produce me, so the owner of the home found me, pointed to my mom and said, "GO".
It was the complete and total ruin of my road to the "popular" crowd - and a fast highway to being bent over and spanked!
I'll tell you what, though, I never tried that again!
noobiechickenlady
Almost Self-Reliant
When I snuck out at 16, pushed my car out of the driveway & got caught, I could only have dreamed of getting a spanking & it all being over with.
Nope, I lost my brand new (to me) car. First time ever to own one, had it for about a month, lost it for 2... I had to walk to school... Only a mile or so, but still. The humiliation!!
Hehehe, I was a hellion too. But I can say, looking back, I did not get ENOUGH spankings.
I once got ice cream when I was in time out. I was 4 or so, but I remember it vividly. Honestly... ice cream?
I think it boils down to a healthy dose of fear & respect. Be that fear of disapproval, of letting the parents down, fear of the strap if it is serious enough, fear of the consequences.
I never drove after drinking when I was young, nor since! Never once. My father told me he would let me sit in jail until the court date if it ever happened, plus he told me horror stories of people who had killed friends & relatives because of drunk driving. I was afraid of going to jail, of disapointing my dad & of killing someone.
Nope, I lost my brand new (to me) car. First time ever to own one, had it for about a month, lost it for 2... I had to walk to school... Only a mile or so, but still. The humiliation!!
Hehehe, I was a hellion too. But I can say, looking back, I did not get ENOUGH spankings.
I once got ice cream when I was in time out. I was 4 or so, but I remember it vividly. Honestly... ice cream?
I think it boils down to a healthy dose of fear & respect. Be that fear of disapproval, of letting the parents down, fear of the strap if it is serious enough, fear of the consequences.
I never drove after drinking when I was young, nor since! Never once. My father told me he would let me sit in jail until the court date if it ever happened, plus he told me horror stories of people who had killed friends & relatives because of drunk driving. I was afraid of going to jail, of disapointing my dad & of killing someone.
