This is frustrating.

[bibliophile birds]

The only frustrating thing is that everyone is happier to bail the two morons out of trouble whereas I'm to blame for any of my own.

just what i was about to say. my entire family is exceedingly poor at money management- something about having too much of it to ever learn to be smart with it. my parents are the "poorest" of the family and have always reminded us kids about that... just as they were jetting off to the home we own in the Bahamas for a 3 week vacation.

my siblings have NEVER paid a bill in their entire lives (they are 24 and 20). i paid for my education with my inheritance from my great-grandfather, paid all my own bills (went without electricity for 3 months when things got tight), and only asked for help from my parents when it was absolutely necessary. i wanted to do my it on my own, but my parents made it clear that they didn't intend on helping much anyway. yet my siblings have never gone without cable, much less electricity.

my sister is a young, single mom who is completely dependent on my parents. she doesn't work "because she's trying to finish school." my parents pay all her bills, including paying her credit card off every month. what does she spend THAT money on? clothes. for herself. every time i see her she's been shopping. and her daughter has every manner of toy and baby gadget known to man. and my mom keeps a second set of all the baby gadgets so they don't have to lug the stuff back and forth the 1/2 mile (in a car).

so, the other day, my sister said something snarky to me about how much money i spend on the birds- for feed and chicks and whatnot. of course, i snapped back about how she, of all people, really shouldn't be criticizing anyone for how they spend THEIR OWN money. my mom piped in with "well, we paid your bills while you were working abroad."

i just stood there in total shock. my parents paid my bills OUT OF MY OWN BANK ACCOUNT while i was WORKING in a place where i didn't have internet access. when i pointed this out, she then came back with "well, we also sent you to New Zealand to study."

again, i just stood there. my parents bought my plane ticket to NZ, which wasn't cheap, i'll admit, but that was the only money i saw from them for the entire trip. i took out a loan to pay for the tuition and my living costs. the loan that they were paying off WITH MY OWN MONEY while i was working abroad.

i just couldn't imagine how A) my parents thought it was ok for my siblings to get everything handed to them when they expected me to work for what i got and B) how my mom has convinced herself that she's shelled out THOUSANDS of dollars for my benefit, when it was MY money she was dealing with.

because i've lived/worked in a lot of exotic places, my family seems to think that i've cost them (and myself) a fortune, when, in reality, i'm very frugal and have basically been on my own for 10 years.

 

[freemotion]

Funny, BBH, when you asked about how to wash that silk duvet cover I figured it was given to you or you found it at GoodWill or something!

A recent favorite and typical conversation: I was suggesting that a certain student would do very well to hire a tutor for a couple of hours to bring herself up to speed. The school provides a list of qualified tutors, all recommended highly by instructors, who are only allowed to charge $15 per hour.

As this morbidly obese student sucked on the straw coming from her gigantic Starbucks iced coffee, she told me that there was no way she could afford to hire a tutor for even an hour.

I didn't bother to say what was on my mind, as I sipped from my re-usable glass swing-top bottle filled with kombucha-chai tea made at home by myself for about twelve cents a bottle. With water from the faucet. Imagine that. (Similar tea costs $4 a bottle at Whole Foods.)

 

[xpc]

For the record, my silk duvet cover was a hand-me-down from some (rich) friends.

I can't believe you would think I insinuated otherwise and didn't know what a duvet was until the other day. I just started collecting cans on the side of the road just to buy one. http://tinyurl.com/2cxdnrf

I don't begrudge people who make good money and buy the niceties, its the people who can't afford it but still do. If they miss one paycheck everything starts to crumble, payday loans only exasperates the problem leading them farther into doom.

I scrimped and saved for many years so I could take it easy in my near retirement, I forwent the $40,000 trucks and cars, the giant screen TVs and such that needed $100 a month cable connections. My friends however went the other way and now that they are too old to ever save enough for retirement and mired in debt that even their grandchildren couldn't pay off look to me for help because I have (had) money.

Phooey on them I say, and though it may be morally reprehensible for me to run and hide like I did - I left no one in dire straights, I gave them all links to computer budgeting programs and told them to stop spending.

 

[big brown horse]

Are you going to get this one? http://lazypatch.com/

I get what you mean, I just thought you were teasing me.

 

[Blackbird]

Hilarious.

I think this thread is where I learned what a duvet is;
http://www.sufficientself.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=2979&p=2

Duvet talk galore!

 

[lupinfarm]

My parents have credit cards, quite a few.. maybe 4 or 5 between the two of them, a mortgage and a leased car. I have a credit card that has about $1500 in debt on it. I can pay that down pretty quickly when a part-time job though, its just there aren't any in my area (moving soon).

Our issue is that my dad makes quite a good chunk of money. We're not the average Canadian family, despite the fact that I always thought I was lol, my dad tells me we're well off and so on. The thing is, my dad works as a computer consultant, self-employed and on contract. His contracts have 30 days to pay up after billing. Often they cut it close at the end of the 30 days. Or pay up 10 days late. Or whatever. That leaves us in a pickle, having to use credit cards to pay for bills until he gets paid.

We try to live off the farm as best we can but living in Ontario means that we are frozen a good 6 months of the year. Mum wants to get into 4 season growing if she can, and is even starting up sewing again to supplement income between my dad getting paid.

I never once had namebrand clothing as a kid, and still don't really. I wore all kinds of nice kid clothes when I was very young but that was before my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumour. After that, after he lost his permanent job and became self-employed I went without a lot. It was okay. It was frustrating to see all my friends in their Etnies shoes, and DC shoes with their Ipods and fancy West49 clothing. I got my first pair of real namebrand shoes when I was probably 17, because I paid for them myself working at Mr. Sub doing 8 hour shifts 4 days a week. I had asked for DC shoes when I was 13 and mum took me to Alkatraz to look at them and promptly walked out saying absolutely no way.

So I'm not average. and we're not poor. not at all, we're... lacking funds at times through no fault of our own but I have luxuries some people don't have. I understand and I am super greatful for what I have.







Right now mum has $83 in her account to last until maybe the end of the month. Or maybe the 10th of July (when she normally gets paid, but things like dads business taxes have really taken a toll this year so she's been getting half of her grocery/living money at one point and another and... whenever it comes).

 

[lupinfarm]

I just thought of this RIGHT NOW. I was talking about this to my mum the other day. When I was a kid Rainbow Bread was ALL THE RAGE. Like seriously, if you were cool your ham sandwich was made with RAINBOW bread.



I wasn't allowed to have rainbow bread, it was a dollar more than regular whole wheat. Thus I was not a very cool kid. But I'm kind of glad I didn't have rainbow bread (or sparkly ketchup), because my kids won't have flippers instead of arms

 

[FarmerChick]

I listen to others complain about their lives and their financial problems but it never bothers me. It is their life and reality and I can't and won't ever say how they should spend their money. I take care of myself.

I was lucky and grew up with alot but also learned to be frugal when needed cause that extra money was put into savings for hard times.

So even the people with alot of money can be frugal for all the right reasons.

I say you make a buck, you spend it how you want, you screw it up, so be it....I will listen to ur woes but in the end could care less how people spend their time and money.

just me, I can't worry about others and their problems to where it will make me mad or upset, but sometimes they just want to tell their worries to others and I listen then I go home and laugh LOL

 

[xpc]

Are you going to get this one? http://lazypatch.com/

Was there ever a thread that stayed on subject?
That full down suit with boots would be perfect and for less than $200 shipped. The Aussies lazypatch beats the snuggie hands down. And to think I was just about to waste $3000 putting in a heat pump next month.

 

[FarmerDenise]

ldychef, yup, I would be frustrated too!!!