What are we doing to help our neighbors?

enjoy the ride

Sufficient Life
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I occasionally wish for someone to give me a hand but expect it? No- The world is not obligated to me. If I do something for a neighbor, I do it because it makes me feel better about myself and living up to my own standards.
If something is "given" with the expectation of a return, then it isn't a gift, it is a sale. And if a person has expectations that he will receive the exact measure of kindness he expended, then he will constantly be judging everyone and feeling the world owes him more. He will never be happy.

Sometimes, though, you will get a nice surprise. I was at Costco, buying 4 40 lbs sacks of dog food yesterday. They are just at the edge of my ability to lift and get into the cart. As I was getting ready to do my first "heave ho" a man who was walking by asked if I could use a hand and proceeded to load all 4 into my cart. Of course I thanked him profusely but he did it because he is who he is, not because I am who I am.

Now there are people who are serious takers- sort of life vacuum cleaners. Those people I have no problems only doing what I feel I can reasonably do. But on the whole, warmth of giving is the reward. If I had to determine who was worthy of my attention, I would have to spend too much time looking for the bad in people. That would really be a drag.
 

erthymom2

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we have a long standing barter understanding w/our nextdoor nieghbor...
we mow, he plows
he cleans our pool, we cut his scrap wood up
we pass him chickens & eggs, he passes us venison and garlic

the list goes on & on. We both help each other out and our family's have grown up together and gone thru alot to support and share together. when he went thru his divorce - we were there with freezer homemade meals (he's a 60 hour a week contractor)and tilled & planted his garden when it was time and he was out of town on a building project.
He stripped and re-shingled our garage for us on a long weekend off so we could use the time to paint the house & trim.
family & close friends - thats what makes life good.
 

rebecca100

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I had to join just so I could respond to this one question. I heard the story of that man and it made me cry to think that could happen, the man was just a couple of years older than my dad, who also has trouble keeping his bill paid and is a widow and was a vet and on limited income. It makes me VERY angry that it could happen because nobody cared. Okay, sorry for the rant. As for help people, we do help my dad pay his bills, my dh works for a propane co. and does what he can to lower people's prices, or do repairs and work to people's tanks for free(not to the co. knowledge sometimes, since repair work is quite expensive and they believe in charging for EVERYTHING!) often it is on his own time too. We try to help when we can, unfortunately it is usually the people who refuse to say they need help that need it the most. I have to believe that is how that man was, or that he had no family, because if he had family or told anyone he needed help, how could anyone have not cared?
 

Beekissed

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erthymom2 said:
we have a long standing barter understanding w/our nextdoor nieghbor...
we mow, he plows
he cleans our pool, we cut his scrap wood up
we pass him chickens & eggs, he passes us venison and garlic

the list goes on & on. We both help each other out and our family's have grown up together and gone thru alot to support and share together. when he went thru his divorce - we were there with freezer homemade meals (he's a 60 hour a week contractor)and tilled & planted his garden when it was time and he was out of town on a building project.
He stripped and re-shingled our garage for us on a long weekend off so we could use the time to paint the house & trim.
family & close friends - thats what makes life good.
THAT sounds like Heaven!! :)

Welcome to you both! I hope you enjoy our little forum!

I used to know a neighborhood like that and I tried to stay all night at that particular friend's house as much as possible when I was a teen. Our own neighborhood was filled with suspicious, untrustworthy, unfriendly folks~my dad was not easy to get along with either, so it wasn't a nice place to live.

My neighborhood I live in now is filled with people who know each other but do not go out of their way to be friendly or to help one another....but they will gossip a lot about each other! :p Its real sad, you know? I try to pass out eggs, apples, veggies and smiles as much as possible, but I don't know if it sinks in at all. :/
 

Catalina

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Beekissed said:
My neighborhood I live in now is filled with people who know each other but do not go out of their way to be friendly or to help one another....but they will gossip a lot about each other! :p Its real sad, you know? I try to pass out eggs, apples, veggies and smiles as much as possible, but I don't know if it sinks in at all. :/
That sounds like my neighborhood.
I've given jam, fruit and veggies to my neighbors and when they gave me some leaves for my garden (grudgingly gave them after I asked for them) I brought that neighbor a thank you card and cookies.
They wouldn't give me any leaves this year!!
So I didn't give them anything either, but it makes me feel bad.
 

Beekissed

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Funny isn't it? I offered to buy some potatoes off my neighbor as they always have an excess in the spring that they try to get rid of. So...when mine did poorly this year and I wanted to stock up my cellar for the winter, I asked them if I could buy some, as their potatoes did very well.

They said they wouldn't sell me any but did drop off a small bag of their cull potatoes that were about the size of a golf ball. I thanked them graciously but I couldn't help but wonder why they wouldn't sell me a bag of decent potatoes. I give them fresh eggs every time I see them and several bags of apples...as many as they and their daughters care to pick. But sell me a bag of potatoes? Nope.

Folks get stingy about the oddest things. :rolleyes: Like leaves....funny about that!
 

SKR8PN

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Catalina said:
Beekissed said:
My neighborhood I live in now is filled with people who know each other but do not go out of their way to be friendly or to help one another....but they will gossip a lot about each other! :p Its real sad, you know? I try to pass out eggs, apples, veggies and smiles as much as possible, but I don't know if it sinks in at all. :/
That sounds like my neighborhood.
I've given jam, fruit and veggies to my neighbors and when they gave me some leaves for my garden (grudgingly gave them after I asked for them) I brought that neighbor a thank you card and cookies.
They wouldn't give me any leaves this year!!
So I didn't give them anything either, but it makes me feel bad.
The thing about the leaves is funny!! I also have a Trac-Vac that fits on my tractor that I use to suck up my leaves. I do my neighbors yard when I do mine. She loves not having to worry about raking them, and I get the leaves!! ;) Win-win !!
 

2dream

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I know all my neighbors - we all get along fairly well but we all pretty much keep our distance in most cases. It took years to develope a happy balance. We seem to be the only people in the neighborhood who found it necessary to purchase rakes, hoes, shovels, power tools, etc. Neighbors were constantly asking to borrow and the next time we needed a tool we had to go ask if we could have it back. After a while it turned into US borrowing THEIR whatever. Seems they had kept it so long it became theirs.

We have even loaned our spare car for over a month to one neighbor. It took getting nasty to get it back. Go figure.

It reached a point that noone even bothered to ask, they just came and got whatever they needed while we were at work. So after we repurchased everything that was missing it all went under lock and key. After about 2 years of hearing things from us like "Nope, use to have one but it disappeared" or "Yep have one but was just about to use it", and my famous line to one neighbor who was a constant can I borrow person was, "You do know they sell those at Lowes, Home Depot, Harbor Freight and even Walmart".

I do give my neighbors eggs and we give extra produce from the garden to anyone in the neigborhood who needs or wants it. They all know if they need any help at all we will be there to jump in.

But I learned the hard way that to much to often can breed way to many expectations, liberties and abuses. Which will in the end lead to hurt feelings and unkind words.

So to my way of thinking - even when we do a kindness out of the goodness of our hearts - with nothing expected in return - after a while that NOTHING IN RETURN thing can get old if your kindness is being abused.
 
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