What if DH/DW Couldn't?

FarmerJamie

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do you have a local organization for the elderly that can help out? we have one for our county and they can do some things for helping people out, bringing meals, having caretakers come in so the people can take a break, etc.
It's not to that level of need. The wife is able to self care and light driving and shopping.

I work a full-time job. In my previous situation, I spent entire weekends working around the house and weekends being the chauffeur to kid events.
Missed a lot of fun activity stuff with the kids (rectifying that now).

I find myself reacting to the fear I am getting drawn into the "no time for me" world. Even when I do just sit down and read, I feel guilty I could have been working on something.

The canning adventure was fun and I am glad I did it, but nothing else got done in the duration
 

FarmerJamie

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A year later. Wow. I sold the Lindale farm, closed in 63 days. I worked on sons rent house that wasn’t fit to rent. I moved all my farm stuff that I could by myself. And believe me, that was a lot of trailer loads. LOL Neighbors helped me make a load of stuff. The buyers packed up household items in their cargo trailer and moved a load. Friends packed up another load in the cargo trailer and we moved it. Had to build pens for sheep and dogs, build fence. Finally moved sheep and dogs. Exhausted, I got Covid again.

Found a 25 acre farm with a 22 year old Doublewide in near perfect shape in April, finally closed July 15. I redid interior. Sellers helped me put up 2 long stretches of fence, they graze their cows on the front and back field, sheep have middle field. Moved in August 27, moved sheep and dogs next day. I still have lots of stuff at sons house. While I was there, I hired workmen and got it all fixed up.

Went to Tennessee with @Ridgetop and her DH to visit another BYH member and buy their ram. 1500 mile round trip. Had a blast! We rested a day, went to Austin area for them to introduce me to one of the best Anatolian breeders in the country and gave me their stamp of approval. He has 2 females out to be bred.

I’ve had a lot of loss. One month to the day after losing the love of my life, I had to put down Paris, 13 year old Great Pyrenees, who didn’t understand why her Daddy didn’t come home. My best and favorite ewe, Miranda, slipped and shattered her leg, had to put her down. I lost 5 lambs to various causes. When I had Covid for the second time, a registered ewe prolapsed, couldn’t get a vet out, too weak and sick to help her. Had a friend shoot her. My big baby, sweet Great Pyrenees, Trip, had cancer and was put down in July. It broke my heart that he never got to see the new farm.

I’ve really had it with loss, heartbreak, grief and death. I’m strong, maybe I’m taking a hit for someone who can’t handle it. So be it.

Had knee replacement surgery 2 weeks ago tomorrow. @Ridgetop and her DH picked me up at hospital, she stayed 3 nights with me. Lifesaver! Son came in off a job, was here 3 nights, gone again on another job. Have a friend hired to come twice a day to take care of dogs and sheep. I’m blessed. I fed dogs and sheep this evening but wasn’t up to dragging the water hose. I’ll get there. I’m taking Physical Therapy twice a week. It hurts.

Farm is beautiful. I got a lot of work to do, probably never get finished but that’s ok. I’m happy here. I’m home. I’m going to increase my flock to 30 ewes. Lots of fencing to get done. Can’t do it all by myself, I’ll figure it out. I want horses again. I’ve lived in pain for so long, I hope I can ride and not be in pain and agony.

BJ would have loved the farm. We were already thinking about moving here to Trinity county. Well, here I am. Tomorrow is a new day.
Knowing what you have persevered, I feel almost embarrassed with my issues.

You are an inspiration
 

CLSranch

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A possible cheap way to insulate a metal handle is a piece of an old water hose split slid around it and electrical taped back up. I do this with 5 gallon buckets to make it bigger/more comfortable before the little white handle breaks and leaves a skinny piece of metal. Plus I tape the plastic handle before it breaks (well I try) so it last longer.
I find myself reacting to the fear I am getting drawn into the "no time for me" world. Even when I do just sit down and read, I feel guilty I could have been working on something.

The canning adventure was fun and I am glad I did it, but nothing else got done in the duration
Hang in there FJ.🤝
I hate to say I feel bad everyday I'm home knowing I should've done more for the wife while I'm home to make it easier when I'm gone. Yea Bay makes me look bad too and I'm a young pup so I still say.
On the what if.... Either one of us would sell most of the stock. If I worked local I could take care of everything and work a 40 easy.
 

tortoise

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do you have a local organization for the elderly that can help out? we have one for our county and they can do some things for helping people out, bringing meals, having caretakers come in so the people can take a break, etc.
Doesn't hurt to check with 4-H to see if they can help. My club just took on a service project to clean up/rake someone's yard. They were in a car accident and can't do their fall cleanup tis year.
 

baymule

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Knowing what you have persevered, I feel almost embarrassed with my issues.

You are an inspiration
Your issues are real, they are important and in the back of your mind, that “what if” strikes terror in your heart. All I can tell you is make every day count. Y’all watching a chic flic together for the pleasure it gives her, the little things, the smiles, bringing her a cup of coffee, treasure these moments. You know what? You will remember those things and you will forget that last Thursday you didn’t sweep the floor.

Don’t feel embarrassed, I’m a freakin’ bulldozer crossed with a hurricane. Ain’t too many that can keep up with that.
 

murphysranch

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I can hardly believe this thread came up. Thank you FJ for bringing it back, even tho I didn't know about it.

I'm still sick. Haven't been sick since 2019 late fall. A sore throat and now a runny nose. Second week.

My thoughts these last two days, since hubs is off in another city in CA trying to earn some money doing painting, is that when he goes (before me) I cannot live here. I'm not Bay, even tho we are the same age. I'm just not knowledge enough for farm life, even tho I wanted to be a cowgirl from my 6th birthday party on. Gardening and chickens is the most I can do.

Hubs was diag with very very early signs of dementia. He's on two meds right now, not for dementia, but for mood. Its made a huge world of difference. I've been trying to be more positive with him and find that it has repaired alot of our previously broken marriage.
 

baymule

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I can hardly believe this thread came up. Thank you FJ for bringing it back, even tho I didn't know about it.

I'm still sick. Haven't been sick since 2019 late fall. A sore throat and now a runny nose. Second week.

My thoughts these last two days, since hubs is off in another city in CA trying to earn some money doing painting, is that when he goes (before me) I cannot live here. I'm not Bay, even tho we are the same age. I'm just not knowledge enough for farm life, even tho I wanted to be a cowgirl from my 6th birthday party on. Gardening and chickens is the most I can do.

Hubs was diag with very very early signs of dementia. He's on two meds right now, not for dementia, but for mood. Its made a huge world of difference. I've been trying to be more positive with him and find that it has repaired alot of our previously broken marriage.
Know your strengths. Know your weaknesses. Make decisions that are right for you. If you give thought to that now, it may be easier in the future. If chickens and a garden are what you want, then make that decision and make it happen. In the meantime, live each day to the fullest.
 

CLSranch

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Know your strengths. Know your weaknesses. Make decisions that are right for you. If you give thought to that now, it may be easier in the future. If chickens and a garden are what you want, then make that decision and make it happen. In the meantime, live each day to the fullest.
You are just a blessing to every page that you join in.
 
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