What if DH/DW Couldn't?

[tortoise]

Those of us with a partner or spouse might differentiate work between "his" and "hers" tasks. Smart plan! Until someone get sick, injured, or dies.

What does your partner/spouse/family do that would be difficult for you to do? Can you learn to do the tasks? Can you outsource them? Can you do without?

 

[Trying2keepitReal]

It would be difficult for me to do anything mechanical, it just doesn't come natural for me. My DH does pretty much all the fixing and set up around the house/property. I usually assist--his runner basically. I could probably learn to do some-like change the oil on the car or replace window clips or something but to try and do electrical or plumbing I would have to reach out to family/friends or hire from the outside. Living in the country I don't think that I could live without.

One the flip side, DH would say that he has NO clue what the kids schedule is, how they like their oatmeal/others favs or how to braid hair but he would manage.

 

[tortoise]

@Trying2keepitReal inspired this thread. It's something that's on my mind often.

My farm is very very good for my physical health. However, I currently could not maintain the property or our SS adventures without DH.

• Lawnmowing
• Pasture mowing / bush hogging
• Fencing
• Making hay
• Sorting sheep, catching and moving them, such as for shearing and loading culls/market lambs for auction
• Castrating lambs
• Trimming hooves (I could probably learn this I have done goat hooves a couple times, but no guarantee my grip strength is sufficient)
• Anything preventative health - DH is a veterinarian so I have never needed to learn anything about it.
• Harvesting and butchering - DH does everything from grazing to primal cuts. I can manage from there. I have done rabbits (hated it) and can do chickens after DH skins them. I can't pluck chickens because of grip strength, even the scalding them part is not within my abilities (we have a mechanical plucker)
• Cutting wood for heat, and getting it dried, and moved to the house, and moving more wood to the house in winter
• Anything outdoors in cold weather. I have cold intolerance and touching metal items in winter (bucket handles, hydrant handle, latches) is excruciating painful. This is why I don't raise rabbits, opening cage latches for daily care was too painful in winter.

I'm stopping now because it's difficult to think about everything I can't do (yet?) Maybe we can learn from each other an solve some of these problems so we are more capable of managing when our spouses/partners/family are unable to do their typical SS tasks.

 

[Trying2keepitReal]

Thankfully we only have chickens, for now, but I tend to them 100%. DH built the coop and then he was like "ok done".

I also currently do all the lawn mowing-but DH does the plowing, which I could figure out if needed, but it is so cold and I hate slippery anything. I hate weed wackers-so I hand trim but I could use one if needed. I also can split wood but I would NOT be able to down a tree, a little scary for this lady.

 

[tortoise]

Building a chute system and training my sheep to it would solve the sheep handling problems. However, DH sees no point in it, and I can't build it myself. Someday DH is going to get seriously injured when sorting sheep and have a change of heart.

I bought a moldable rubber to put over latches. I need to install my prototypes on my chicken coop door. I want to replace the metal bucket we use in the barn. The handle is bent so that it's easy to slash water on one's legs (and I do too often!). I would use the moldable rubber to cover the bucket handle. This is low priority because DH has been willing to do winter chores, but it's a problem I CAN solve.

 

[FarmerJamie]

In my case, I do 95% now. The 5% the DW does is stuff she CAN do, and I asked her to own those tasks, if just to take the load off of me.

Chronic illnesses are the worst. Without me, she would be hard pressed to do the canning, etc.

The first wife and I could do stuff interchangeablely, she just chose not too. Lolol

Looking forward to seeing other's responses

 

[tortoise]

If I could fence and move sheep, I might be able to avoid lawn mowing. But sheep will preferentially eat my landscaping. Hire lawnmowing service or remove/sell landscaping plants and fence my yard as pasture?

We mow to reduce harborage for snakes and rodents.

 

[tortoise]

In my case, I do 95% now. The 5% the DW does is stuff she CAN do, and I asked her to own those tasks, if just to take the load off of me.

Chronic illnesses are the worst. Without me, she would be hard pressed to do the canning, etc.

The first wife and I could do stuff interchangeablely, she just chose not too. Lolol

Looking forward to seeing other's responses

You know I feel this pretty hard. Empathy for your wife's struggles and sympathy for your burden.

I couldn't can by myself until I bought electric canners. With the Presto digital pressure canner, it holds the temp in the jar warming phase so I don't have to be cognitively able to time prepping the canner and jars and the food. I prep the food, refrigerate it, then reheat it and can it a different day. I set the electric water bath canner on the floor so I can do my canning while sitting down. I know there's a lot more to all the steps to modify, but the electric canners were a huge difference for me. Getting small batch canning books helped too. I like the Food in Jars canning cookbooks and Small Batch Canning and Preserving. I mostly do small batches, but 3 pints here and there adds up without exhausting me.

 

[Cecilia's-life]

If DW suddenly died, I would probably have to give up the farm. I’m pregnant, not working, and don’t have siblings. Only my parents. She is the sole provider of the household

 

[frustratedearthmother]

My situation is a lot like @FarmerJamie's. My DH's health is compromised (and he's a city boy) lol.

I do the majority of SS stuff around here. DH does what he can. He can ride the lawnmower and he can do some weed whacking - just not a lot at a time. He's burning some limbs now that the baby hurricane blew down a few weeks ago. But, all animal chores are mine, except he feeds the dogs when he can.

I take care of the electric fence and pen building. He usually hangs the gates with my help. Pasture perimeter fence was done by me, a neighbor and some students that helped me out occasionally. That was a while ago and hopefully never has to be done again, lol.

I buy the feed, I unload the feed and I feed the feed. I unload and move the round bales with my trusty tractor! I love my tractor, lol. I butcher. He generally does the shooting (but not always) and I carry on from there. I skin, I gut, and (clumsily) cut up the meat. From there I do the freezer wrapping to canning and until recently - cooking. He's been cooking lately and is getting really good in the kitchen!

I like to cook and when I do I am the messiest cook in the world. I use every spoon, fork, pot, pan but he cleans them all up for me.

I can even change tires, lol.

He does take a supporting role - but it helps me immensely. I guess if DH passed I could carry on. Would I want to.... dunno.