Beekissed
Mountain Sage
I think that's why they are trying to buy it all and use it all up while they are here.... 
what to do when your spouse doesn't "get it"...ss that is!
- Thread starter lorihadams
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hqueen13
<Insert Snazzy Title Here
Got one of those princesses at my workplace right now who is making a play for a coworker ... her husband is clueless. None of us wants to witness it (we all have work to do), but she is too self-centered and oblivious to think of the distraction she creates. Nice. Divorce is expensive, and a life plan disrupter.
FarmerChick
Super Self-Sufficient
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wow old thread
my post was about 2 yrs ago on this thread...2009 and now 2011 and here I am putting in an update.
Tony has not changed. A tad SS, then he could care less, than a tad SS, then he could care less LOL
Me, I backed off being so 'intense' SS as I was back then.
So while he sure didn't change much, I did in my way of SS
it was easier to change me a bit, than change him 
my post was about 2 yrs ago on this thread...2009 and now 2011 and here I am putting in an update.
Tony has not changed. A tad SS, then he could care less, than a tad SS, then he could care less LOL
Me, I backed off being so 'intense' SS as I was back then.
So while he sure didn't change much, I did in my way of SS
it was easier to change me a bit, than change him This is exactly what i was going to post on here today.... Guess all great minds think alike: 
Anyways, DH and i both grew up on farms in WI. Except we grew up very different. Although him and his brother did TONS of work on the farm they also go paid to do the work and got lots of toys, electronics, etc. Not saying thats a bad thing necessarily, but me and my sisters and younger brother all worked on the farm alot and parents just never had enough money to pay us. We barely had enough money to buy food, pay bills, buy feed for the animals. So when I turned 12 i went out and got a job. Pretty much til i moved out at 18 i paid for everything of my own. Clothes, school lunch, groceries sometimes, everything else a teenager needs. Bought my first car at 16 with CASH. And still had 5000 left in my acct. So frugality kinda runs in my family and in me because of necessity. Anyways, im now 28 with 2 kids. In the recent months i have really found the importance of being more SS and saving money. When i make my own dairy products, lotion, chapstick, laundry detergent, not only is it more economical but I also know what is in the product.
Unfortunetly these things do take alot of time. I work 6 days/week - 6-7 hrs/day on a farm. It a pretty stressful job and physically demanding. We are running into some problems where the housekeeping isnt as great as it could be because im spending alot of time on my SS stuff which is important to me. Its not bad by anymeans, but theres some laundry not done, dishwasher isnt always ran, and the floors arent always vaccumed. Not the end of the world. At least not to me... DH had the kids the other day at his Army Xmas party so when i got home from work i realized that i had like 2 hours all to myself before they got home. So i decided that 2 hrs would be spent making my lotion, chapstick, and laundry detergent. So i made all of that stuff and had started supper so the kitchen was a MESS by the time they got home. DH pretty much made fun of me for making chapstick because why would you make it when you can buy it for 99cents in the store. And why was i bothering with all this Cr@p when the house was messy and now the kitchen is a disaster and its not cleaned up yet. Usually he doesnt say anything and isnt really like that but im sure he was all thinking... why do this stuff when there are a million "better" things to be doing like cleaning the house, etc. That set off him throwing a hissy fit and not talking to me for a week. We made up, but thats not the point.
when we move i really want to be WAY more SS in the way of gardening and getting animals. And its really gonna suck with no support. Not that i cant do it all myself, but some support from your hubby would be nice. Kinda crappy that he doesnt really support this way of life and yet he doesnt mind benefiting from it tho.... (nice from scratch meals, i make his lunch for work, saving money from being SS, stuff like that..)
What to do what to do....
Anyways, DH and i both grew up on farms in WI. Except we grew up very different. Although him and his brother did TONS of work on the farm they also go paid to do the work and got lots of toys, electronics, etc. Not saying thats a bad thing necessarily, but me and my sisters and younger brother all worked on the farm alot and parents just never had enough money to pay us. We barely had enough money to buy food, pay bills, buy feed for the animals. So when I turned 12 i went out and got a job. Pretty much til i moved out at 18 i paid for everything of my own. Clothes, school lunch, groceries sometimes, everything else a teenager needs. Bought my first car at 16 with CASH. And still had 5000 left in my acct. So frugality kinda runs in my family and in me because of necessity. Anyways, im now 28 with 2 kids. In the recent months i have really found the importance of being more SS and saving money. When i make my own dairy products, lotion, chapstick, laundry detergent, not only is it more economical but I also know what is in the product.
Unfortunetly these things do take alot of time. I work 6 days/week - 6-7 hrs/day on a farm. It a pretty stressful job and physically demanding. We are running into some problems where the housekeeping isnt as great as it could be because im spending alot of time on my SS stuff which is important to me. Its not bad by anymeans, but theres some laundry not done, dishwasher isnt always ran, and the floors arent always vaccumed. Not the end of the world. At least not to me... DH had the kids the other day at his Army Xmas party so when i got home from work i realized that i had like 2 hours all to myself before they got home. So i decided that 2 hrs would be spent making my lotion, chapstick, and laundry detergent. So i made all of that stuff and had started supper so the kitchen was a MESS by the time they got home. DH pretty much made fun of me for making chapstick because why would you make it when you can buy it for 99cents in the store. And why was i bothering with all this Cr@p when the house was messy and now the kitchen is a disaster and its not cleaned up yet. Usually he doesnt say anything and isnt really like that but im sure he was all thinking... why do this stuff when there are a million "better" things to be doing like cleaning the house, etc. That set off him throwing a hissy fit and not talking to me for a week. We made up, but thats not the point.
when we move i really want to be WAY more SS in the way of gardening and getting animals. And its really gonna suck with no support. Not that i cant do it all myself, but some support from your hubby would be nice. Kinda crappy that he doesnt really support this way of life and yet he doesnt mind benefiting from it tho.... (nice from scratch meals, i make his lunch for work, saving money from being SS, stuff like that..)
What to do what to do....
hqueen13
<Insert Snazzy Title Here
Yes, you *can* buy chapstick for 99 cents... but what is in it?? That is why I am beginning to make my own things. I KNOW what I put into it, and the quality of the ingredients. I would rather not smear a petrolium-oil based product all over my face and skin.
Sounds like you both need to have a heart to heart.... Best of luck to you.
(edited for spelling)
Sounds like you both need to have a heart to heart.... Best of luck to you.
(edited for spelling)
I Hear Ya...big time...is very frustrating...
My hubby, acepts my doings...
and I feel via my savings and doings bring a lot to the picture...
he does suport, and has blessed me with the tools I want to do so...
However...Like you he just dosent get it. complains ..although..he is now enjoying thrift clothes shoping with me
retirement is just a couple years off...everything I spend or do is for the long haul...
I love and support his kids...but recently it has come out how much has been filtered...
and it is completely madening...and a lot has been wasted....and has created layers of problems...
one day at a time...
try and find fulfillment within your ownself...
I like someones idea...of putting him on his own budget and let it go...
best of luck...
My hubby, acepts my doings...
and I feel via my savings and doings bring a lot to the picture...
he does suport, and has blessed me with the tools I want to do so...
However...Like you he just dosent get it. complains ..although..he is now enjoying thrift clothes shoping with me
retirement is just a couple years off...everything I spend or do is for the long haul...
I love and support his kids...but recently it has come out how much has been filtered...
and it is completely madening...and a lot has been wasted....and has created layers of problems...
one day at a time...
try and find fulfillment within your ownself...
I like someones idea...of putting him on his own budget and let it go...
best of luck...
yourbadd
Lovin' The Homestead
I have the problem of a DH who "gets" the SS lifestyle and why it is important to provide for ourselves but he's not good for more than the talking/planning aspect or when he does work out a project it's rarely seen thru to the end!! Boy can he talk a good game!! "We need to enlarge the garden", but doesn't get out there and help do it, nor does he assist with planting or weeding. Rain barrel water collection....he cuts end off gutter, runs in into barrel but doesn't secure barrel so it tips over and doesn't set up overflow valve....we now have a ghetto cut gutter draining directly by the foundation.
He talks, talks, talks about buying in bulk and gets mad at me that I haven't begun to stockpile food...what he forgets is that I have no where to store it!! He promised to clear up some space in his precious garage to make shelves for it all but hasn't gotten around to it yet.
Having a spouse who's on board with the ideas but never follows thru or expects me to handle it all is equally as maddening!!
I'm thinking of just clubbing him upside the head the next time he plans for an SS project!!
He talks, talks, talks about buying in bulk and gets mad at me that I haven't begun to stockpile food...what he forgets is that I have no where to store it!! He promised to clear up some space in his precious garage to make shelves for it all but hasn't gotten around to it yet.
Having a spouse who's on board with the ideas but never follows thru or expects me to handle it all is equally as maddening!!
I'm thinking of just clubbing him upside the head the next time he plans for an SS project!!
