Your Parents.....and....

[hwillm1977]

I didn't have any dysfunction in my family life either... hardships yes, but I had a lovely, happy family.

Dad was born in Wales, at the end of World War II. His family came to Canada in 1954. He is the baby of 3 boys. His Grandmother had tea with the Queen (Victoria) after her son died saving people in a coal mining accident

Edited to add: Dad also volunteered for two tours in Vietnam. He is Canadian, but the Canadian Navy wouldn't take him because of bad eyesight in one eye. Dad worked the arresting gear on the deck of an aircraft carrier (USS Franklin D Roosevelt?). He was also on a crew that flew in a rescue helicopter to recover downed pilots.

Mom is the daughter of two irish immigrants, she is the oldest of 6... four girls and two boys. She grew up looking after her younger siblings. Mom was a hippy, dad was a navy guy

They met on a blind date in Montreal, Quebec in 1971. Her dog ran out the door, pee'd on his hush puppies, he laughed and mom said that was the moment she knew she would marry him... literally 2 seconds after she met him. They've been happily married for 39 years now.

I am 2 years older than my only brother. He went into computers, thinks gardening or self-sufficiency is a waste of time when you can buy food at a grocery store. My parents think that me growing food and learning about self-sufficiency will save the family if the SHTF.

We had a hydroponic greenhouse growing up, 400 feet long, where we grew tomatoes for grocery stores. We also had some chickens and pigs, always for food. We were constantly poor, but lived in a small community where bartering was alive and well so we could always trade our tomatoes for other food. We lost our house and greenhouse to the bank and from then on lived in small apartments in cities. Now I'm back in the country and loving every small step I've taken toward being more independant.

 

[gettinaclue]

I'm the youngest of two. I have an older brother who I love very much, though we aren't as close as we used to be just because of the distance factor - he lives in TX.

Dad was the oldest of 3, the grandson of a tenant farmer. He was the only boy and was adored and coddled. He served in Vietnam and believed that a woman's place was in the kitchen and that mom should do what he said and that was that. He would not allow me to go play outside after dinner until the dishes were done. So I got to help mom clean up while watching my brother play in the backyard every evening. He was verbally and mentally abusive though not an alcoholic. Mom threw - and I mean she almost literally kicked him in the hind parts to get him out of the door - and divorced him when I was 6 or 7, may God eternally bless her for that. He was incredibly smart and taught himself how to play classical guitar and could have played concerts within 2 years had he wanted to. He was an electrical engineer and was very well thought of in the community.

He was diagnosed with a slow growing brain tumor shortly after the divorce was final - it was already the size of half a lemon. He moved back in with us with the understanding that he would straighten up and fly right or he was gonna get his butt stomped - and he flew right. Bluntly, my best memories of him were of that time when he was sick and going through chemo and radiation therapies living with us, he was a real dad. After a year and a half, mom and dad decided to get remarried on Valentines day, he died on January 29 when I was 10 before they ever had the chance.

Mom is the second youngest of 6. They grew up dirt poor. She tells me stories of how she drew water from the well, only rarely had the money to turn the electricity on, had only 2 dresses that were hand me downs from her 2 older sisters, and got 1 new pair of shoes a year. Her daddy served in the Korean War and was addicted to narcotics and alcohol most of her childhood. He liked to play with guns when he was stoned and took pot shots at the kids if they got to close while he went on a binge. They raised a 2 acre garden (minimum) every year to put up food for the coming winter. They had no tractor, but they had plenty of kids in the family, so grandma and all the kids would work the garden while her dad was at work or getting stoned. Suffice it to say, she had a terrible childhood and swore when she was a kid she would never keep a garden when she was grown, and she never has to this day. She didn't like guns in the house either. Once Dad was gone, so were the guns and they never came back.

Mom raised us by herself - even when she was married - with little to no help from anyone. She is a phenomenally strong woman and taught me how to do my own laundry and balance a check book when I was 9. She rarely gave us chores. The only thing I really had to do was wake her up in the morning and fix her a cup of coffee and I resented it. She said children should be children and there was plenty of time for work later. After she kicked dad out, I spent my days mostly playing and hanging out with my friends and began enjoying my childhood. She taught me to take care of myself and once told me when I was 16 "Nikki, don't you take any sh** from anybody, least of all a man." I took her at her word... though these days I'm trying to curb my temper and my tongue as I've always been....uh...outspoken. It doesn't always work, but I've improved A LOT since I was Saved.

Mom and I began fighting when I was 9. How she kept from killing me, I'll never know. The arguments and the battle of wills continued until I moved out when I was 17. We had a true love/hate relationship and we had some really good times and some really bad ones. She told me every day I was loved and never skimped on the hugs and kisses...I was a hugs and kisses kinda kid, what can I say LOL.

Mom and I the best of friends now and have been for many years. She is my hero and if I can somehow manage to be just HALF the woman she is, I'll be happy. Things really improved for us once I was out of the house LOL. She lives in NM now but we talk often. I miss her so very much. I can always trust her to tell me the truth - just like it is, but she will do it with love and compassion and sometimes a little something else if I'm being especially stubborn or short sighted. Her advice has saved my bacon more than once.

I grew up with dogs and cats, I even had a bird once (parakeet named Charlie), but no livestock of any sort. We always rented, and we mostly rented houses that needed kickstands in the country.

I'm pushing 37 now, married with 2 great kids, an awesome husband, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 12 chickens and I have taught myself how to do what gardening I do. I took a sewing class with my daughter - though I think she went with me just to humor me - and I enjoy doing the things I do. I think it keeps life fun and interesting and I like the challenge, and these new skills sure are coming in handy.

Mom and her hubby are trying to move back this way. She keeps telling me that her hubby has always wanted some land with a garden and a bit of livestock of some sort. I sure with they'd hurry up and get here.

edited for clarity

 

[JRmom]

I didn't have any dysfunction in my family life either... hardships yes, but I had a lovely, happy family.

Dad was born in Wales, at the end of World War II. His family came to Canada in 1954. He is the baby of 3 boys. His Grandmother had tea with the Queen (Victoria) after her son died saving people in a coal mining accident

Mom is the daughter of two irish immigrants, she is the oldest of 6... four girls and two boys. She grew up looking after her younger siblings.

They met on a blind date in Montreal, Quebec. Her dog ran out the door, pee'd on his hush puppies, he laughed and mom said that was the moment she knew she would marry him... literally 2 seconds after she met him. They've been happily married for 39 years now.

I am 2 years older than my only brother. He went into computers, thinks gardening or self-sufficiency is a waste of time when you can buy food at a grocery store. My parents think that me growing food and learning about self-sufficiency will save the family if the SHTF.

We had a hydroponic greenhouse growing up, 400 feet long, where we grew tomatoes for grocery stores. We also had some chickens and pigs, always for food. We were constantly poor, but lived in a small community where bartering was alive and well so we could always trade our tomatoes for other food. We lost our house and greenhouse to the bank and from then on lived in small apartments in cities. Now I'm back in the country and loving every small step I've taken toward being more independant.

Oh, I had to laugh at the that! My parents met when my dad, a senior in high school and working at a pharmacy after school, delivered a prescription to my mom's house. She was only 14, but my dad says she answered the door flirting like a harlot. They got married when she was 17 and have been together ever since.

 

[curly_kate]

I had a wonderfully idyllic childhood. My parents will have been married 40 years this October. 3 siblings, 2 of whom do well for themselves. Brother still lives at home & works part-time after passing the bar & deciding he didn't want to be a lawyer. But that's another story! My mom loved gardening flowers, but that's about the extent of that. We grew up frugally in the suburbs w/Mom as a SAHM. She cooked everything from scratch, and we weren't showered with "stuff" so we spent a lot of time outside & using our imaginations. I guess the SS gene came from my paternal grandmother. She was a "farm girl," and my grandfather's "city" family looked down on her for that!

We're butchering chickens this weekend, and it's never a very pleasant task. But I remember the story my cousins told me about how Grandma used to go out in the yard, grab a chicken by its head & spin it around to break it's neck. Then she'd butcher it all by herself. I figure if she can do, so can I!

 

[Britesea]

I had a wonderfully idyllic childhood. My parents will have been married 40 years this October. 3 siblings, 2 of whom do well for themselves. Brother still lives at home & works part-time after passing the bar & deciding he didn't want to be a lawyer. But that's another story! My mom loved gardening flowers, but that's about the extent of that. We grew up frugally in the suburbs w/Mom as a SAHM. She cooked everything from scratch, and we weren't showered with "stuff" so we spent a lot of time outside & using our imaginations. I guess the SS gene came from my paternal grandmother. She was a "farm girl," and my grandfather's "city" family looked down on her for that!

We're butchering chickens this weekend, and it's never a very pleasant task. But I remember the story my cousins told me about how Grandma used to go out in the yard, grab a chicken by its head & spin it around to break it's neck. Then she'd butcher it all by herself. I figure if she can do, so can I!

Just be careful if you do that. I had some pigeons as pets once, but something started getting in to the cages at night-- so my mom decided that rather than just losing them one by one, she would butcher them and we could eat them. She tried the "spin it around to break it's neck", but put too much force into the spin; the head snapped off in her hand, and the body, wings flapping, flew over the backyard fence into the neighbor's yard!

 

[garden pixy]

My mother is one of 4 girls, they grew up in a beach town, in a nice house with a stay at home mom who had someone else to do the cooking and cleaning, the girls went to nice catholic schools and had a nanny to help with homework. My grandfather avoided his family by keeping busy working, gardening and fishing, the only time my mom spent with her dad was when he needed another body in the boat because the fishing was good and he needed to double the limit. When my mom was in High school she fell in love with horses, her parents said get a job and you can get a horse, so she went to work waiting tables at a nice seafood restaurant on the Jersey shore.

Dad grew up in the country, the 5th of 10 children, they grew or caught what they ate, they hunted and gathered, they had a modest home that his father built. When my father was 20 and couldn't find work he got a job far away from home, near where his great aunt lived, bussing tables at a nice seafood restaurant on the Jersey shore.

My parents settled in a fixer-upper of a suburban home and had 2 daughters, they worked hard to make ends meet. They kept a nice little garden in the yard and put away what they could. My mother learned to propagate mums and sold them at the flea market. My mom is so different from where her mom lead her, so are my aunts, and she always taught me to do the same. I learned how to fish and garden and preserve, because my mom determined these were skills everyone should have.

 

[moxies_chickennuggets]

I think I am enjoying more reading every ones stories more than I would putting mine down.

 

[LittleRoosterCroft]

This was an interesting thread to read.

This got long...read only if you want!

I grew up in the suburbs. I lived in Florida until I was about 15 (yes a native Floridian...my Dad is too!)...I grew up about 1/2 mile from Biscayne Bay and very close to the everglades. My Dad's family was interesting, his father's family poor homesteaders from Florida/South Carolina, his mother's family was educated north end of Boston Irish. He grew up hunting with his Dad but stopped when my grandfather died and he grew up in the suburbs, never having to raise his own food. My mom was mostly raised in Florida, partly in Cuba, her only exposure to farm life was in Cuba. Her father was not in her life past the age of 3yrs old...he was a military boy that my grandmother met, married and then divorced. My mother didn't work or drive until I was in jr high...when my two younger brothers were older and in school. The only thing we grew was mango and guava in our yard, oranges and grapefruit at one grandparent's and avocado at grandmother's. My Mom and my grandmother did a lot of crafts when I was a kid, all the 70's macrame, toll painting, silk flowers, etc...they kind of passed that on to me. I make soap, candles, etc. The difference is that all the crafty stuff I used to do now has gone from "trinkity" to "necessary".

I grew up in Florida and then my father got a job in New Hampshire when I was 15, it was the first time I ever saw snow! I hated it there. I like it now to visit! We lived in the suburbs there too, my father worked in Boston, my Mom got a job and we lived a normal suburban life...no gardens, no animals besides a cat. I went to college in NYC and got my BFA and lived in upstate NY and then Philly. I got married, got divorced...was a poor starving artist in the city, worked for an animal shelter (changed my views on so many things) and eventually ended up in Delaware.

I wanted out of the city life, I wanted land. Well, I got the old farm house and a little bit of land and then lost it when I was married and divorced again...he kept the house. While I was there I started raising chickens for eggs. Until then I was a vegetarian for about 25 years due to the industry. I decided I didn't want to be reliant on anyone else and that I wanted to know where my food came from. So, I share a run down rented farm house on an acre of land with my brothers for now (we get along but I am not sure how long sharing living arrangements will last before I go nuts!). My brother Kevin is a biologist and was my inpiration environmentally. We both do what we can to mitigate the impact we are all having on this planet. He doesn't have any interest in homesteading though. So...it is just me. The three of us are all poor but I am the only one trying to not live the "usual" way.

I have a real problem with the way we waste resources in this country (and elsewhere but I live here...so here is where I focus my energies). I hate buying things from China. I hate this "throw away" world. I grew up and lived this way and am trying to back that all up and live a bit more like my grandparents did...but all they wanted was for my folks to not have to live like that! I really hate how the government wants to tell me what I can eat and can't eat and advocates eating junk and supporting big business like Monsanto!

Two years ago I raised my first turkeys and killed them and cleaned them and cooked them and ate the first meat in 25 years. I am learning how to raise and care for turkeys, chickens, ducks, geese and meat rabbits all by myself. I have a friend that helped me process my first turkeys but everything else is me learning from groups like this, books and talking to folks when I can. My friend is teaching me how to hunt. I bought my first shotgun last year and shot a gun for the first time last year. My parents have finally decided to not treat me as a normal girl! LOL I was never "normal"...I was always that wierd artist girl but I used to be much more girly. That has changed over the years. My dad gave me my grandpa's gun and my mom is buying me hunting clothes now and stopped giving me costume jewelry! There was a time that I did but not in many years. Ironically, my parents moved out of the suburbs and live at the bottom of a mountain now....but you can't call it sustainable living! LOL They have chickens for eggs and have their own garden but everything is posh like in the fancy magazines...we tease them that their tomato is the $40 kind and their chickens eat better than we do...my Mom BUYS them veggies and treats! My Dad has to always have the latest gadget and my Mom won't walk out of the bedroom without makeup and jewelry (not the costume kind)...they are not well to do but they try to look it. My approach is a little different now.

I work full time for natural resources, I go to school nearly full time for an environmental degree (geology, wetlands, coastal studies), I am learning to homestead, starting to be able to actually grow my own food (animals have been easier than veggies so far, ironically). I am starting an aquaponics system and learning as much as I can. My life is totally different than I imagined it to be but I like it, am self reliant mostly but realize I need community (for which I have a pretty good spiritual one luckily...just I am the one doing this "back to the land" first...everyone else is fascinated but don't know much about it! LOL)

Someday I would like to have more time to spend on my homestead, raise my own animals besides the birds...so I can have my own milk and maybe fiber and have a partner to share it with.

 

[Florezian]

Well it all started when a nearly 30 year old woman went to rehab for the upteenth time, and met a lovely boy of 17 who was also doing a stint there. Their paths just happened to cross at an AA meeting. She thought he looked handsome enough to father her children, as he had a nice head of hair and wide spread eyes......and she was not going to have an ugly child. They were kicked out of said rehab (or ran away together depending on how drunk they are when they tell you it) and boy went to live with woman.

Thus began the story of me.
Me being the love child between them, and neither of the crazy psycos previously mentioned.

 

[colowyo0809]

Well it all started when a nearly 30 year old woman went to rehab for the upteenth time, and met a lovely boy of 17 who was also doing a stint there. Their paths just happened to cross at an AA meeting. She thought he looked handsome enough to father her children, as he had a nice head of hair and wide spread eyes......and she was not going to have an ugly child. They were kicked out of said rehab (or ran away together depending on how drunk they are when they tell you it) and boy went to live with woman.

Thus began the story of me.
Me being the love child between them, and neither of the crazy psycos previously mentioned.

If it makes you feel better my momma was a waitress at a truck stop/diner guess who my daddy was