Pink Fox: its Raining...IN MY HOUSE! :/

[hqueen13]

The stuff is the hard part. Wish I was closer to help take some of the ag stuff off your hands. There's lots of things I can use that I don't have right now.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Geeze, its not like you don't have enough on your plate without having to worry about those stoopid car taxes....argh! Crossing fingers for you that things will work out in your favor - and hope you feel better!

 

[Wannabefree]

Pinky, if you need any help sis, let me know. I'll do what I can.

 

[pinkfox]

thanks...
I think the help I need mostly comes in the form of medication LOL!

im pretty much at a mental mushy point...
my own moo is pretty craptacular...but last night talking my dad who im pretty sure is in the early stages of a total mental meltdown I just hurt even more seeing him hurt...

see he dosnt talk to mum because he knows shes currently stressed and still sore about leaving "her house" when they moved (not that she ever whent out anywhere o had local friens ect) so he feels he cant complain to her because he fees her bing upset is all his fault and him being upet is all his fault and (are we still onderng where all my depression stress and anxiety isues come from ?! lol)

hes ben in hong kong with work this past week...the house inct was supposed to close Tuesday but he was away and the buyer wanted the water turned on heat on ect for final walk through, so closing got postponed...
he gets back form hong kong whre hes been working from 8am to 11pm for the past week, totally jetlagged and full of the flu to find the driver (the company pays fo a hired driver for work trips) couldn't et up the driveway due to the snow...
he ended up havingto drag his case, along the 1 mile 6" deep snow covered driveway...the nextday they had to go to CT to get the water on check the house ect...get there turn the water on POW, pipeburt, water everywhere...he spent the day fixing that and ripping out soaked drwall, didntget home until 1am, had to contac te buyers ad offer them an extra $1000 atcosing if they tae care of the repairs (they NEED to close and get that hous sold...its been postponed like 6 times already and he cant afford anoher moth paying 2large mortgages...) next morning more snow, so he has to get up, exhausted, upet, frustrated stressed and SICK and snow blo the 1 mile driveway, and the salt it...
because apparently my brother and sister had their handsand feet chopped off while he was away and are ocmplelty unable t d anything to help.

my mum cant help, shes got double rotator cuff issues, and realy just cannot...
my brother (27) and my sister (21) however were at home doing nothing of importace and couldn't help...
why?! because my sister "has a cold anddoesnt feel good" and no one bothered to ask my broter (in his defene he is mentally disabled and has to be asked and given clear directions, hell help if asked, but while dad was out there oone even bothered to go say "hey go help dad?!"

im SOOO frustrated with both of them rightnow, steven at least pays his way but biz...she doesn't have a job (she has been looking but ya know) doesn't pay rent, doesn't help with food gets a fancy full servie cell plan, dads pain her car and insurance too and she cant eve get off he arse and help hm hovel the driveway?

after all that he got inside only to get a conference cal from work...by the time I got to talking to him on skyp he was 2 doses of niqil and a glas o scotch down, so upset and frustrated...

I elt guilty or not being there...
then my own mental whackadoo kickd n and I fel guilty for feeling guily! WTF?! I swear...

I tol him tat id happy ship him some of my happy pills, and he finally cheared up a little, I made him promis to call work today an tell them that hes got the flu and has no desire to share and is taking a few days off...
especially since they are supposed to have more sow over the enxt couple fo days...
told him no snowblowing, no work, no phone, just him, a bottle of niquil ad his bed for a few days.

why th hell am I the one having to be the therapist here...
all it would hae taken was fo those 2 lazy siblings of mine to get off their asses and floolw behnd the snow blower with a shovel nd sme salt...would have taken 1/2 the time and dad would have at least felt like people were payin attention and anted to help him.

no one even made him a hot drink when he came in...

GAH!

in the mean time, im going nutzo trying to figure all this out...betweenthe car and the how the hell am I going to move ll my stuff, and theselling of all te othr stuff,
I keep loking at rvs on craiglist thinking screw it, ill go steal one of them! (cause my credit is now officially all kinds of shot) I should have never traded my car, mabe it would have seen me throu the winter...who knows?! but it woudhave been 1 less stress and, and and...MY SKIN HURTS
*GAH!

anywho.
thankfully ive got a therapy apt tomorrow, gonna see if I can get something to help me sleep...
and im going to call the dr and see if they can squish me in tomorrow while im in town and see if they hav nay clue what the heck is going on with my body (I feel bruised al over and im not)
I know ive gained about 50lbs this winter, ive got to be up neer 200 again hic terrifies the crap out of me...ive just been lazy and exhausted to do anything and craving carbs like thyre lifes blood...

anyway.
in GOOD news...
little lop boy is going home this fternoon andtem in going to go hang with frineds atihop for a few ours tonight...ad yes despite my terrifying weight gain, im goingto order me some danged pancakes, this is my last week...Thursday ive got to run up to Jackson fr a few bits anyay so im going to pick up a new tub of protein sake mix ad im going to start from scratch wth the after surgery diet...
1 week shakes and fluids (broth, zero cal drinks ect) as a reset then ill start weaning out the shakes and adding in solid foods again...hoping itll reset my brain since food for me is very much a mental coping device.

 

[Denim Deb]

You sure do have a lot going on.

And I hear ya on the siblings, only for me it's my kids and hubby.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Wow - your poor dad! I'm sure he'll be sooooo happy when you get there.

I'm on the diet bandwagon too...About 15 years ago I lost over 90 lbs and kept it off for 7 or 8 without gaining anything.... but, for the last 7 or 8 I've been gaining about 5 lbs a year and I've got to STOP! So, I feel ya and I'm right there with ya! We can do this!

 

[hqueen13]

Just a warm hug for ya. Hang in there!

 

[Wannabefree]

Pinky....just lotsa hugs for you and Dad If there is ANYTHING I can do...

This weather has got everyone eating like a fattening hog. My bunch are grocery compactors the past few weeks, myself included. UGH!!! Again, more hugs

 

[pinkfox]

thanks guys!
its so good to know I havea safe place to come and vent...

the evening I kinda goo/bad.
spent some time with friends which was awesome...
gothome and Keira KILLED (beyondany form of salvation) my ONLY pair of good daily wear boots...the only pair of shoes ive ever paid goo money for, the only nice comfortable boots I had (none arm related)
I found hem on mazon but hey don't hav my size (and are $50)
gonna hveto go back to the store I bought thm from and see if by any miracle they still have some at the much less tan $50 I paid for them...but I doubt it.
its insanely frustrating trying find nice comfortable pretty none heeled boots an don't make me look like ive ot cankles...
so shes in bad book right now...but I know its my own fault.

just seems that I cant have nice things as a generality :/

 

[pinkfox]

well therapy appointment was a huge step for me this time...
i took Keira, i called ahead warnd them i was bringing my service dog in training, told them id bring in a FAQ sheet from the ADA explaining mine and her rights and also their rights as an establishement.
tey were cautious when i told them, sad theyd have to call the big boss just to confirm, but boss knew the law said yup an off whe whent, they've never had a service dog in before.
She did AMAZINGLY!
she as very interested in the smells and realy wanted to say hi to people but she wated patiently by me until i said "ok say hello"
everyone on staff loved her.
In the therapy office she gavea little terapy too...my therapist was attacked by a Doberman when she was young and admitted that dobes make her a little anxious...she even admitted that she expected to be realy anxious when she met Keira but she was surprised she wasn't...not even a little bit...Keira just has such a good energy about her, she was calm and quiet
sh go some luvins at th beginning of the appointment then simply lay at my feet and slept for the hour...

form there i had to see my nurse (med clinic) an she just stood next to me quietly waiting.

1 1/2 hours in the office and not a peep, no bad behavior no excitability, just calm ad relaxed, (interested in the smells, but very self controlled)
on the way out there was 1 getleman in an office that was very nervous i think h saw big dog and thought it was gonna come after him, the therapist told him its ok, shes gt her under control, didn't seem to help so i stopped hd keira sit and told him "shes a working service dog, her job is to help me with my health issues" there as something about either seeing her just sat quietly at my side or what i said that seemed to click and the tesion left his shoulders and he smiled and goes "realy? wow, that's pretty cool"

SOOOO proud of her... she ignored the people in he waiting room as we waked out, hopped in the car like an ole pro!

stopped at coop to get a bag of goat feed, wih this cold weather they are eatingmore an usual...
se likes co-op, theres always good smells in there and they always give her a cookie...

then from there i whent through tacobll drive through, they LOVE her thre, we stop by every time we go that direction for the park, they have cheap diet mtn-dew (the only soda i rink) and ALWAYS have cookies on hand fo Keira, suprises me that tere one of the only drive through food joins that do keep dog treats on hand...none of the others do. so even thoug i ont usually buy food thre (ad if i do is a soft taco) i alays stop there for adrink if shes with me so she can get her cookie...its not a small cookie either, co-op has the mini ones...tacobell has the big ones!

from there hit up the park, ill be honest id been umming about it before leaving the house...sooo damned cold!
but shed been sooo good at the drs and she loves the park/going for a walk so we whet to the park.
COLD an th wind chill ripped right throug my jeans and jacket, and while usually i can walk that route no problems, but today that last little uphill stretch bck to the car made my thighs burn...im sue it was because they were cold but wow.

shes now snoozing.

got home let the dogs out, fed and watered the bunnies...
now im warming up before heading back out with lil-loppy boy to meet his new mommy since we had to reschedual...
*fingers crossed nohign else comes up between now and then.

cold (house is warming up though, tuned the heat up a lil), somewhat achey...but very proud of my girl!