Are we living our dream?

[frustratedearthmother]

Congrats! 16 lbs is 16 lbs - that's great!

 

[Medicine Woman]

Yeah I am very late with my blood work but I’m finally on a good roll so I am hoping if I can keep this up a while that my blood will tell a good story on me and I can actually go through life without too many prescriptions. I guess I am avoiding the Doc. A few days ago I was afraid I would have to schedule my female exam due to a problem rather than a yearly… only 6 years late But the pain vanished. Still… probably should visit the doctor.
So last night was an extra and tonight starts my 4 night hitch (except for the jury duty thing). Need to hang a batch of laundry and bring Trouble run before my disappearing act. It’s possible we stumbled upon my long lost Dachshund at an old friend of DH but they claim the dog is just a year old. Gonna try to think of an excuse to go over on my off time. If the dog is mine she will recognize me.

 

[Medicine Woman]

DD is slacking but I am still glad she is with me. I put all my uniforms to wash this morning and took my night meds and waited until I couldn’t stay awoke and I asked her to hang my clothes. she didn’t!! Oh well I got her to do it late and I am wearing clothes…. Not a scrub. I also call her when I am on the way back home to make sure she is dressed and to let the dogs out but she says okay and I let the dogs out after dropping her off at school. Kids!! Oh well…I am still just glad to see her and hang around. Currently waiting for her to go into therapy. We probably pick up something to eat afterwards.
I decided to try to break the bank. I gave away my off time and I will just work straight through because no appointments. It’s getting close to harvest season and I will have to be ready to harvest, deliver and sell various types of oranges once again.
We still haven’t bought the utility trailer or lawnmower so maybe my wildness with work can help me get it started. I already know I will just clean up while I harvest like I always do. God forbid I walk into a clean orchard!!

 

[tortoise]

I'm speechless, please imagine silent hugs of support.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

So sorry to hear your news. Yes, like others have said, let your family take care of you while you recover. You've done so much for everyone else - it's time for you to get to take it easy and be taken care of!

 

[farmerjan]

Very sorry to hear of the diagnosis. Prayers for you and those who will assist you in this treatment protocol.

 

[tortoise]

well, it’s kind of late but happy new year. I feel well, but with a lot of limitations. My oncologist feels that I have responded well to my medication and that a no likelihood my tumor has decreased in size and the lesions are also dying. But he base his info on my bloodwork and physical appearance. He wants to send me for a CAT scan soon to confirm his suspicions. My surgeon also wants to send me for a CAT scan and another MRI before he removes all the rods and pins from my back, the rods and pins are probably what is causing so much discomfort for me at this point. I recently decided to stop all of my pain medication’s and muscle relaxers because I had realized that I was not in acute horrible pain, but only mild discomfort. I also wanted a new lease on life and I felt that my medication was causing too much sleep and stopping me from living my life and therefore my dreams. It occurred to me that I own more property than most people locally even though most of it is wetlands. I said to myself, my orchard and wetlands are all organic and full of edible weeds, mushrooms, and onions that I could be harvesting for my family. It would be kind of like walking through my property with a basket and imagining myself at one giant grocery store that would be free rather than sending DH to the actual grocery store with money to buy chemical laced foods. So that was my motivation and I can honestly say that I really have been suffering since altering my meds. And I have gone into the orchard and sat in my wheelchair. Watching DH and DD creating a wall out of fallen tree limbs around the pond. DH would like to grow merlitons and mushrooms on the logs. I kind of liked it. Gave me the feeling of like a food forest. So you know, my mine always works, and my body could never keep up with it even before the cancer. But I am trying to think of a way that perhaps I can grow some of my food myself. Maybe get involved with the Rabbit project because it looks like DH is really really forgetful. I still have my hair, although it is shorter because I went to a beautician and wanted layers and to lose at least 10 inches because my hair was too hard to manage with my weakness. I spent a lot of time inside. I don’t have perfect balance and I lost a lot of strength, but I can walk although not for long I can do a bit of clothes and hang it up but it takes me a while. I can manage to keep up some of the dishes, especially if I bring a stool to sit on. I need more help than I would like. Fortunately, my youngest child has been hanging around with me a lot lately. It does my heart good because most of the time I had been feeling like the mother from hell. She is now 15 but will be 16 in March , she is running a little bit on the wild side which scares me to an extent. But she seems to have a good head on her shoulders, and she wants to work towards some goals which I am trying to help her with so one hand seems to be washing the other. That’s kind of how we get through life sometimes. It is kind of humbling to go somewhere where I can’t bring my wheelchair and one of my children are holding my hand to guide me into a room or building until my wheelchair could be brought in for me. But I appreciate their help and concern. Sometimes I sit in my nice comfy chair, and I do some hand work like maybe mending my husband’s overalls. I really would like to start crocheting, but I need to finish a few projects first. I just want to feel useful. And if there ever was a time for me to begin writing again I think now is the time. It is very hard for me to get dressed because I can’t reach my feet or take care of my feet so if I am to be completely honest, sometimes I bring DD to school wearing my nightgown with a robe and I pray that I am not stopped. I have gone into my orchard dress the same and sat down on the wheelchair watching the family work, but I don’t dress this way if I’m going to be with people outside the family or if I’m going to one of my appointments. I hope my rods and pins could be removed soon, so I can actually take care of myself better I mean I can’t bend or twist at all. I am sorry if my words are used in properly or if my punctuation isn’t right because I have used voice typing . Even though I spent an excessive amount of time on my phone these days because of not having much else I am capable of I still like to do things quickly so I do apologize.
I have this wild idea of taking my 4 gallon, mayonnaise buckets filling them up with little sticks from the woods and topping it off with a bit of heat after I smash it down and then try to do some container/Hay bale gardening on the back porch, which is south facing. I think that would be very therapeutic for me. I can’t tell you how much I miss working as a nurse. DD number one has helped me apply for my Social Security benefits, and I am waiting for a decision. Both of my oncologist seem to think that I will reach my decision way before most people who have only suffered accidents. That is both encouraging and discouraging at the same time if you know what I mean. As much as I would miss it, I believe I would just except a disability decision and live my dream full-time. Not that I want to be lazy, but even though my cancer is currently behaving itself or seems to be, I have missed several months of work and apparently this is just my first bout with cancer. My oncologist is prepared to later need to change my medication if my body doesn’t stops responding to the meds. Most people with my diagnosis or dead within five years. I am more hoping to belong to the 29% club rather than the 71% club. I mean I feel well. I certainly don’t feel like I’m dying not anymore anyway. I guess my test will reveal something.
Oh that’s a whole lot. Easier said than done. My mind wants to garden. My mine wants to move does into bucks cages. My mind wants to totally manage this house and cook food from scratch and go foraging. But my body is so weak and unsteady. I appreciate whatever good wishes, prayers, that anyone has to send my way. I don’t feel like I’m quite finished yet.
I did talk to DH about letting all of you know should anything happened to me but I don’t think he understand how to use my phone exactly. I will ask should anything happened to me but I don’t think he understand how to use my phone exactly. I will SDD ask DD to look at my phone with me one day so she could do the honors God for bid. Hopefully you’ll have my ramblings for many years to come.

It is so good to hear from you! You have been on my mind frequently lately. I have been reading books about healing, and many of the stories are about people who 100% cured their cancers which had terrible prognosis. Like told they had weeks to live, but thrived for decades after.

Spending time with your family and in nature and living your dream are all healing. Trust your self-healing intuition. You're definitely a 29%-er! Your babies still need you.

 

[tortoise]

What a happy update! Are you feeling well? Do you have much pain?

Keep taking care of yourself. You are important and your health is a priority.

 

[Medicine Woman]

Not so much I want to reply but I can’t remember how to just make a new entry . So it’s been a while. Mostly I am well. I went for a new CT scan yesterday and bloodwork and I see my oncologist on the 17th, followed by my bone density infusion. It’s harvest season in the orchard and I have a lot of satsuma but the fruit is small. I figure it’s because of the drought. I haven’t gone up on my price so the hardware store that helps me sell can’t keep it on the counter. I’m told that one customer claims they rather go there and buy the fruit for $4 than get it from Walmart for $7 and it won’t even be as fresh. Well it has to be fresh. They run out everyday!! But now that they are getting sweeter, I am finding evidence of raccoons visiting. They have really taken a lot of fruit so we collected all our old traps and bought the two for one special at Tractor Supply. So yeah…4 new traps. DD16 and I set 6 traps with peanut butter sandwiches and we caught one coon, but all of them were snapped shut. DH and I dispatched the coon and reset with fish heads and we about to eat and then head over to harvest satsuma and hopefully coons. I want to make chili. I figured by the time I add all the veggies and tomato paste and chili powder and such, no one much would notice what meat I used. DD’s principle has been setting her trap too.
So it looks like I’m eligible for a new house through Lafourche Community Foundation. I could have gotten my old house busted up but they wanted me to rent 6 dumpsters and I checked the price and it was almost $700 each. I didn’t have the immediate funds on me…surprise!! So I heard they were stopping in late March and weren’t returning until October. Then I hired a young man, the same age as some of my younger kids to work for me in his space time. I told him to earn between $500 to $700 a month from me (based on the dumpster thing) and he tries to salvage lumber and my possessions and picks them up safe. I have no idea what my new house will look like but the crew just keeps making the same house over and over again for whoever is eligible. I can pick out between 3 kitchen designs and I can choose the colors but besides that they just building a house for me and I guess I really don’t care what it looks like.
But I don’t want them ripping my old house apart because I spent a lot of money on the pilings and concrete so I might as well get a barn out of the deal. My old barn is mostly intact but it does need fresh wire to protect against predators. Plan on fixing it and putting a flat roof on the old floor of my old house. I envision separating several pure breed chicken projects. DD wants Black Giants which makes me very happy. I think I can line the bottom of a stall with sheet metal and put a colony of rabbits.
Also I kinda picked up my pregnant niece and her 2 young sons yesterday. The plan is for them to stay with us until a government house becomes available. She is #3 on the list right now. Trying to help her work with a terrible ringworm on her youngest.
Well….hopefully I come back soon and I can tell y’all how coon chili tastes. Lata.

 

[Medicine Woman]

Yesterday I got my results. No new growth. The only thing is my white blood cells are low. But I forgot to take my medicine in the morning and I took it early afternoon and tried to do a few things and harvested but I was hurting. I only harvested 7 sacks and delivered them for sale and got my money from the previous delivery.
Trying to get my grandnephew in kindergarten and keep my niece calm. We went to the Catholic Community Center and there was a stroller and baby bed outside so I loaded both up in the truck. We found a few uniforms for the 5 year old but I don’t think he has a pair of slacks so I asked the manager if she has any donated fabric if she can look for kakki. I can make him some pants in no time. My niece found 5 pair of socks for the boys. They literally had one pair and then lost one of the socks. I knew I had to hurry with lunch because DH had an appointment so I say…we still have that fish soaking in the egg wash. We having fish and chips. So niece tells the boys it’s chicken. Why??? IDK.
We a few minutes late for the appointment. I now have 4 small orders for satsuma and I just know the hardware store is probably out. I am pretty sure I will be able to sell whatever fruit the coons leave on the trees. Some of the Louisiana Sweets look ripe so I think I will harvest a bucket of them for juicing.