Epsom Salts are Magnesium Sulfate. No Sodium.
I found out about using them for magnesium supplementation when I was researching alternate absorption methods when the Crohn's was at its worst. I can absorb it through my intestines now, so I can just take a regular supplement when I need, but it sure saved my life for about six months.
I think the key to recognizing what is depression influenced, and what is not, is to look back over some things that have bothered you, and think about whether your reactions to them were within the spectrum of "normal". If they weren't, and if you remember having reacted better to the same kinds of things, then you have a basis for making judgments later on.
I think you might need to develop a habit of reviewing the events of the day, and thinking about what things happened, and how the depression might have affected your perception of them. I do this in an unpressured setting - after laying down to sleep, I'd just let my mind ramble a bit, but some people might need a walk by themselves, or a warm bath to help them feel relaxed so they can just think about the day, think about what things were good, and which things might have been colored by the depression. This is an important first step, because in doing this, you stop the guilt spiral - so you can reason with yourself over those events. It means being totally honest with yourself, but also being kind to yourself.
And at first, it means that most of what you notice is going to be AFTER the fact. But if you keep doing that, eventually one day you'll recognize in the middle of something that it isn't what it seems to be, and you'll be able to change how you are reacting right then and there.
See, I REMEMBERED being somebody else. I remembered being able to handle things better. I had depression continuously for about 4 years, before it just went away after one of my pregnancies when I had a little extra time between them. I didn't know what it was at the time, I just thought that somehow I was becoming a bad person, because I could not motivate myself to do things, I got angry over the needs of my kids (because I felt overwhelmed with them - they did not CAUSE the depression, overall, I did love being a mom), and life just seemed so hard and discouraging. It wasn't until about a year after the depression cleared that I saw a description of depression, and the lightbulb went on and I knew what it was. This was more than 20 years ago when depression was not well identified.
I also knew that it was related to pregnancy. So when I got pregnant again, I went to the counselor, who handed me this little golden bit of information. I still had depression, but it never again got as bad, and I had some ability to reason with myself when my reactions were unreasonable - not a lot - it was still REALLY hard. But it was BETTER, because I understood what it was, and how it was influencing me, and I did have just that little extra edge to change some of my most inappropriate reactions. When depression does not spiral down from unproductive guilt and self-recriminations, the degree of damage it does is cut by about half or more.
It doesn't mean you don't hold yourself accountable. It just means you identify which things you can change, and which things you cannot, and recognize which things were a product of the depression, so that the guilt that just beats you up can be eliminated. Guilt has a purpose - it is supposed to motivate us to positive change in our life. To stop doing things we know are wrong.
It isn't supposed to be a means of self-inflicted torture for things that are honest mistakes, unconscious misunderstandings, or things that are blown out of proportion due to mental warping of reality.
If you tell a lie, you make it right, and think about why you did and how to avoid that in the future.
If you yell at a kid over something that wasn't their fault, you apologize and think about how you could have done it better - and then you be kind to yourself about it and let it go, and don't let those unkind self-recriminations keep running around in your head just beating you up.
If you are not able to face taking a shower in the morning because it seems like too much work or because it hurts, then recognize that you don't feel that way because you are dirty and worthless, but because you feel overwhelmed because of depression, and be kind to yourself about it.
If your kids are home from school and just seem to be having one of those days where they suck the life out of you, then recognize that it IS genuinely hard today, but that about half of the difficulty is due to the depression. Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up with thoughts that you are a bad mom, that you are incompetent because you can't handle two snarky and bored kids.
I use prayer to stop those negative thoughts too. Once I recognize that something unproductive is going on, that it WASN'T fault on my part, that it ISN'T something I can fix - or that it is something that I already tried to fix, then I ask the Lord to help quiet my mind and help those thoughts go away. And then I do something to HELP them go away - music, reading, talking to a family member, or something else that involves me so I have to let it go. And it does go away.
If I don't KNOW if I was to blame or not, because I know my judgment is not clear at the time, I ask the Lord about that too. I ask Him to help me know what I need to do to fix it if it was my fault, and if not, to please take the negative thoughts and guilt out of my mind so I can do the things I need to really be doing. Interestingly enough, I have NEVER had any reaction to this plea, except for the thoughts to go away! Generally, when it is my fault, I KNOW it is my fault, and there is no need to ask! But sometimes depression makes things confusing, so I ask the Lord to arbitrate, just so I know for sure that I'm right in labeling it as something I should not be guilt tripping over.
Thinking about things CAN be hard work. But when it becomes a productive thing, instead of a tortuous one, miracles start to happen. The depression is not likely to magically leave (unless it is chemical based and the problem causing it is resolved), but by reordering HOW you think about things, and by identifying which things are real, and which ones are not, the level of depression is mitigated, to a point where life is much more copable. And for me, that was a true miracle.
