Rough few days....geeze! BUT - I'm off, off, off! I don't go back to work until Wednesday....and I totally need the break. My big project got turned around at least three times requiring me to spend 3 times as much time re-doing it...over and over and over again. It was a budget inquiry by the Dept of Ed. I keep the books for our project. My budget must match the numbers that our business office keeps, and both of our numbers must match the DOE. HOWEVER - these numbers NEVER match except for the beginning of a fiscal year and the end of the fiscal year. I keep my books up to date daily. If we spend money it shows immediately on my books. However the business office only reconciles their numbers once a month. The DOE reconciles quarterly. See the problem here? Don't ask me to fudge my numbers to show what some other office shows. Geeze....it took awhile for me to get some folks to understand that. But right now - I don't care! And, I'm not gonna care again until next week, lol! Actually, the project is due tomorrow to the DOE. I gave my boss my numbers and if they use 'em or change 'em or discard 'em and start over - not my problem! The request from the DOE was addressed to "Project Director" and that's not my title! Okay - done with that mess....
Had a really sad visit with the old folks yesterday. All my dad could talk about was filing charges against my brother. He is remembering things that happened years ago and just could not let it go. About 5 or 6 years ago my mother threatened to shoot dad in the head and then kill herself. She threatened it more than once. So, my brother and I took all the guns out of the house. Dad has never forgiven us - mostly my brother - for doing that. At the time we could explain it to him and he'd be okay with it for a while, then he'd start all over again. Gonna file theft charges...want him in jail...he's a bully and doesn't deserve my guns.
My brother is darn sure not perfect, but he did and did and did for them. They didn't appreciate it...complained about it. My brother did their yard work, tended the pool, did the grocery shopping and the bill paying even when dad would meet him at the door and would cuss him out for being alive. Unfortunately my parents legacy is not one of love and acceptance, it's one of hatred and bitterness. It's not something that has just started...it's been that way for a long time. It rips me apart to hear that coming out of their mouths. My mom and dad will pass from this world hating at least one of their children. Truth is they don't really care that much for me. I remember (twice) while they lived here when my dad said to me "I never loved you as much as my other kids - but thanks for taking care of us."
Another time I heard them talking in bed and him saying that my (deceased) younger sister was the only kid that turned out they way they wanted. Hey, thanks ya'll!
So, I'm struggling with myself right now. I don't live my life full of negativity and I can't stand being surrounded by it. Seeing them is taking an emotional toll on me that I don't deal with very well. I've been going to visit them a lot. Usually I take my lunch hour on Tues/Thursdays and then go again on the weekend. I need to step back from it. And, I already feel guilty just for thinking about it - geeze louise! But, there are times in life that if you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of others - and this is one of those times.
Sorry for the dump ya'll...
But on a positive note - we had a big ol' bunch of rain today!
I KNOW she meant no harm -- just asking as FYI 
We will assume you did! 
need to chill for a while. Right now, just not feeling it!
I feel like you did last yr with that everyday rain. Need a couple days to dry out a little.
