How did you get to your stage in SS living?

[Dace]

I would really love to know how you all have reached whatever stage of self sufficiency that you are at now.

I am struggling with my husband....bless his heart he means well but we just are not on the same page with frugality and self sufficiency.

We have been self employed our entire marriage but the economy really hit our business hard and not only did it go under, but we have lost out home as well.

We will be renting soon, which does not seem will work with my plans of chickens, expansive gardens, bee's, cob oven etc. I feel as if the rug has been yanked out from under me and I am afraid that my dreams of self sufficient living will never become a reality. We live in the suburbs and I know he would not be willing to move further out into the country...which of course would be my dream!

I would love to hear your struggles and challenges in becoming any level of self sufficient!

 

[roosmom]

Honestly? By being poor.


Ok, I read the bottom part of your post. One of the hardest things to deal with is not having all the things other people take for granted. Like cell phones, new cars etc. But being poor has also kept me from getting into trouble.

 

[Dace]

LOL...ok well we meet that criteria!

Honestly, with watching the news the last two days and all the talk about the credit crunch, I think that even though we are broke as can be, I think we will adjust to this financial crisis better than most because we are used to paying cash!

ok, so different spin on my question for you....on a small budget, how are you achieving a level of self sufficiency?

 

[annmarie]

Good answer Roosmom! Dace, you may be closer to your self-sufficiency dream than you think! My husband and I started out dirt poor, and in time "worked our way up" only to realize this isn't feeling like "up" to us. The more we had the more we felt we needed, and happiness was not increasing with our incomes. I will say though, that working our way up made it possible for us to buy a home (with a mortgage, granted) but now we have a real mutual goal, and while we still need to work outside the home to pay the mortgage, we really do finally feel like we're moving down the right path (even though some people just think we're nuts). I'm so sorry to hear about the rough time you're going though, but perhaps something very positive will come out of this. I once read a quote that basically said some thing like "sometimes you need to really screw up your life in order to get it going the way you want it to go." I'm sure it was put much more eloquently than that, but it made a lot of sense to me!

 

[Dace]

Annmarie, I completely agree. DH wanted the big house and the lifestyle, I have always just been pretty simple.

Now that change is inevitable, I want to assert myself more and gently nudge our lives onto a better path. I know that all of the turmoil we have been through was for a purpose and I now have the opportunity to help us onto a better path, but I need to get his buy in...that is where my struggle is. If we reduce our expenses HIS life will be easier and less stressful...he still wants to provide a nice home and nice things, I just need to convince him that things are not the answer!
Thanks for your input

 

[annmarie]

ok, so different spin on my question for you....on a small budget, how are you achieving a level of self sufficiency?

- we live within our means (only exception is the mortgage)
- no credit cards of any sort
- avoid all wants, really discuss what we consider to be "needs" before parting with any money
- in order to help avoid the wants we don't have cable television (or antenna television for that matter) the marketing is like allowing an army of thieves into your home everytime you turn it on, I also avoid the typical womens supermarket rack magazines
- we do have a small NetFlix subscription instead, so we can watch the occasional movie (and we usually manage to get a family member to buy us a gift subscription for our birthdays and holidays )
- learn to cook cheap, healthy meals (think staples and spices!), curse all things "Nabisco" and "Pillsbury" whenever you see it!
- investigate your life and your budget and figure out where your money is going and question if it really needs to be that way
That's everything we did before we owned a home. Then once we were let loose on our own property it was time to study up on gardening, canning, chickens, goats (next on the agenda). Be patient with your husband. Most likely he will come around. Lead by example!

 

[roosmom]

I understand....perfectly. We have never had a credit card. NEVER. thank god. We always pay cash, if we dont have the cash, then we dont buy it. My parents told me that all you really need are the roof over your head, food in your belly and warmth. I guess I have always kept that in the back of my mind. But about six years ago we took out a home equity loan on our house cuz it really really needed to be redone on the inside. We did all the work ourselves but it still put us in the hole for 40,000. That redid the whole inside of the house. As a matter of fact, we had to replace all the floor joist in the kitchen because it sunk about two inches towards the middle. I really do not feel like I am missing out on anything by not having THINGS. I guess the part that bothers me the most is the fact that so many other people are so busy shopping, using their cell phones, going on trips etc, ......well I guess sometimes we feel left behind. But I tell myself that is ok too. Do I really want to have that go, go, go constantly in my life? NO, I dont. I hope that helps. Now, I cant wait to get home to watch some chicken TV,

 

[annmarie]

Also, realize that there's a good chance your husband has a funny image in his head of hillbillys living in a rusted out school bus when you talk about "self-sufficiency". It doesn't have to be that way. I think only about 1/2 of us live in rusted out school buses here, right?

 

[FarmerChick]

gotta change his thinking
men are judged by how well they provide (this is just a not talked about situation men are in...they are providers....the more you have the better provider he is....granted I don't hold to this way of thinking, but it is ingrained in men alot of times)

Tony is that way. He WANTS me to have things and I tell him I don't want them....drives me nuts. He doesn't want diamonds, yet he wants me to get them...LOL...heck I lose them at the barn so I stopped with all that nonsense.

Keep one thing in mind

SMILE----LAUGH----no matter how tight the budget LIVE LIFE---don't stagnate, don't stop finding free things to do, or cheap fun to buy......live....never go on hold...worst thing you can do. Always move forward and keep the humor in your life....so important!

I have a small pond on the farm we are working on making bigger and better, if I had to find cheap fun, hmmm....skinny dipping with Tony at night would be the way to go.....me bad!!! HA HA HA

it is rough out there, we just must never weaken and keep smiling thru it all.

 

[Dace]

Also, realize that there's a good chance your husband has a funny image in his head of hillbillys living in a rusted out school bus when you talk about "self-sufficiency". It doesn't have to be that way. I think only about 1/2 of us live in rusted out school buses here, right?

Bwahahahaha....he actually likes the idea of self suffeciency, he just imagines it in our 3600 sq ft house on our 11k sq ft lot

Now give me an old run down farmhouse with a couple of ratty outbuildings...that is heaven!