I need to get my head on straight

[Dace]

I need some feedback and you all are the best resource, so maybe someone can offer me some advice....

Those of you who have been on this forum for a while know that our business crashed and we lost our home last year. In Dec we moved to a nice rental home that we are happy with...for now.

My problem is that we are in a rental. I am hesitant to DO anything...I did go ahead and get my chicks, but I can't plant fruit trees, I am hesitant to put in a garden (the soil sucks and it would be quite an investment of time and money..and my back).
I had started on this path to become slightly more SS...nice garden, learning to can, bunny, compost, worms, reading and learning what I could do to reduce my footprint and live in a more thoughtful way, but I feel like a big brick wall went up blocking me from moving forward on that path.

Now I just feel as if the rug has been yanked out from under me. I feel a constant anxiety, I am sure I am depressed. Mostly I do not even bother to hang out my laundry..I figure why bother and just throw it in the dryer to get it over with. There are so many things that are important to me that I am not able to do/accomplish right now. Not having a garden breaks my heart but when I think about the time and money that would need to go into it, I just can't justify it.

I am just so frustrated...yet I know that all things happen for a reason and I just need to sit tight until the reason becomes apparent. I know that many of you all have gone thru your own struggles...so tell me how do you keep plugging away and not give up when you feel that it is all pointless and that you are just spinning your wheels?

 

[noobiechickenlady]

Hang in there, Dace.
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Teddy Roosevelt
Go ahead and hang out those clothes, it'll save you money if nothing else. I wouldn't however, plant trees or invest a LOT of time & effort if you'll be moving soon (couple years at the most?)
Try container gardening, so you don't have such a permanent investment, it'll be something you can take with you instead.
I know I'm new here, and I don't know your entire story, but I still feel like you all are a part of my (maybe extended) family.

 

[big brown horse]

What about container gardening?

 

[Dace]

Yeah, container gardening is a option...not really one I have a lot of interest in though. I have grown some greens, radish and carrots in some containers. It's just not the same :/

 

[Dace]

Hang in there, Dace.
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Teddy Roosevelt
Go ahead and hang out those clothes, it'll save you money if nothing else. I wouldn't however, plant trees or invest a LOT of time & effort if you'll be moving soon (couple years at the most?)
Try container gardening, so you don't have such a permanent investment, it'll be something you can take with you instead.
I know I'm new here, and I don't know your entire story, but I still feel like you all are a part of my (maybe extended) family.

Thanks noobie....I know you are right, I am just not inspired anymore...no progress makes me feel stagnant.

 

[noobiechickenlady]

I hate to get all philosophical here, but hey. This is what came to mind when you said stagnant. A lotus is a beautiful flower, it grows the best when the water its in is all cruddy & nasty. Stagnant, in other words. Sometimes we are placed where we will find what we need, not just what we want. Sometimes that placing is rather unpleasant. I really didn't want to move back to my old hometown, hated the place because of total lack of opportunities. But circumstances dictated otherwise. Now we've been here almost 10 years and we're liking it. Not because the town has changed, but because we have. It took being broke, on welfare and no jobs to bring us here. Now we understand that we had to come back here to get the education & land that is allowing us to become SS.
In eastern cultures, the lotus represents clarity of heart & mind. It sometimes represents hope & guiding stars. But it grows in stagnant, nasty water. Just because your circumstances are stagnant, don't give up, you are growing & blooming, if you'll take the opportunity. Can't garden? Is there another hobby you've always wanted to try, but couldn't because gardening took up the time you'd spend on it? Try it now.
Again

 

[keljonma]

I understand your funk, Dace. Get yourself to the library and check out every inspirational homesteading, food processing, and gardening book you can find.

I know the laundry thing is uninspiring - especially when you're in the doldrums to begin with. BUT remember that everytime you hang a load to dry you are putting money into your pocket, not sending it to the utility company.

I hand wash dishes and use the grey water for gardening. I drain it through a sieve so that any food particles go to the compost. You can have a small compost - maybe you will start the worm farm again.

Start some containers for gardens. It is never too late to start the garden. Hanging planters can be used for almost all herbs, tomatoes, strawberries, etc.

Sometimes you can find containers for free on trash days or inexpensively at yard sales. The Dollar Tree stores in our area sell medium sized containers for $1. The Family Dollar stores sell them for about $3 to $5.

You can plant in potting soil bags and garden that way.

One of my friends built herself three 2' x 2' portable square foot garden for her apartment. Her lease is up in September, and if she moves, she plans to take the garden with her.

There are some fruit and nut trees that can be grown in containers - blueberries, apples, peach, etc.

Maybe you could grow a bit of timothy, alfalfa, clovers and cut for hay or bedding for your chickens. They are also good for rabbits. This depends on if you are able to let a patch of yard grow taller than normal.

Go to the markets and/or local pick-your-own farms, find fresh fruit and process it. Try new recipes or create some new ones yourself.

I would suggest planting some herbs immediately to help lift your spirits; mint (chocolate is a favorite for summertime desserts), rosemary, basil, and lavender are good. I personally like pineapple sage, tarragon, and fennel too.

It may help you to keep a journal... it doesn't have to be one on ss. My personal journal is a word document on my pc and I only put snippets from that journal onto my ss journal. But I can see when I am spiraling downward or soaring high because I have been doing this for a while. And I have found it comforting to find my good days outnumber the bad. It has been helpful for me to end each day by writing 2 things that I am thankful for, 2 things I have been blessed with, and 2 things that I worked on to improve my attitude. It isn't always easy....

Remember we are here for you.

 

[big brown horse]

keljonma, that is really good advice!!! I am more inspired now too!!

 

[Dace]

Thank you ladies

noobie, I know that we have landed here for a reason, I know my dreams are on hold for a reason and I definitely know that this is a growth/learning opportunity, maybe I am just being to selfish about 'wanting what I want right now'. Patience is a virtue right? I appreciate your Lotus story...it brings to light something that I know in my head (I am the only one who can really hold me down) but the reminder is good.

keljon, I know you can relate and I appreciate your perspective and advice...maybe some good books are in order to get my mind moving in a more positive direction. Good input on the herbs, I do have some but more is always better

 

[keljonma]

You know what they say, Dace - If you pray for patience, the Lord won't give you patience. He will, however, give you many opportunities to practice patience.