Natural childbirth any tips for the pain?

[ninny]

Okay I'm due with my second baby at the end of August. I'm terrified to do this again. My first did not go well. My water broke and since I did not start dilating I was induced. Then she got suck and could not turn the right way. My doctor had to get on the bed with me on her knees to pull her out. The only pain med I took was a short twenty minute iv drug. I had been awake for almost 24 hrs and I had to sleep. During the 20 minutes I went from a 4 to a 9 and woke up needing to push. I pushed for three hours and almost had a emergency c- section. It was 21 hrs after my water broke I had her. Then I didn't heal right and that was just horrible in its own story.
I talked with my doctor and we are going to try somethings differently this time. Hubby told me I can have all the pain meds I want or a c-section. He will support me no matter what I decide.

Does anyone have any tips on getting through this again? Please!

 

[baymule]

I feel kinda obligated to go without the epidural. It’s more of a pride thing than anything else. DH’s exwife will forever be saying ‘well I didn’t need an epidural with Joey’ Joey was also an over 8lb baby and there was a decently long labor according to DH. Now I’ve got it stuck in my head if I get the shot I’m not as strong as her when in reality I’m a much better person. Sadly the little voice in my head tells me that if I get the epidural she wins.

You gotta let this GO! This is YOU and NOT her. This is not a competition, this is about what is best for you and your baby. How is it any of her business anyway? You don't have to tell her or anybody else the blow by blow labor story, neither does your husband. If probing questions are asked, brush it off with a non committal answer such as, I really can't stand the boring hospital stories people tell and prefer not to bore you with mine. Don't forget to smile sweetly.

 

[baymule]

I bet. I’m sure I’ll be fine, DH keeps telling me I’ll be fine. This time I actually have a baby bump! At 19 I had a molar pregnancy and three years ago we had to have an abortion because my poor daughter was so messed up, no amniotic fluid, no bladder or kidneys. Just a mess. The doctor who performed the procedure was amazing and I loved her for getting my daughters footprints for me. Once it’s safe again I’m getting a memorial tattoo of her feet as owl wings.
Losing Karrigan still has me screwed up mentally so it’s scaring me this time worrying I’ll lose this baby too.

Stop it. Stop beating up on yourself. My first baby was born without a skull, just a membrane over her brain. She died at 2 days old. I did the same as you, I was a mess. But I went on to have 2 beautiful children, got my tubes tied and quit while I was ahead. Losing my first born made me a better mother. I appreciated my children so much more for having experienced losing the first. Their life was so much more precious to me. We have our children for such a fleeting moment, then they are grown ups with their own families. You get one chance at this. Make all the memories you can. My kids still remember having Easter Egg hunts in July, along with other "fun" things we did, just for the fun of it.

You will be a fantastic mother. You will love and cuddle your baby, remembering the daughter you didn't get to hold and cuddle. You will do so much more with your children because the pain of loss makes for the joy of living.

 

[NH Homesteader]

I had both my girls at 36 weeks and change. No pain meds. Went from 3 to 10cm in less than an hour this time. It sucked, but the second it's over... It's over. And there's a beautiful little baby, and you'll forget the pain. Otherwise, no one would have more than one kid lol!

For DD1 my OB said I was a super hero, lol and for DD2 my midwife said I was the most stoic person she'd ever delivered. I was cracking jokes between pushes.

Farm girls aren't normal folks.

 

[tortoise]

I had premature labor with both my boys, starting 25 weeks with my first and 26 weeks with my second. Very scary stuff. They were born just over 37 weeks and 39 weeks.

As far as pain, the first one I had back labor - continuous pain from transition through delivery. The second one I did everything on spinningbabies.com and didn't have back labor. I only had pain during a contraction - nothing in between. Quite a relief.

As far as pain meds, both mine were precipitous and there wasn't time for it. Plus I am absolutely terrified of epidurals and their side effects. I survived. The first one was quiet, the second one I was PISSED OFF with the staff and I screamed - more out of anger than pain. Super over it. I was stuck listening to one birth per hour for 11 hours (long story...), goddammit, it's my turn and y'all are not going to sleep tonight.

 

[sumi]

I went into on-off labour with mine at 30 weeks, 2 weeks and 2 trips to a wonderful old midwife later (to get him into position for the birth) I ended up having a section with an epudural. I went to the doctor 2 days before, he looked at me and said baby is too big, I can't give birth. DS weighed just under 8 lbs (not bad for 32 weeks), but what threw the doctor out was that he had a ridiculous amount of amniotic fluid around him, which made me absolutely massive.

I went into labour properly the morning he was scheduled for the section and was under surveillance and monitored by the nurses, as the doctor said there is no way I can give birth naturally. I was disappointed afterwards, since for some reason, when the time came I had no pain at all. For some strange reason some woman do not feel the pain from the contractions (I spoke to 3 more woman since who had the same experience). It was kinda funny, every time I had a contraction the nurse who monitored me gave me a funny look and I looked back at her like what? What did I do?

@ChickenMomma91 As others said above, every birth and woman is different, but the result is an amazing new little person and joy like you will not believe. I never felt happiness like that, after my son was born, it was incredible! So don't worry too much about what may come, IGNORE that other woman, this is your baby, your body, your life, your turn. Enjoy every bit of it.

 

[TexasLisa]

@ChickenMomma9, you are getting some fantastic advice. Ignore the ex. Concentrate on you and your baby. If you need the shot, by all means get it. It does NOT mean you are weak.

We are behind you. Come back and talk whenever you need to.

 

[Bettacreek]

Everyone is different. First one was 52.5 hours, had trouble dilating, contractions stopped once they broke my water, all that good stuff. They finally induced me, he was upside down, so that's one of the worst labor pains out there... because the pitocin makes it a painful labor, plus with the baby's head putting all the pressure right on your spine and the back of your pelvis, it's just MISERABLE. I ended up with the epidural because I just couldn't take it anymore. Ex-hubby was a total waste of space as far as support as well. Well, honestly, he's just a total waste of space in general. Anyways, my second one was a nice long labor as well, closer to 48 hours. I took some Tylenol PM (was told it was ok by doc) and slept through most of the first stages of labor, because I was NOT going through another two day labor without sleep. I also ate before I went to the hospital, because again, I wasn't going two days without anything to eat or drink. I got to the hospital and he was born within the hour. I even drove in my standard vehicle to get there, lol. It was by FAR much easier than my first labor. Heck, I delivered with a doc in the room but he wasn't even set up... I told them to hurry up because he's coming right now, and they're like, "oh no, you still have some time left" I said, "No, check, he's COMING!" So, the nurse mosied on over to do a check and as she was getting her hand down there out he came. I also didn't have any pain afterwards, even without medications. I attribute most of my problems with the first one d/t them trying to rush everything along and not leaving me the hell alone. So, as we're taught in nursing school, every woman is different, every pregnancy is different. You can have six kids and each labor will be different. Don't stress too much, if you need the pain meds, take them, but try to just stay calm and comfortable. Oh... One thing that REALLY helped me with pain was a nice hot shower, with the stream directed right at the most painful spot in my back. I spent a good bit of my first labor in the shower, when the water would get cold, I'd get out and suffer until the hot water was back, lol.

 

[me&thegals]

Honestly, I just went deep inside myself, focused on breathing, shut everything else out and counted through the pain. I'm sorry I don't have other suggestions. I wouldn't have wanted anyone touching me, and a hot bath did not help.

 

[baymule]

I’m due this July and now I’m scared I’ve had to have two operations involving my cervix and uterus. This puts me at risk for premature labor...... maybe I shouldn’t have typed in pregnancy into the search bar

You can ask for a shot, it isn't as horrible as some big mouth-little brained women make it out to be. For some reason, those type always want to regale everyone with their pregnancy/birth horror stories. I took the classes, that breathing stuff wasn't cutting it for me, and I got a shot. As the Lamaze teacher said, "Giving birth can't be all THAT bad-just look at all the people walking around!"

It is normal to be nervous, but don't be scared. No, the labor isn't so much fun, but the baby will erase all that from your mind.